Crocodile Tears

Evening 6

New Trails and Interrogations

Major Surolian lets out a sigh of relief and turns to the group.

“So you’re all with me? Good. We’re going to have to work quickly if we want to take advantage of the chaos in the city. Follow me. He says stepping into the coach. The two soldiers swing into the driver’s seat. The group clamors into the carriage while Normus rides his Spider Eater through the maddened streets where looters and vandals run through the streets celebrating their new anarchist regime.

“Look at this. It’s disgusting. They are given ten seconds of freedom, and this is what they do with it? Pathetic. Anyway, on to business. We need to find the cabal. They and their master escaped the castle with the king after it fell out of the air. The new government is flimsy, and they will be striking at it’s knees to try and regain control of the capital. We have to stop them. We will try to determine the location of their nest so we can put them down before any turbulence gives them the chance to act.

The intelligence I have gathered tells me that the king has a secret bunker for national emergencies. The cabal and a number of loyalist supporters have fled their, as well as large groups of nobles from all over the country that are running to the bunker for protection from the mob. If we can catch a noble and squeeze them for information, we can obtain the the location of the bunker. I have arranged a trap for nobles passing through the city to head to the safe house that will occur at midnight. Until then, I have a checklist of things I need to get done.

Number 1: Upgrade the team’s equipment and secure supplies.

Number 2: Liaison with the head of the new government to make sure that they will not interfere with our operations (In other words, suck up to the men on top).

Number 3: Secure our hiding place for the night.

We leave at the crack of dawn tomorrow. It seems we are here." The major say as the carriage comes to a halt outside a military wear house. He turns to the drivers and nods. “Thank you gentlemen, that will be all.”
The soldiers solute the major and take off.

Kaylee turns to Malak and nudges him.

“So how much did Major shorty pay you for his mission?”

Major Surolian frowns.

“I resent that.”

The group walks up to a very tall pair of locked doors.

“Ms. Firestone, you told me on the ride over that you had some skill picking locks, correct?” The major inquires.

“Yes, but I don’t have any tools. Does anyone have a knife or something I can use?” Kaylee asks.

The Time is 5:30 pm.

John thinks that picking locks takes no intelligence what so ever so he picks up his great club, pushes his bush beast to the ground and starts to bash the lock/door. After many attempts he says “Opening door impossible. John would like corrisium. Mother brood always said…….”use corrosium"."
John pounds the door with all his might, but only manages to dent the doors.

“Good luck, John. That door is solid processed Core. You’d need Adamantine to cut through it.” The Major says

“Hey my shirt is made of adamantine, can i do anything with that??” Maverick asks

Maverick would like to add Keen, Ghost touch, and Distance to her staff {{doubtful i can even add THAT much to it right?}}

Maverick smiles at Kaylee, and introduces herself. “I’m Maverick and this is my daughter Mary. How old are you my dear?” then she whispers to her, “if u never listen to a word i say ever again please listen to this, stay FAR away from Normus!!!!” she says pointing slyly over at him.
“Nice to meet you Maverick. I’m 16. You’re the possessed girl, right?” Kaylee says. (Still waiting on tools)

Maverick grimaces, “im not possessed, im not on drugs, and im dont have magic rot. ur brother and the major are….silly gooses.” Maverick says to Kaylee.

Malak says “Here Kaylee, I managed to find this on the way here.” Malak gives Kaylee his lock pick kit.

“Normus, if you touch my sister, I’ll make you wish that you were receiving the Major’s threats.” Malak states sharply.

Malak turns to Surolian “Where are we to aquire these upgrades?”

“Thank you brother.” Kaylee says in elven fiddling with the lock.

“The only way your shirt would be useful is if you would allow us to melt it down and cast a drill with it.” The Major says.

“Got it!” Kaylee exclaims as the tumblers audibly click.

“Mr. Firestone, you asked me where we would acquire our new equipment…” The major says waiting for Kaylee to stand up and move away from the door. He raises his foot and kicks the massive doors open. A massive expanse of racks of weapons, armor and various Odds and Ends stretch out in all directions. Yards upon yards of shelves fill the rooms that are alighted by the windows that bleach everything in the hazy orange light of the late afternoon sun.

“All military surplus. We received an order form HQ that the military will be taking some serious cutbacks now that the new regime is in power. They feel that all our equipment is unnecessary, so they will be selling most of it to surrounding nations. Take what you like.” He says, grabbing a saber off a rack and tossing it to Mclovin. He breezes past the armor section and lifts up and arm guard that would fit a lizard folk and tosses it to John.

“I’m sorry to say that most archers in Ranpurre use crossbows, so I’m not sure arrows would be something I could do for you.” The major says to Malak. “If I could interest you in converting to a crossbow, we might be able to find you some more powerful ammunition.”

Kaylee rummages through the weapons and armor and brings out a dagger with green streaks running down the sides of the blade.

“Why do you guys have Battorian Steel? Isn’t that stuff supposed to come from hell?” Kaylee asks.

“The nobles did a lot of consulting with less-than-reputable creatures, as you most of you can tell from meeting the Vampire Cabal. We have several imports from most of the lower planes.” The major responds.

Kaylee shrugs and sticks the knife in her belt.

The Major walks over to another stand and picks a pair of gauntlets off the shelf. He puts them on and holds them next to the wire-wrapped hilt of a Zwiehander. It flies off the rack and into his hands.

“Magnetic Gauntlets anyone?”

John egerly puts on the arm gaurd and does a seach check for anything made of corrosium.

John beats his bush beast and forces him to look for corrosium. He then adds that if he fails that he might as well not come back. But if he does not come back then John will hunt him down and burn him.

The Bush Beast Tears and waddles around the store room looking for Corrosium.

Maverick looks uneassily at the dagger, “Maybe u shouldnt take that Kaylee, i just dont think you should. im sure there are better things in here than….that.”

Maverick rummages around looking at the stuff.

Maverick finds an Amulet of Wound Closing and a 10 lb block of Frystalline. She also finds a scroll of invisibility, a Decanter of Endless Water, a Breathless Ring and a Reduce Person potion.

Maverick takes all these items into her posseion.

Maverick puts on the breathless ring and the amulet.
John has no luck finding the corrosium he desires when he spots a large door with a sign that reads “Hazardous Materials”. John being a lizard folk, and the door being a door, he walks in. It is extremely dark in the room, but thanks to his dark vision, john manages to look around and see that the whole room is filled with extremely volatile materials. In the corner, next to several kegs of gunpowder, is a 5 lb block of corrosium.

Decanter of Endless Water- Small cup that on command will fill to the brim with water any number of times per day

Breathless Ring- The wearer of this ring no longer needs to breath.

Frystalline 
A mineral that grows in the icy mountain caves of Eronia, the second layer of the Blessed Fields of Elysium (Celestial Realms). Its resilient, pale-gold ore contains divine energy that sleeps beneath the mountains. Any weapon made of frystalline is treated as Good aligned for the purpose of overcoming damage reduction.

John grabs the block of corrosium, finds his bush beast and throws the block at him. He then grabs the powder keg and asks the major “Can we bring this?” “We also want mounts or new boat…. with a cannan!” John says to the Major.
Malak looks for the cross bow bolts. “Prehaps with my knife, I can forge these into suitable arrows.” Search check.
Malak fishes around, and manages to find a magazine of Shocking Damascus Steel bolts.
Malak searches for a hand crossbow (the type that goes on his wrist) for close range combat. Malak does a search check for locks and manacles.

He also tosses his “Lift Pass to the Palace”
Malak finds a hand Crossbow and a shame flute.

The major sees malak rummaging and tosses him a black vest with silver trim.

“This would seem to be right up your ally, considering that you are the member of the group interested in equipment.

Malak has received a Vest of Useful Items.

Malak reattached his chain to the shame flute and his rope to the grappling hook. He attaches the hand crossbow to his arm. Appraise check on the vest of useful items and to see how many crossbow bolts are in a magazine.

Maverick continues to look for stuff, and finds a staff of wonder. Maverick stares in wonder at the staff and takes it with her.

John does a search check for anything that is dragon related.

Maverick finds a Rod of Wonder. On the side, Two Sylvan words are written in silver letters running down the sides.

Just as everyone starts looking for more equipment a low ranking soldier wanders into the room.

“What’s going on? Who authorized you all to be in here? Give me some answers before I sound an alarm.”

Major Surolian walks up to the man calmly.

“Listen, there has been a mistake…” The major starts to say. Suddenly, he tackles the other soldier to the ground and catches him in a head lock. He draws one of his sabers and bashes the man in the back of the head repeatedly with the hand guard of his sword. The man finally stops struggling and Major Surolian releases him.

“We are going to have to leave now, I’m sorry. I thought we would have more time before we were discovered. It seems that they have been beefing up security. Either way, it’s getting late, and we still have so much to do. Follow me.”

Malak smiles “I see why Zmire had such loyalty to you, Major.”

John seaches the body that major kicked the crap out of. Handle animal if successful he brings his bush beast and pats him on the head and says to him “Dont let block touch me or John bring the hurt on you. Major sir, me see why good friend Zimire liked you so.”

The Major leads the group to a small corral covered in white mist. No one can see through the cloud of steam, but the sound of animals snorting and braying can be heard inside. The Major hops the fence and disappears into the fog. He returns with 5 white horses that seem to emanate a large billowing cloud of mist.

“These are Myst Steeds. They originate on the Elemental Plane of Air. They are good for crossing wet environments like the swamps.” The major says handing the reins to Malak, Maverick, John and Mclovin.

Malak uses Wild Empathy and does a handle animal check. If sucessful he sits upon the steed and haul’s Kaylee up to sit behind him.

“Maverick, do you have a spell that will enhance Bacon’s speed if he can’t keep up with the elementals?”

After asking Malak pauses for a moment and says

“Kaylee prehaps you should get to know Mary, I’m sure you could teach her a few tricks.”

“Hmm, i bet i could whip something up spell wise.” Maverick tells Malak.

“Oh would you teach her a few things Kaylee dear? she a very fast learner and i just get so worried everytime we run into trouble shes going to get hurt! and shes truelly a sweetheart i really think u would just love her!” Maverick cooes to Kaylee ever so motherly.

Maverick does a Handle Animal check.

if succesful, she puts mary on her back and slides onto the animal.

Mclovin sneaks back towards the weapon shed if they havent traveled too far. If he sees anyone alive there, he leaves. If no one else is there, he does a search check for a retractable wrist knife and gets out as quickly as possible.

Malak finds in his vest:
Dagger
Bulls-eye lantern (filled and lit)
Tent
Mirror (a highly polished 2-foot-by-4-foot steel mirror)
Pole (10-foot length)
Scroll of Neutralize Poison
Ladder, wooden (24 ft. long)
Portable Ram
Rowboat (With oars)
10 gems (Worth 100 gp each)
As a note to Maverick, The rod of wonder is a very powerful magic Item about the size of a maglite. I won’t tell you what it does, but in order to activate it, you need to find the command phrase.)

Everyone leaves except for John and Mclovin. John quickly loots the body and finds 16 silver, a week’s worth of trail rations, and a “Headband of Intolerable Energy”. It has a Red Dragon emblazoned on it. John uses his speed to catch up with the others.

Malak is unable to use Wild Empathy on the Myst Steeds (I know I miss lead you when I said “Handle Animal check” but technically these things are as you said “Elementals” and that means that they are outsiders)

Everyone but Mclovin tries to tame their Myst Steed, and succeeds. John however, tries to climb on his Myst steed, and it bucks him. He lands on his face, with only his pride injured.

“Sure, I’ll take her under my wing.” Kaylee says swinging into the saddle with her brother.

The major nods.

“While I appreciate stoking my ego, we are on a time constraint. I will have to ask you all to head to the site of our trap in case I don’t make it back in time from my ass-kissing session. Head to this address in the middle ring, and wait until midnight. If I’m not back by midnight and he shows up, restrain him by any non-lethal means necessary. I also have some… other things to do….” The major says, eyeing a large shovel near the pen. He hands Malak a sheet of paper with an address. “Good luck everyone.” The major swings into the riding saddle of the Myst Steed, and takes off.

Meanwhile, Mclovin rummages around until he finds a loaded spring sheath. he straps it onto his wrist, but the item seems pretty useless, considering the fact that he isn’t wearing a shirt with sleeves, so the spring sheath is plainly visible.

Several guards walk in on Mclovin as he straps the device to his wrist.

“Hey, That guy beat up charlie! FREEZE!” One one of them yells.

The time is 8:45 pm.
John extemley flustered that is elemental is being fussy decides to ask Mclovin for help, search check for Mclovin. If John does find him he helps him with what ever he is doing.

“Ah, shit, c’mon u guys stop fucking around lets GO. I dont wanna another fight, not today.”

John sees two soldiers standing in front of the door to the wear house. Mclovin is still inside.

John walkes up to the gaurds and asks “Problem?” he then takes out his great club and attacks if they attack Mclovin or himself.

Malak gives Scroll of neutralize poison to Maverick and the dagger Kaylee “Give this to Mary after you’ve trained her.”

“Aw.. crap…” Malak says seeing the guards.

“Please back away sir, we are apprehending a thief.” One of the soldiers says. They approach Mclovin with a pair of manacles when John slams his great club into their backs. John is surprised to see that the soldiers are protected by the breast plates they were wearing over their green and blue uniforms. One of the soldiers whirls around and stands behind his partner.

“Cover me so the thief can’t flank us!” The soldier says pulling a dire flail off his back. With one end, he yanks the great club out of John’s hands, and the other, he smashes him in the face dealing 4 damage. the second soldier grabs an explosive tipped spear from a rack, and hurls it at Mclovin. He misses, but the weapon explodes sending a massive shock wave through the store house that nocks both John and Mclovin off their feet. Mclovin is caught in the explosion, and takes 2 fire damage.

(Just an environmental note, the sun has gone down, and the wear house is very dark. John and Mclovin have partial concealment, and are unaffected by the darkness because they both have dark vision. However, I must warn you guys, these are not ordinary soldiers {Who would normally be very formidable already}, these guys are MPs. They will not go down with out killing one or both of you.)

HIDE!!!!” John leaps into the shadows does a hide check and slieght of had to get his club back.

“Augh quit fucking around already! get on ur damn elemental horse thing and lets GO! damnit u guys!” Maverick mummers. she makes her elemental hide behind something large so that she can plot.

John ducks and rolls behind a large shelf, missing his weapon on the other side of the room.

“Where did he go?” One soldier asks.

“No idea. We need some light in here if we want to catch these bastards.” replies the other.

They fumble around in the dark, attempting to fabricate torches.

“Back up, we need back up.” One soldier says, talking into a ring on his finger. “Bring a portable source of light.”

} Maverick does not hide since she apparently is far away and in the dark. {{didnt knw the far away part!}}

Malak says “Hmm…. we ought to get moving soon, Maybe any chance an illusion spell?”

Maverick casts an illusion upon the guards, suddenly beautiful man-eating sirens float down from the tree tops.

John gets a clear sight of his great club tries to grab it and then RUNS LIKE FUCKING HELLLLLLl!!!!!!!!!! He runs to his mount and tries another handle animal check (my bush beast is still there right?)

John zooms past the MPs and charges the corral. He skids to a stop right next to his Myst Steed and with an adrenaline fueled dire urgency, demands the outsider’s obedience. The elemental complies, and allows John to pull his bush beast on top of it.
Mclovin sprints out after John towards where he left the others.
Mclovin sprints out of the warehouse as the two MPs fumble blindly in the dark.
john as he rides his stead looks for Malak and mavrick and tries to catch up with them.
Malak reveals his position to John and proceeds to ride to the checkpoint that the Major had pointed out for him
The group arrives at a large military hotel. Several soldiers stand around smoking, eating, bullshitting, and simply enjoying off-duty. Many civilians are also walking about, checking in or checking out. The group leaves their mounts tied out front, and walk into a large, wood paneled lobby.

A woman in a green and blue uniform looks at the group as they enter.

“Can I help you? She asks in a nasally voice.

Malak tells the woman, “Hi, I do believe a Major Surolian has made arrangements for us.”

“We want room and lots o meat! John says with dribble rolling down his cheeck. “Do you know where John can find an armorer?” John askes the lady.

“Do you know where I could buy a shirt?” Mclovin asks. [also, can i change the blade in the wrist thing? if i can, i put the blade from the luck dagger in]

“Oh, Your Surolian’s party. Well, he ask me to put aside your room key, but I thought you would be here later. We will have room service bring up some nice pork we just got in the kitchen. Good riddance to those damn nobles. I’m afraid the armorer won’t be in until tomorrow at noon. After the trades men stop rioting, you might be able to find one in town. If you need a shirt (Although it’s weird for a lizard man to ask for one) you could probably buy a cheap one in the equipment station next door. Room 29, on your left.” The woman says handing Malak a brass key.

The Time is 10:30.

Malak replies “Thank You, we are expecting a third party, If they ask please just send them up to the room.”

Malak goes to the eqiupment room and does a spot check to see what they have available.

Malak walks next door to the equipment station and sees a familiar sight to the one he saw when he first entered the country. A brown lizard man stands behind the counter behind a large glass window.

“Hello, interested in military surplus? What can I get you?” The lizard man asks.

John offers Mclovin to dip his blade in some of spider venom. John then walks up to the shop clerk shakes his hand and says in draconic “Sir could you give me a blow dart gun? I am in desperate need.”

Mclovin says “sure, thanks” and dips the blade in the spider venom. He goes to the equipment room and asks if he could get a shirt that would conceal his blade, but that wouldnt look too awkward on a lizard folk.

“Lets see what I can do.” The lizard man says thumbing through a pile of military fatigues. He comes back with a green and blue jacket with long sleeves and hands it to Mclovin. “That will be 5 silver.”

Maverick follows Malak {{and whoever else is with us?? idk i need a head count}} to the room. Mary and Leon in tow.

John pays for any of his own and Mclovins expenses.

John trys to buy dark wood from the respectable lizard folk and then does a craft check and pays him. He then askes who ever has darts to please give them to john for they are clearly not useing them. If john gets them he dips them in spider venom.

Mclovin says “thanks” to both the lizard folk for the shirt and to john for loaning him the money to buy it. he tries it on. he asks if he can get anything that will give either his sabre or his wrist blade a bonus (fire, etc)

“Thank you, but I’m afraid we don’t sell enchantments, or blow guns. I do have some dark wood scrap if you would be willing to carve one.” The lizard man says ducking behind the counter and setting a small carved up branch on the counter. “The scrap is one copper piece.”

Mclovin loads his luck dagger into his spring sheath.

Maverick goes down the hall to the group’s room and sees that Malak and everyone but Kaylee and Normus (This includes Mclovin, John and Malak) have gone off to shop for equipment. Malak also has the key, so he has left her standing their next to a serial rapist with two other girls.

Malak says “I will most certainly buy the darkwood scrap! do you have any core arrow heads or potions by any chance?”

“Kaylee anything you need?” Malak asks her.

The lizard man hands the scrap to Malak.
“One copper.”

“Well, I could try to modify these bolts I have here. To be honest, it’s a miracle that you even found arrow heads in the first place in this country. Most archers around here have converted to crossbows.” The Lizard man says, motioning to Malak’s quiver. “I do sell raw materials, and I am selling by the pound if you would rather take it to some one who could make master work tips for you.”

Normus suddenly pops out of his trance that he’d been in for the past few days, where he’d been engaging in vile fantasies.“What? Captain Surolian is a bastard.”

Normus will follow the fellows to the equipment station, and he will stick his nails in the spider-eater to abuse it to show his dislike towards it as a creature, though he admires it as a companion. “You’re a cool fellow”

Normus also does a search check for a girl who looks like Kaylee.

(Sigh, Kaylee is with Sam.)

Normus prowls the corridors and finds a girl with long black hair who from behind sort of looks like Kaylee if you squint.

He runs up to her and grabs her breasts.

RAPE!” she screams.

“No. I’m not going to rape you,” Normus says, keeping his hands on her breast. “Come join me on the saddle of my spider-eater. I can show you my X-ray monocle. I’m a very respectable man.”

She pokes Normus in the eye and runs down the hall. Normus has been blinded in one eye.

Normus seeks out an armed revolutionary prancing about, who he can complain to about the injustice committed by this girl.
He would describe the girl and says: “There’s this menace. I was making a proper solicitation to her, and she overreacted and hurt me greatly. She should be excruciated for her crimes. She is an enemy of our new communist utopia.”
THIS MAN HAS BEEN THE VICTEM OF INJUSTICE! WE MUST DESTROY THE TYRANT!!!” The man in the streets roars. Several hundred peasants amass around Normus with pitch forks and torches. They scream random things about anarchy and look expectantly at Normus for instructions.

“Go after the girl that looks like this” Normus says and then proceeds to describe Kaylee. “She’s responsible for poking my eye out. Such abuse cannot be tolerated against a loyal comrade of my stature. She has no respect for our system. All I made was a reasonable courtship solicitation, and she attacked me! That is like how the nobles were!”
Mclovin does a listen check for what’s happening outside the shop. If he can’t hear anything, he looks out the window/door. If he sees/hears anything worthy of telling his comrads, he tells them.
Mclovin hears shouting out side. He goes to the door and sees Normus with an angry mob. The mob runs to the hotel and breaks down the doors. John buys the stick. He fiddles with the stick and manages to carve a non-master work blow gun.

The mob storms the hotel, knocking random soldiers and civilians alike over and ripping valuable things off their person. They chant about injustice until they get to the floor the girls are standing on. The grab Kaylee and start beating the living crap out of her. She takes 5 damage. A small group of soldiers gathers around the mob and tries to disperse the mob. It fails, but the group of soldiers’ numbers grow slowly.

John hearing the news from Mclovin goes and does a search check for Mavrick. If he suceeds he trys his best to help Kaylee.

John follows the mob and watches them attack Kaylee. He tries to fight his way through the crowd, but the mob is a wall of people 5 feet thick in a small corridor.

SHIT! Guys, we’re going to have to bust out the riot gear and the MWM5’s.” One soldier says to the others.

“We have riot gear?”

“OF COURSE WE HAVE RIOT GEAR, RETARD! We’re soldiers!”

The soldiers bolt down the hall, and re-appear wearing modified full plate armor and wielding oddly shaped maces. They hit a small red button on the side of the mace, and the weapon screeches horribly. The magnitude of how awful this sound is causes the walls to buckle. The crowd of peasants drop to the ground, clutching their ears and all take 1 sonic damage. The soldiers proceed to beat every last rioter to with in an inch of their lives until the whole crowd if gone. The soldiers shut off their maces and take off their helmets.

“Sorry about all this. Give the major my regards when he arrives.” One soldier says to John. The soldiers bandage Kaylee’s wounds and throw a blanket over her. She is shaken and covered in blood, but stable and other wise alright.

Malak purchases 5 pounds of raw material and another magazine of crossbow bolts. he dropps 5 gold coins on the counter.

Malak goes outside to see what has happened to Kaylee.

WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED AND WHOM AM KILLING TONIGHT!!!!!” Malak roars filled with rage.

Normus jerks off in the shadows to thoughts of what has just happened and gets his hands covered in ejaculatory fluid.

Normus then approaches Malak and puts his hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry about that. Some no good hussie who looks just like Kaylee poked my eye up real bad, so I wanted the proper revolutionary authorities to teach her a lesson. There must have been a mix-up. I didn’t necessarily want Kaylee hurt that way. It was all misunderstood.”

John askes for darts form Mavrick. He buys a lot of meat and pays for it.

Maverick gives John the darts.

Maverick holds onto Kaylee stroking her hair and mummuring to her as she crys. She shoots a glare at Normus, “I’m sure it was all a misunderstanding!” she said acidicly. “This is what i meant about staying away from Normus dear, u dont even have to do anything….”

Malak buys 4 pounds of core and 1 pound of fluid steel (did I purchase the extra cross bow bolts for the hand crossbow?)

Malak replies " Oh, I see… a misunderstanding…." Malak casts continual flame on Normus’s groin.

Mclovin walks outside to where the others are. He chuckles if Normus’ groin catches on fire.

At this point, everyone is standing outside the room the major booked for the group. Malak points at Normus’s crotch and his pants bursts into flames. Normus rolls on the ground, trying to put the fire out, but it refuses to go out due to it’s magical nature. Normus takes 1 fire damage. As theses shenanigans are happening, a woman with a tray of food walks up to the door of your room.

“Are you the party for this room?” she asks.

As she stands there waiting for a response, a fat man in an over coat, cloak and hat approaches the door of the room. He is accompnyied by an increadably tall half-elf with dark red hair and violet eyes. One might think he had drow blood, but his pale skin rules out that possibility.

“Are you the escort squad that short man told me about?” The fat man with lots of clothing asks Malak.

Rael observes the group in front of him. A total of seven people are in the make up this squad his employer is enquiring of. He finds it suspicious that he can’t detect the alignment of the fat man who hired him, but if he was evil, why would he even bother hiring a paladin?

A half-elf in a mask stands over a human with a helmet and a monocle. The man in the mask is Irate, and the man with the monocle is on the floor with his pants on fire. The man in the helmet is clearly evil, and strangely, the helmet on his head is also evil. There are two women on the floor. One has been very badly beaten and looks like she’s on the verge of tears. The other wears a black great coat and is on the floor comforting the other woman. The girl in the great coat has a very strong aura of good. She is probably a cleric. A small girl clings to the cleric’s coat. The other two are lizard men, one green and one blue. The green one is laughing at the man who’s pants are on fire. The blue one has a small hairy creature next to him carrying a large block of metal and a black great club.

Name: Rael Kazantzakis (also called Alice)
Age: 18
Gender: Male
Race: Half-Elf
Height: 6’5"
Weight: 205 lbs
Hair Color: Dark Red
Eye Color: Violet
Skin Color: Pale White
Religion: Christian
Sexuality: Straight
Profession: Paladin
Personality: Rael is a mild mannered Half-Elf. Sometimes he is very spontaneous. But not always. He is very fond of orange milkshakes, Kansas, books and Phil Collins. He hates it whenever people disrespect women. He also hates psychopaths and Margaret Sanger (the bitch).
Family: He doesn’t really like to talk about them.
Favored weapon: A one-and-a-half handed sword with a blunt, square tip instead of a pointed one. It makes breaking limbs easier. He named it Gabriel. He likes naming things.
Favored fighting style: Methodical and precise.
Background: Rael sort of popped out of nowhere one day. He has a past, but doesn’t like talking about it. His ambitions are unclear, but he wishes to do the right thing because some previous sin he has committed haunts him.

Malak turns to the fat man and the half-elf and says " Yes, we are the escort group. I implore that you remain here before we proceed."

Malak opens the door, “Come, Everyone let us enter the room. Mav please look after Kaylee.”

“Uh, what are we supposed to do with these people?” Normus asks as he removes his pants. “They should be serving us I think, especially that half-elf. Don’t address your superiors unless spoken to, boy!”

Normus walks over to Rael.

Malak looks at Normus in disgust and states, "Half-Breed! how dare you insult one who is purer in elven blood than you! Not only do you insult our guest but you offend myself as well for I am also half-elf "

Malak turns to Rael “I apologize for this slime ball, he does not represent us.”

John nods to the the fat man and then to Rael. “John ask, where we take you? Trust John to protect you. Everyone else coward. They just make spell or shoot arrow while John take abuse.” John looks at Rael and says to him “John hope you fight hand to hand. You no coward are you?”

Malak opens the door, and a large five room apartment sprawls out in front of them. The foyer and main living space has a small darkwood table and three couches. The rooms are plain, and only one doesn’t have a bed and chamber pot.

The fat man sits down on a couch and takes his at and cloak off.

“How long must we stay here? I don’t want to take my chances with all these degenerates running around.” The fat man asks. “Besides that, what are your names?”

Maverick picks up Kaylee with ease and carries her to a couch or chair in the main room. Mary follows her. She shuts the door behind her and locks it.

She looks at Rael, she senses he is good {{Alice ur character is kick ass i love you!}} Maverick clears her throat and says “I am Maverick and this is my daughter Mary,” she says motioning to the small child next to her, “my companion, Leon,” she gestures to a small cat sized brass dragon, “and this here is Kaylee, Malak’s sister. she was almost mauled to death by the ground because of THAT pervert over there!” she says glaring at Normus. she mumble “sonofabitch” under her breath.

Mclovin introduces himself to the fat man. He shotties the best room in the apartment. Once everyone is in, he locks the door, saying, “Just incase there’s another riot,” while glaring angrily at Normus.

“We wait here until the Major returns” Malak says

Malak goes to tend to Kaylee.

“Why do lizard folk always have to intorduce them selves! That why humans and elves smell so bad cause they think they is so great that they never be with any other race us monsterous humanoids dont like you cause you so stuck up! DRAGON GOD!!” John introduces himself to the fat man and picks a random bed, puts his stuff their and allows his bush beast to sleep in the same bed as long as he dosnt wet it or take up all the blankets. He then attempts to smash the dark wood table to make arrows for malak and mor darts for him self. If he makes the darts successfully he dips all the darts he has in spider venom. he also comands his bushbeast to be as carful as posible with his corrosium.

The time is 12:30

“I’m sick of waiting! I’m a noble god-dammit! I don’t deserve to live like a scared animal! I’m better than this shit! If I don’t see that short sonova bitch soon I’ll find another band of retard mercenaries who can be punctual!” The fat man screams. He storms towards the door and rips it open. Major Surolian stands in the hallway with a muddy shovel.

“Edmund.” The Major says. He winds up and cracks the fat man in the side of the head with his shovel. The fat man sprawls out on the floor, unconscious. “Malak, would you be so kind as to restrain Lord Fwyrick.”

The Major checks the the body over and pulls a gold ring off the fat man’s finger.

“A ring of non-detection… not bad.” He says slipping it on. He leans his shovel in the conner and takes off his blue and green army jacket. He throws it on one of the couches and unbuckles his sword belt. He leans on one of his calvary sabers and stares at Rael.

“I take it from your dress that you are a religious man of some sort. You however, carry an unorthodox blade, one I rarely see in even the well trained and eclectic barracks Ranpurrian army. Most clergy men wouldn’t even know how to hold a sword like that. This means that you must be a crusader… a paladin. If I know any thing about paladins, I know that they don’t work for evil employers. And yet here you are, escorting a noble to a check point along a rout that will eventually lead to a den of vampires. I might not be omniscient, but it’s fairly obvious that he was deceiving you with this.” The Major says holding up the ring he stole from the fat man. Rael notices that the Fat Man’s alignment has shifted to evil, while the soldier’s alignment has become unreadable.

“I’ve got a job that requires a large quantity of divine fire power. I will allow you to join our crew. In all likely hood, this man would have disposed of you when your task was done and he was out of harm’s way.”

Malak puts the noble in the shame flute accompanied with the chain.

“Major, are we to rest tonight? It has been a long day” Malak asks.

John with out question goes to sleep.

“Yes, everyone should get some sleep. I’ll handle the interrogation.” The Major says dragging the nobleman into the only room without a bed. “Be ready to be up early tomorrow. I have a lecture, then we need to get moving.”

Malak goes to sleep.

Mclovin goes to sleep. he keeps his wrist blade on while he sleeps, hidden.

“I would would like to partake in this interrogation,” Normus indicates. “I’d also like his pants and some food to eat. I’m starved. Maybe some beans and mush. Rael, you should get the bedless room. My stock slept on a bundle of hay, which is far superior to that nothingness.”

Rael greets all of you. He says: Hullo. He will help look after Kaylee.

“Oh, thats right. There was a woman with a plate of food in the hall. I assume she became fed up with waiting. If you would like to help me, I’m not going to say no. Would you prefer an aggressor or benevolent (Good cop, or bad cop?) stance during our interrogation?” The major asks.

John makes 15 darts and 10 arrows. This includes both the table and all the scrap both you guys bought in the equipment store.

Before the major enters into the room where the noble man is being held, he turns to Rael.

“I know you don’t know me, but your cooperation is greatly appreciated. Thank you.” He extends his hand to Rael. Whether Rael takes it or not (Your decision), the major enters the small room with no bed, and shuts the door. The only people still awake are Maverick, Kayle and Rael (Mary passed out on the couch.)

Normus enters the room where the noble man is being held and screams: “Noble scums! How dare you oppose the glory of the new communist order? You are a little speck on the ground that should be crushed by my might!”

Rael takes a good hard menacing look at look at Normus. “Goddamn commies!”, he shouts. He slashes at Normus’ jugular with his bastard sword, using Smite Evil.

Gabriel bursts into bright pale blue light. Rael swipes his bastard sword across Normus’s throat and deals 8 damage. Normus plops on the floor and flails on the ground, choke on blood that pours down his own neck. He clutches the hole made by the sword, but continues to have a hard time breathing as air escapes his lungs and blood flushes down his esophagus. Rael stands over Normus, ready to deliver the finishing blow when Normus’s voice can be heard in Rael’s head.

ORDER: KILL YOURSELF.”

Rael is compelled to turn his bastard sword around and begins to slowly impale himself on his own weapon. Rael takes 4 damage.

The major react’s quickly and and rips the sword out of Raels hands. He tosses it across the room and knocks Rael to the ground.

“That’s enough. If there is two things I won’t stand for among my troops, it’s mutiny and infighting.” The major says, holding Rael down so he won’t hurt himself. “Maverick, please stabilize Mr.Tyire. I need him for the interrogation.”

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