Crocodile Tears

Day 7

The next morning, the group wakes up refreshed (This having been only one of two times they have awoken in a bed.) Maverick, Mary and Kaylee wake up on one of the three couches. Kaylee seems to have recovered from the shock of nearly being mauled to death by an angry mob. Rael awakens tied to a chair. His self-inflicted stomach wound has healed and he has lost the desire to do bodily harm to himself. Malak, Mclovin, and John wake up in their respective rooms, and enter into the main living area. John’s bush beast did not violate any of the conditions that he ordered it. However, John wakes up with several vermin in his bed. Normus wakes up half dead with the wound on his throat healed. As everyone wakes up several glasses and trays of water, meat, milk, bread and fried eggs. The Major is leaning in the corner with a silver cigarette case in one hand, and a coffin nail in the other. He austerely inhales, then lets the smoke pour out his nostrils. He is unshaved, and his eyes are blood shot. His jacket was draped over Mary, and he is still wearing his green undershirt, his blue fatigues, and his black boots. His sword belt is buckled, but one of his swords is missing. He tosses the cigarettes on a couch as the women get up, and unties Rael.

“Help yourselves to breakfast. Even without Normus’s assistance, I still managed to squeeze the intelligence necessary.”

Rael and Maverick eat.

“Now that our goal is clear cut, lets get down to business. The Cabal of Vampires that calls themselves “The cult of Illixgoth” is an ancient order of undead who as most of you know have been manipulating the upper classes into accomplishing their own twisted ends. The worship an Infernal outsider known as Illixgoth. Illixgoth seems to also be connected to his cult in the fact that it is also sustained by blood. No one knows when Illixgoth appeared on the scene, or even what Infernal plane he’s originally from.
During the castle siege yesterday, they escaped into the swamps before the mobs could properly dispose of them. The new anarchist government is weak, and will remain so because of the inadequate bumbling of one Peter Rope. Rope has recently promoted himself head of “The People’s Assembly”. He was the man I went to brown nose yesterday. Rope has made no attempt to stop the riots, or establish some form of order. Them man practically encourages them, using the rabble to gain power through fear (Much as Normus did yesterday). Who ever controls the mob, controls the country right now. Peter is playing Crossbow Roulette with the system, and it is only a matter of time before he blows his own brains out with it. The vampires are waiting for this, gaining support from loyalists everywhere so that when the new government collapses, they will be there to pick up the pieces and reestablish the Monarchy. We have to first cut the ties of the loyalist supporters, then eliminate the Cult while they are weak in the joints." The Major says pacing back and forth through the room as he speaks.

“What do we know about Vampires? Anyone? Don’t be shy. They are undead, correct? This means that they are animated by negative energy, positive energy disrupts them, they are immune to critical hits, holy water burns them like acid, they don’t eat, sleep or drink, and they are at the mercy of clerics wielding religious objects and Icons. This is all general information. Vampires are unique in that by merely raising a holy symbol, they can be forced back even if the person holding the object is not a cleric. Dunking them in running water destroys them immediately, it doesn’t even have to be holy water. Sunlight also destroys them instantly. Vampires have a strange obsession with counting, and will stop in the middle of the fight if they see an spilled bag of rice, or open chests of Jewels. They are not to be underestimated, they can shape-shift, spider climb, dissolve their bodies into gas, regenerate, and snap a man’s will in half with a gaze attack. They are also immune to cold and electric energy attacks.

Normus asks Captain Surolian, “So, hold on here. Who’s the ones in charge here? It’s anarchists and not communists. I’ve been looking like an idiot proclaiming my loyalty to the communist elite, unless of course they’re the same thing. We should reinstate a military dictatorship in which you and me are the highest, Captain. We’re both good reasonable men, who don’t want inferior whelps like nobles, adventurers, or vampires interfering with our way of doing things. We don’t need any of those slobs. Though, what do you suppose the odds are that the nobility will be restored, if you don’t mind my asking?”

Normus also jumps at the food and water and attempts to eat all of it before anyone else can get to it, while simultaneously using his x-ray moncle to get a peak at Kayle.

Malak kicks Normus away, eats his portion, and secures a portion for both Bacon and Kaylee. He says “I swear Major, if Normus ever gets such power I think I’d rather return to the ever burn forest of Azure. Trust me Kaylee we left for a reason. But for the manner at hand, I have two mirrors, they should be allocated to those who can’t defend themselves well. My vote is Mary and prehaps Kaylee if she’ll take it. Also Normus brings up a good point, is there anyone in the Military who would be willing to help out?”

John askes for a smoke from the Major. He eats his breakfast and invites Mclovin to come do a seach check for a functioning armor for he isnt really good at pregame planing. John puts on the head band he found yesterday to respect the dragon god.

The major sighs heavily, and rubs his temples.

“Normus, Communism is an economic philosophy, AND a system of government. The people are anarchists who share everything. It’s not that hard.” he says picking up his cigarette case and tossing it to John.

“My original plan when the Nobles were still in power was to simply stage a coupe de tat, but the Communists took over. The “People’s Assembly” is a self proclaimed committee of public safety, and they essentially assign the mobs to go after their political enemies, so they can tighten their grip on the seat of power. The are really an oligarchy who thinks they can harness the power of the people’s unrest to put some wind in their sails. They are now in control of the army and the way we spend our funding. If we were to try the coupe now, it would ignite a civil war, and that would be all the Cult would need to regain their seat. If the Committee found out we were mucking around in the swamps, wasting the people’s resources, a lot of heads would role. Thats why I left the army and had to convince the assembly to leave us alone. Corporal Zmire would have joined us I’m sure, but being unemployed makes it hard to find the money to find someone to raise him. I’m afraid that like it or not, we are alone."

John puts on the head band and gains 1 negative level, -5 on all roles, AC and HP. John feeling slugish does not want to go out to town so he looks for an armorer from the army.

Malak says “Well Kaylee I guess you can always help teach Mary some stuff, she can get that dagger I gave you, when you think she’s ready. And Mav, that scroll of neutralize poison’ll come in handy. Also, can I get the Star of David back?”

John walks down to the main floor, and looks around the middle ring. Most of the rioting has stopped, and the soldiers go about their daily business. John spots a man with an open air forge and several people standing on with broken weapons. A peasant walks up to John’s bush beast and snatches the Corroisum block out of his hands. (The bush beast tears.)

“I’m going to use this as a chair. I’ll bring it back… eventually. Isn’t Communism great?”

“I don’t think she’ll be seeing daggers anytime soon.” Kaylee says to her brother.

Mclovin eats breakfast, then follows John to the armorer. He does a gather information role to find a place/multiple places where he could find/buy/get things to assemble the following:
Garlic necklace, Wooden stakes, Holy symbol on necklace, Canteen of holy water, Mirror.

Mclovin asks people about the mundane items such as the garlic, stakes and mirror, and he is directed to a grocer, and two different trades men. When he asks a man with braided long blond hair and a bandana over his head about religious Items, he scoffs laugh at him.

“Are you stupid? Religion is for idiots. All you need in life is your love of Communism. You’re dumb because we with our superior logic have killed god. Religion only makes people fight pointlessly about stupid things (This is said while riots are going on in the street). Anyone who goes to church is retarded. What has religion ever done for anyone?”

John attemtps to rip any part of the body of the man that “barrowed” his corrosium. “John trade you limb for block” If john is successful in this transaction he goes to the armorer being very careful makeing sure that the block didnt touch anything metal and askes him to infuse it into his arm guard.

The man screams as John chews off his left hand. When he mentions the trade, the man immediately stops, despite the fact that his wrist stump is still gushing blood.

“OH! Well, I’ll trade it to you if you will sew that hand you are using on to my wrist. Since Communism means we share everything, I’ll let you use that hand for a couple days.” The man says, dropping his butt on John’s block.

Mclovin follows John. When John’s done, Mclovin asks if he could borrow some money to buy stuff to help beat the vampires. If John says yes, Mclovin goes to the grocer and the two tradesmen to buy the respective items they sell.

John grapples the man takes back his block and throws him back his hand and says “clean your self up.” John make his way toward the armorer and does the thing he has been trying to do for about 3 posts. John gives Mclovin 50 gold.

Mclovin thanks John, then goes to the grocer and tradespeople to buy the vampire-repelling stuff. He also buys rope and makes 2 necklaces with it: one with a bunch of garlic cloves and one holding the mirror. He puts the necklaces on. After he purchases about 20 wooden stakes, he inquires about somethign like a throwing knife belt that will hold about 20 wooden stakes. HE also inquires about a mallet that will be sufficient to hammer stakes into chests. If possible, he buys these things too. He also purchases 2 canteens and alcohol, oil, gas or some other very flammable liquid to put in 1 of the canteens and water to put in the other. He also buys a decent number of matches. He inquires about a holy person of any kind who could bless water.

Malak walks outside, Kaylee tailing in his wake. He spots a sign for an armorer and walks in that direction. When he arrives, he sees John monkey stomping some random peasant with a stump hand. The Peasant is sitting on John’s corrosium block. John picks the man up and throws him ten feet away. John’s bush beast snatches the corrosium and follows him to the armorer.

A soldier with a black bandanna stands in the open air forge and shakes his head.

“What can I do for you?”

The peasant with the stump hand springs up and starts picking around in Malak’s quiver and bag.

Mclovin manages to secure all the supplies he was looking for and succeeds his craft checks.

“Why would you want to find a priest? Are you going to laugh and spit on them?” A peasant asks.

John calmly gives the man his arm gaurd and corrosium block (being very carful with it) pats his bush beast on the head for being a good slave. “Can you fuse this into this?” John askes the armorer motioning to each object. He then jumps on the guy who tried to get stuff from Malaks quiver and beats the ever lovin crap out of him.

The man takes the corrosium and the arm guard and throws the metal block into a large furnace. He watches John hand his great club to his bush beast, leap 15 feet in the air and epic strike the peasant for 2 damage and grins.

“It’ll take a few hours. Come back at the end of the day.”

Mclovin bluffs, “Of course I want to spit on a priest. I might even throw shit at them, rape them with a sabre, or take their eyes out. If you would be so kind to show me how to get to one, I’d greatly appreciate it.” He takes out a silver piece and is visibly prepared to give it to the peasant if he gives Mclovin the information he requested.

Malak backhands the peasent who tried to steal from him. “Stay away from me!” He commands search check to see if anything is missing.

Malak goes to the armorer and asks him to forge core arrow heads for him. He gives him the 4 pounds of core material. He than asks him to forge the fluid steel into his Kukuri knife blade. Malak gives the armorer the 1 pound of fluid steel.

Normus asks Surolian, “Can you order more breakfast for us? Also, can you provide me with stakes and garlic and such. The streets are wearisome. I wish not to venture into the,. Wait, a sec.”

Normus turns to Mary or Kaylee, flashing gold coins. “Can one of you go out and get me some mystery sausage, if possible, as well as vampire fighting equipment. I’ll reimburse you, and then you can use the change to get crushed ice to suck on? I want you to reimburse me, Surulian, because it’s not our responsibility.”

“That will be 404 gp.” The armorer says taking the materials. “Come back at the end of the day.”

Malak sees that the peasant John is stomping on has stolen his pipes of sewers. (The peasant has also stolen his Angle Band, but Malak doesn’t notice.)

Mary looks at Normus.

“Lady Maverick says you’re a bad man. She says you come from a nasty shack.”

The Major smirks.

The peasant leads Mclovin to a large church on the other side of town.

Malak realizes that his angel band is gone when the peasant puts it on to escape the savage beating john is giving him. He vanishes into the city.

“Well, Maverick is a whore and a liar as are you.” Normus starts breathing heavily. “But I can forgive you for that. Why don’t you come into one of the bed’s with me, and I’ll further explain what I mean? I’ll give you candy, little girl Please.”

John does a search check for a large bag of rice and a sack that he can tie to his belt. “YOU BETTER RUN! Hey malak he has angle band just like you!” When John finishes his shoping he returnes to his room and waits for his arm gaurd to be ready.

Malak says to John “No, John, that was my angel band…. bastard stole it….” Malak returns to the hotel room.

Malak goes into the room “Hey Mary wanna play with Bacon!” he yells.

Malak does a search check for a piece of cloth or wood to play tug-of-war with his dog.

Malak successfully distracts mary from Normus’s… Pedo advances. He finds some rags, and mary and bacon begin playing on the floor. The sight is freakin adorable.

John finds a bag of moldy rice spilt on the ground. (This sight would have been impossible before the nobles were ousted). He does however, have a difficult time finding a store that sells bags in the middle ring. He ventures out to the crime infested slums and finds a man with several bags.

Mclovin is lead to a recently disheveled church. The man who showed him snickers then walks away.

“No,” Normus claps his hands together. “I guess I’ll have to go out and look for a goat.”

Normus goes outside and attempts to gather information as to the location of a goat as a well as a place where he can buy vampire fighting equipment wholesale, or better “share it” as he is a member of the communist elite of course.

Normus ventures outside and looks around. Most of the people in the middle ring still take money as a legitimate form of payment, and continue to function normally. He travels to the outer ring, and sees several vendors with objects just laying out in the sun. People simply walk up and take things. He also sees a petting zoo.

John before entering the outer ring decides to put all of his belongings besides his great club back in the room and suggests to his bush beast to play with bacon and mary. He then askes the man with the bags what he has to do to get one….that isnt sexual.

Normus goes to the objects lying on the ground and bellows, “I’m more equal than anyone here, so I will have take all of these.”
Normus tries to pick up as many wood objects as he can for making stakes, even if someone else already has this wood object in their hands.

After this Normus would go to the petting zoo and begin winking at one of goats, while saying. “You and me baby ain’t nothing but mammals, so let’s do it like they do on the magical discovery channel.”

Both Bacon and Mary get fleas from the bush beast.

John enters the outer ring many people try to “Borrow” his great club, but are unable to pry it out of his powerful hands. John bops them in the face and they disperse.

‘Well, you can just take these bags, but if you want to be a functioning member of our communist utopia and not be beaten to death by an angry mob, you could carry me like a pack animal. I’m tired of standing." The proprietor of the bags says.

Normus rips several peices of mundane wood out of the hands of other people. One of them looks at him strangely, then smiles.

“OH! You want to trade! Well, okay.” A woman says. She rips the monocle off Normus’s face and runs away with it.

As Normus courts the goat, a small boy stares in horror.

“Mommy, that man is a creeper and a weirdo! He also has bad taste in music!” The boy says running up mother.

“Just ignore him honey. If we pretend he isn’t there, maybe he’ll go away.”

Normus proceeds to engage in intercourse with the goat. He also taps his helmet, saying: “Boy, would I like that x-ray monocle back.”

John grabs the bag and grabs the man. He carrys him around looking for a convenient place to put him down.

Normus has sex with the goat. Parents shield the eyes of their children. A random boy attempts to walk up to Normus, but his mother drags him away.

John picks a sizable leather bag and lifts the man onto his shoulders. He spots a large pile of cow manure and drops the man on top of it.

“Over already? Well, since none of us has any initiative to provide excellent service because we are handed everything we need, I guess it’s good enough.”

“Um, dude, some random chick stole your monocle. She’s long gone. We’d need to hunt her down.” Ouberk says. “You should also stop fucking the goat in public. They might sick the mob on you.”

John drops him in the cow manure seeing that cow manure is actually much more comfterable than most people would think and heads back to his room to reclaim his stuff and put any of his equipment that does not fit in his pockets or is already on his person in his bag and ties the back to his dragon god belt. He scratches his slave on the head and sees if his room comes with a bath.

Normus stops having sex with the goat. “I was just joking,” he tells the people around him. He then seeks out a grocer in the inner-circle.

“Sir, may I purchase a bundle of garlic,” Normus says to the grocer. “I shall give you a few gold coins for your trouble, say 4.”

“Garlic’s 6 gp a pound pal.”

“Very well,” Normus says, handing the man 35 gp but hoping he wouldn’t notice. “I’d like 6 pounds of garlic and a bag too.”

The man looks at the money.

“I’m gonna need one more.”

Malak leaves the hotel and does a spot check/ gather information for a grocer. He spots a grocer. Normus is standing at the counter heckling the owner.

“Fine.” Normus hands it to him and then takes the product. “May I have a bag of some sort?”

The owner stares at Normus with a slight look of malice. He grudgingly puts the garlic in a small straw bag and hands it to Normus.

Malak goes up the grocer and asks for a pound of garlic. he puts down 6 gp.

Mclovin walks into the church. If he sees anyone unusual, he is prepared to stab them with his wrist blade. If he sees a holy person, he asks him to bless his water and hands the person the canteen.

Normus gathers information for a church and would like to venture there.

Mclovin enters the church and sees several depressed looking priests standing around an alter.

“This is so unfair, we left the third second estate so we could reach out to the people in need as is our christian duty, we joined the rebellion when Ringgar said he would drive out all the corrupt priests, and now peter rope has declared a vendetta on all religious organizations. That guy is a sick two faced bastard. WE WERE IN THE RIOTS TOO, DAMNIT! Only we sat in the back and healed people who were acting like animals. Rope has to go.” One of the priests says to his fellow fathers.

One of them notices Mclovin as he walks in. When Mclovin asks about blessing the water, they look at each other.

“Sure, but could you do us a favor, could you help us de-thrown peter rope. He’ll see us all torn to shreds by the mob if he has his way.” The priest says taking the water. He says a quick prayer, and begins chanting praise to Jesus. The water glows blue, then returns to normal.

Mclovin’s water is now filled with holy, positive energy.

Normus is confronted by the same guy who told Mclovin that religion is for idiots.

Maverick is very pissed at Normus and goes to hunt him down.

Maverick looks around and spots Normus talking to a man who won’t stop shut up about how much religion sucks, and how great Communism is.

“I will try to dethrone him, fathers. You could help me accomplish that task by giving me some sort of holy symbol, maybe a cross, if you have one to spare. Thank you for your help.”

Normus laughs maniacally, “I’d love to dethrone Peter Rope. I’m a highly religious Christian man. We can have a theocratic infrastructure, and you can train me as one of the clerical elite. I will declare my loyalty to you and the church.”

Malak thanks the grocer and puts his pound of garlic in his bag. Malak returns to the hotel and does a search check on his items to see if he got pickpocketed.

Maverick uses Mage Scroll to remove the helmet from Normus’s head. Maverick says a prayer to God that it will work.

For one such as yourself, a friend to our lord’s house, you can have these.

Mclovin receives
Symbol of Turning
Prayer Beads (Blessing and Healing)
A Statuete of Summoning
Sigil of Devine Love

Malak has not been pick pocketed.
(People won’t pick your pockets, so there is no need to check. You will be aware if someone is trying to steal something.)

The man Normus is talking to stares at him strangely.

“What, are you Stupid? Religion is for Idiots. Why aren’t you listening to me?” The man says. He runs away crying.

Maverick activates the scroll and the helmet slowly lifts off his head. Suddenly, a voice that sounds like Normus echos in her head.

SUGGESTION: Stop casting.

Maverick is compelled to end the spell, and the helmet ‘shunks’ back onto Normus’s head.

Maverick hears a voice in her head that is clearly not Normus’s.

“You STUPID BITCH! YOU THINK YOUR STUPID LITTLE PARLOR TRICKS CAN STOP ME?! If I wasn’t focused on somthing else right now, I’d crunch your goody-goody little skull like a FUCKING FORTUNE COOKIE! You try to mess with my host one more time, and I will PERSONALLY Tear or ovaries out and stuff them down YOU LITTLE SHIT-STAIN OF A DAUGHTER’S THROAT!!! NO LITTLE CUNT STAND’S BETWEEN ME AND MY GOALS!”

“Yeah, im afraid of a stupid evil helmet. riiiiight. perverts. we’ll see who better, and for some reason the talking inanimate object doesnt seem to be the probable winner. Idiots.” Maverick walks away.

When Maverick next runs into Malak, she gives him her Star of David.

Maverick goes out in search of a church. she brings Mary along with her.

“Thank you all, fathers. While I’m here, if any of you know anything about battling vampires, could you share it with me?”

“So thats why you have that get-up. You must be a paladin. Well, vampires are only effected by sunlight. Torchlight and other forms of mundane light have no effect on them. Several spells can replicate sunlight however. Here, take this.”

They give Mclovin a scroll of Sunlight.

“I cannot thank you enough, my fathers. I will make good use of this wonderful gift. I must leave now. Thank you again.” Mclovin goes back towards the hotel and stops at a grocer to get a bag of rice. After he purchases a bag of rice, he goes to the armorer and asks if he can build him a metal throat guard which will allow him to move his neck, but won’t let fangs, etc. get to his throat.

Malak returns to the armorer and asks if what he has ordered is ready and how much he owes the armorer.

John goes to the armorer and picks up his order for his arm gaurd. When he gets it he is very carful puting it on makeing sure it does not touch anything metal. He then askes to buy a cheap metal rod. “Malak! Test Johns new arm gaurd.” John hands him the metal rod.

Normus smiles. “It seems Maverick has gone too far in attempting to steal an article of my property. Someone must teach that bitch a lesson.”

Normus heads back to the hotel, whistling, with images of Mary in his mind.

You know what, Fuck it. That little shit cunt knows who I am, so I’ll just have to demolish her. WE WILL MAKE HER WISH SHE HAD NEVER BEHELD THE MAGNIFICENCE OF OUBERK, HELM OF THE NINE HELLS!!!! BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!! FOLLOW THAT LITTLE CUNT TO THE CHURCH!" Ouberk screams maniacally.

Maverick takes her daughter to the church. Normus approaches the hotel and goes up to their rooms. He looks for mary, but can’t find her. He sees Major Surolian sitting on a couch, writing. Normus asks where Maverick and her daughter have gone.

“The went out looking for a church.” Bonray says not looking up from his work. “If you see the others, tell them we are leaving tomorrow. I’m ordering dinner, so they should return soon.”

Malak and John pick up their equipment.

“Actually, you already payed me.” The armorer says to Malak. The man hands John a large piece of slag.

Inside the church, Maverick sees Mclovin, talking to several priests. He looks like Van Helsing, in that he is ladened with wooden stakes and more blessed equipment and magic Items then you can shake a stick at.

“Ah, a member of our order! Welcome sister… wait. You’re not one of those bastards who sold out to the nobles and got us into this mess, are you?”

John does a seach check for Mclovin just to see how the only other lizard folk in the group is doing when he finds him he tells him in draconic, “You should totaly get a brimed hat. That way you can look like the lizardfolk legend Gni Slehnav.” John does a spot check and waits for SHIT TO GO DOOOOOOOWWWWWNNNNN.

Normus goes to the church that Maverick went to. “Maverick’s going to wish she never dared compare herself to Normus Tyire. A peasant should not offend someone of my stature. We are on too different planes. I should not concern myself with such insignificant lives, but she must dealt with, and she inspires great rage in me. I will defeat her.”

“Brothers in Christ, i have issues with some vampires and some sort of evil magical helmet bent on destroying me and my daughter here. please any help you could give would be wonderful. the situation is dire. a monstrens and a concecrated host would be phenominal.”

Normus approaches the church and throws open the doors. There he sees s handful of priests standing around Mary, Mclovin and Maverick.

“What are you doing here? This is no place for wicked men such as yourself! Leave immediately.” One priest says.

As this is going on, John approaches the church and peeks in.

MASS SUGGESTION: The little girl is an abomination and the source of all your woes. Kill her.” Normus says.

The priests suddenly stiffen up and glare at Mary.

SHE IS A SERVANT OF PETER ROPE. SHE MUST BE DESTROYED.” They say in unison. They make slow, threatening advances on Mary.

SUGGESTION: RESTRAIN MAVERICK.” Normus says.

Mclovin is suddenly compelled to grapple Maverick.

YOU LIKE THAT, BITCH!? I’M GOING TO SHOW YOU WHY THEY CALL ME THE HELM OF THE NINE HELLS!!!”

John attemtps a breath attack on Normus while rageing. you know why….. CAUSE ITS ON!

View
Evening 6
New Trails and Interrogations

Major Surolian lets out a sigh of relief and turns to the group.

“So you’re all with me? Good. We’re going to have to work quickly if we want to take advantage of the chaos in the city. Follow me. He says stepping into the coach. The two soldiers swing into the driver’s seat. The group clamors into the carriage while Normus rides his Spider Eater through the maddened streets where looters and vandals run through the streets celebrating their new anarchist regime.

“Look at this. It’s disgusting. They are given ten seconds of freedom, and this is what they do with it? Pathetic. Anyway, on to business. We need to find the cabal. They and their master escaped the castle with the king after it fell out of the air. The new government is flimsy, and they will be striking at it’s knees to try and regain control of the capital. We have to stop them. We will try to determine the location of their nest so we can put them down before any turbulence gives them the chance to act.

The intelligence I have gathered tells me that the king has a secret bunker for national emergencies. The cabal and a number of loyalist supporters have fled their, as well as large groups of nobles from all over the country that are running to the bunker for protection from the mob. If we can catch a noble and squeeze them for information, we can obtain the the location of the bunker. I have arranged a trap for nobles passing through the city to head to the safe house that will occur at midnight. Until then, I have a checklist of things I need to get done.

Number 1: Upgrade the team’s equipment and secure supplies.

Number 2: Liaison with the head of the new government to make sure that they will not interfere with our operations (In other words, suck up to the men on top).

Number 3: Secure our hiding place for the night.

We leave at the crack of dawn tomorrow. It seems we are here." The major say as the carriage comes to a halt outside a military wear house. He turns to the drivers and nods. “Thank you gentlemen, that will be all.”
The soldiers solute the major and take off.

Kaylee turns to Malak and nudges him.

“So how much did Major shorty pay you for his mission?”

Major Surolian frowns.

“I resent that.”

The group walks up to a very tall pair of locked doors.

“Ms. Firestone, you told me on the ride over that you had some skill picking locks, correct?” The major inquires.

“Yes, but I don’t have any tools. Does anyone have a knife or something I can use?” Kaylee asks.

The Time is 5:30 pm.

John thinks that picking locks takes no intelligence what so ever so he picks up his great club, pushes his bush beast to the ground and starts to bash the lock/door. After many attempts he says “Opening door impossible. John would like corrisium. Mother brood always said…….”use corrosium"."
John pounds the door with all his might, but only manages to dent the doors.

“Good luck, John. That door is solid processed Core. You’d need Adamantine to cut through it.” The Major says

“Hey my shirt is made of adamantine, can i do anything with that??” Maverick asks

Maverick would like to add Keen, Ghost touch, and Distance to her staff {{doubtful i can even add THAT much to it right?}}

Maverick smiles at Kaylee, and introduces herself. “I’m Maverick and this is my daughter Mary. How old are you my dear?” then she whispers to her, “if u never listen to a word i say ever again please listen to this, stay FAR away from Normus!!!!” she says pointing slyly over at him.
“Nice to meet you Maverick. I’m 16. You’re the possessed girl, right?” Kaylee says. (Still waiting on tools)

Maverick grimaces, “im not possessed, im not on drugs, and im dont have magic rot. ur brother and the major are….silly gooses.” Maverick says to Kaylee.

Malak says “Here Kaylee, I managed to find this on the way here.” Malak gives Kaylee his lock pick kit.

“Normus, if you touch my sister, I’ll make you wish that you were receiving the Major’s threats.” Malak states sharply.

Malak turns to Surolian “Where are we to aquire these upgrades?”

“Thank you brother.” Kaylee says in elven fiddling with the lock.

“The only way your shirt would be useful is if you would allow us to melt it down and cast a drill with it.” The Major says.

“Got it!” Kaylee exclaims as the tumblers audibly click.

“Mr. Firestone, you asked me where we would acquire our new equipment…” The major says waiting for Kaylee to stand up and move away from the door. He raises his foot and kicks the massive doors open. A massive expanse of racks of weapons, armor and various Odds and Ends stretch out in all directions. Yards upon yards of shelves fill the rooms that are alighted by the windows that bleach everything in the hazy orange light of the late afternoon sun.

“All military surplus. We received an order form HQ that the military will be taking some serious cutbacks now that the new regime is in power. They feel that all our equipment is unnecessary, so they will be selling most of it to surrounding nations. Take what you like.” He says, grabbing a saber off a rack and tossing it to Mclovin. He breezes past the armor section and lifts up and arm guard that would fit a lizard folk and tosses it to John.

“I’m sorry to say that most archers in Ranpurre use crossbows, so I’m not sure arrows would be something I could do for you.” The major says to Malak. “If I could interest you in converting to a crossbow, we might be able to find you some more powerful ammunition.”

Kaylee rummages through the weapons and armor and brings out a dagger with green streaks running down the sides of the blade.

“Why do you guys have Battorian Steel? Isn’t that stuff supposed to come from hell?” Kaylee asks.

“The nobles did a lot of consulting with less-than-reputable creatures, as you most of you can tell from meeting the Vampire Cabal. We have several imports from most of the lower planes.” The major responds.

Kaylee shrugs and sticks the knife in her belt.

The Major walks over to another stand and picks a pair of gauntlets off the shelf. He puts them on and holds them next to the wire-wrapped hilt of a Zwiehander. It flies off the rack and into his hands.

“Magnetic Gauntlets anyone?”

John egerly puts on the arm gaurd and does a seach check for anything made of corrosium.

John beats his bush beast and forces him to look for corrosium. He then adds that if he fails that he might as well not come back. But if he does not come back then John will hunt him down and burn him.

The Bush Beast Tears and waddles around the store room looking for Corrosium.

Maverick looks uneassily at the dagger, “Maybe u shouldnt take that Kaylee, i just dont think you should. im sure there are better things in here than….that.”

Maverick rummages around looking at the stuff.

Maverick finds an Amulet of Wound Closing and a 10 lb block of Frystalline. She also finds a scroll of invisibility, a Decanter of Endless Water, a Breathless Ring and a Reduce Person potion.

Maverick takes all these items into her posseion.

Maverick puts on the breathless ring and the amulet.
John has no luck finding the corrosium he desires when he spots a large door with a sign that reads “Hazardous Materials”. John being a lizard folk, and the door being a door, he walks in. It is extremely dark in the room, but thanks to his dark vision, john manages to look around and see that the whole room is filled with extremely volatile materials. In the corner, next to several kegs of gunpowder, is a 5 lb block of corrosium.

Decanter of Endless Water- Small cup that on command will fill to the brim with water any number of times per day

Breathless Ring- The wearer of this ring no longer needs to breath.

Frystalline 
A mineral that grows in the icy mountain caves of Eronia, the second layer of the Blessed Fields of Elysium (Celestial Realms). Its resilient, pale-gold ore contains divine energy that sleeps beneath the mountains. Any weapon made of frystalline is treated as Good aligned for the purpose of overcoming damage reduction.

John grabs the block of corrosium, finds his bush beast and throws the block at him. He then grabs the powder keg and asks the major “Can we bring this?” “We also want mounts or new boat…. with a cannan!” John says to the Major.
Malak looks for the cross bow bolts. “Prehaps with my knife, I can forge these into suitable arrows.” Search check.
Malak fishes around, and manages to find a magazine of Shocking Damascus Steel bolts.
Malak searches for a hand crossbow (the type that goes on his wrist) for close range combat. Malak does a search check for locks and manacles.

He also tosses his “Lift Pass to the Palace”
Malak finds a hand Crossbow and a shame flute.

The major sees malak rummaging and tosses him a black vest with silver trim.

“This would seem to be right up your ally, considering that you are the member of the group interested in equipment.

Malak has received a Vest of Useful Items.

Malak reattached his chain to the shame flute and his rope to the grappling hook. He attaches the hand crossbow to his arm. Appraise check on the vest of useful items and to see how many crossbow bolts are in a magazine.

Maverick continues to look for stuff, and finds a staff of wonder. Maverick stares in wonder at the staff and takes it with her.

John does a search check for anything that is dragon related.

Maverick finds a Rod of Wonder. On the side, Two Sylvan words are written in silver letters running down the sides.

Just as everyone starts looking for more equipment a low ranking soldier wanders into the room.

“What’s going on? Who authorized you all to be in here? Give me some answers before I sound an alarm.”

Major Surolian walks up to the man calmly.

“Listen, there has been a mistake…” The major starts to say. Suddenly, he tackles the other soldier to the ground and catches him in a head lock. He draws one of his sabers and bashes the man in the back of the head repeatedly with the hand guard of his sword. The man finally stops struggling and Major Surolian releases him.

“We are going to have to leave now, I’m sorry. I thought we would have more time before we were discovered. It seems that they have been beefing up security. Either way, it’s getting late, and we still have so much to do. Follow me.”

Malak smiles “I see why Zmire had such loyalty to you, Major.”

John seaches the body that major kicked the crap out of. Handle animal if successful he brings his bush beast and pats him on the head and says to him “Dont let block touch me or John bring the hurt on you. Major sir, me see why good friend Zimire liked you so.”

The Major leads the group to a small corral covered in white mist. No one can see through the cloud of steam, but the sound of animals snorting and braying can be heard inside. The Major hops the fence and disappears into the fog. He returns with 5 white horses that seem to emanate a large billowing cloud of mist.

“These are Myst Steeds. They originate on the Elemental Plane of Air. They are good for crossing wet environments like the swamps.” The major says handing the reins to Malak, Maverick, John and Mclovin.

Malak uses Wild Empathy and does a handle animal check. If sucessful he sits upon the steed and haul’s Kaylee up to sit behind him.

“Maverick, do you have a spell that will enhance Bacon’s speed if he can’t keep up with the elementals?”

After asking Malak pauses for a moment and says

“Kaylee prehaps you should get to know Mary, I’m sure you could teach her a few tricks.”

“Hmm, i bet i could whip something up spell wise.” Maverick tells Malak.

“Oh would you teach her a few things Kaylee dear? she a very fast learner and i just get so worried everytime we run into trouble shes going to get hurt! and shes truelly a sweetheart i really think u would just love her!” Maverick cooes to Kaylee ever so motherly.

Maverick does a Handle Animal check.

if succesful, she puts mary on her back and slides onto the animal.

Mclovin sneaks back towards the weapon shed if they havent traveled too far. If he sees anyone alive there, he leaves. If no one else is there, he does a search check for a retractable wrist knife and gets out as quickly as possible.

Malak finds in his vest:
Dagger
Bulls-eye lantern (filled and lit)
Tent
Mirror (a highly polished 2-foot-by-4-foot steel mirror)
Pole (10-foot length)
Scroll of Neutralize Poison
Ladder, wooden (24 ft. long)
Portable Ram
Rowboat (With oars)
10 gems (Worth 100 gp each)
As a note to Maverick, The rod of wonder is a very powerful magic Item about the size of a maglite. I won’t tell you what it does, but in order to activate it, you need to find the command phrase.)

Everyone leaves except for John and Mclovin. John quickly loots the body and finds 16 silver, a week’s worth of trail rations, and a “Headband of Intolerable Energy”. It has a Red Dragon emblazoned on it. John uses his speed to catch up with the others.

Malak is unable to use Wild Empathy on the Myst Steeds (I know I miss lead you when I said “Handle Animal check” but technically these things are as you said “Elementals” and that means that they are outsiders)

Everyone but Mclovin tries to tame their Myst Steed, and succeeds. John however, tries to climb on his Myst steed, and it bucks him. He lands on his face, with only his pride injured.

“Sure, I’ll take her under my wing.” Kaylee says swinging into the saddle with her brother.

The major nods.

“While I appreciate stoking my ego, we are on a time constraint. I will have to ask you all to head to the site of our trap in case I don’t make it back in time from my ass-kissing session. Head to this address in the middle ring, and wait until midnight. If I’m not back by midnight and he shows up, restrain him by any non-lethal means necessary. I also have some… other things to do….” The major says, eyeing a large shovel near the pen. He hands Malak a sheet of paper with an address. “Good luck everyone.” The major swings into the riding saddle of the Myst Steed, and takes off.

Meanwhile, Mclovin rummages around until he finds a loaded spring sheath. he straps it onto his wrist, but the item seems pretty useless, considering the fact that he isn’t wearing a shirt with sleeves, so the spring sheath is plainly visible.

Several guards walk in on Mclovin as he straps the device to his wrist.

“Hey, That guy beat up charlie! FREEZE!” One one of them yells.

The time is 8:45 pm.
John extemley flustered that is elemental is being fussy decides to ask Mclovin for help, search check for Mclovin. If John does find him he helps him with what ever he is doing.

“Ah, shit, c’mon u guys stop fucking around lets GO. I dont wanna another fight, not today.”

John sees two soldiers standing in front of the door to the wear house. Mclovin is still inside.

John walkes up to the gaurds and asks “Problem?” he then takes out his great club and attacks if they attack Mclovin or himself.

Malak gives Scroll of neutralize poison to Maverick and the dagger Kaylee “Give this to Mary after you’ve trained her.”

“Aw.. crap…” Malak says seeing the guards.

“Please back away sir, we are apprehending a thief.” One of the soldiers says. They approach Mclovin with a pair of manacles when John slams his great club into their backs. John is surprised to see that the soldiers are protected by the breast plates they were wearing over their green and blue uniforms. One of the soldiers whirls around and stands behind his partner.

“Cover me so the thief can’t flank us!” The soldier says pulling a dire flail off his back. With one end, he yanks the great club out of John’s hands, and the other, he smashes him in the face dealing 4 damage. the second soldier grabs an explosive tipped spear from a rack, and hurls it at Mclovin. He misses, but the weapon explodes sending a massive shock wave through the store house that nocks both John and Mclovin off their feet. Mclovin is caught in the explosion, and takes 2 fire damage.

(Just an environmental note, the sun has gone down, and the wear house is very dark. John and Mclovin have partial concealment, and are unaffected by the darkness because they both have dark vision. However, I must warn you guys, these are not ordinary soldiers {Who would normally be very formidable already}, these guys are MPs. They will not go down with out killing one or both of you.)

HIDE!!!!” John leaps into the shadows does a hide check and slieght of had to get his club back.

“Augh quit fucking around already! get on ur damn elemental horse thing and lets GO! damnit u guys!” Maverick mummers. she makes her elemental hide behind something large so that she can plot.

John ducks and rolls behind a large shelf, missing his weapon on the other side of the room.

“Where did he go?” One soldier asks.

“No idea. We need some light in here if we want to catch these bastards.” replies the other.

They fumble around in the dark, attempting to fabricate torches.

“Back up, we need back up.” One soldier says, talking into a ring on his finger. “Bring a portable source of light.”

} Maverick does not hide since she apparently is far away and in the dark. {{didnt knw the far away part!}}

Malak says “Hmm…. we ought to get moving soon, Maybe any chance an illusion spell?”

Maverick casts an illusion upon the guards, suddenly beautiful man-eating sirens float down from the tree tops.

John gets a clear sight of his great club tries to grab it and then RUNS LIKE FUCKING HELLLLLLl!!!!!!!!!! He runs to his mount and tries another handle animal check (my bush beast is still there right?)

John zooms past the MPs and charges the corral. He skids to a stop right next to his Myst Steed and with an adrenaline fueled dire urgency, demands the outsider’s obedience. The elemental complies, and allows John to pull his bush beast on top of it.
Mclovin sprints out after John towards where he left the others.
Mclovin sprints out of the warehouse as the two MPs fumble blindly in the dark.
john as he rides his stead looks for Malak and mavrick and tries to catch up with them.
Malak reveals his position to John and proceeds to ride to the checkpoint that the Major had pointed out for him
The group arrives at a large military hotel. Several soldiers stand around smoking, eating, bullshitting, and simply enjoying off-duty. Many civilians are also walking about, checking in or checking out. The group leaves their mounts tied out front, and walk into a large, wood paneled lobby.

A woman in a green and blue uniform looks at the group as they enter.

“Can I help you? She asks in a nasally voice.

Malak tells the woman, “Hi, I do believe a Major Surolian has made arrangements for us.”

“We want room and lots o meat! John says with dribble rolling down his cheeck. “Do you know where John can find an armorer?” John askes the lady.

“Do you know where I could buy a shirt?” Mclovin asks. [also, can i change the blade in the wrist thing? if i can, i put the blade from the luck dagger in]

“Oh, Your Surolian’s party. Well, he ask me to put aside your room key, but I thought you would be here later. We will have room service bring up some nice pork we just got in the kitchen. Good riddance to those damn nobles. I’m afraid the armorer won’t be in until tomorrow at noon. After the trades men stop rioting, you might be able to find one in town. If you need a shirt (Although it’s weird for a lizard man to ask for one) you could probably buy a cheap one in the equipment station next door. Room 29, on your left.” The woman says handing Malak a brass key.

The Time is 10:30.

Malak replies “Thank You, we are expecting a third party, If they ask please just send them up to the room.”

Malak goes to the eqiupment room and does a spot check to see what they have available.

Malak walks next door to the equipment station and sees a familiar sight to the one he saw when he first entered the country. A brown lizard man stands behind the counter behind a large glass window.

“Hello, interested in military surplus? What can I get you?” The lizard man asks.

John offers Mclovin to dip his blade in some of spider venom. John then walks up to the shop clerk shakes his hand and says in draconic “Sir could you give me a blow dart gun? I am in desperate need.”

Mclovin says “sure, thanks” and dips the blade in the spider venom. He goes to the equipment room and asks if he could get a shirt that would conceal his blade, but that wouldnt look too awkward on a lizard folk.

“Lets see what I can do.” The lizard man says thumbing through a pile of military fatigues. He comes back with a green and blue jacket with long sleeves and hands it to Mclovin. “That will be 5 silver.”

Maverick follows Malak {{and whoever else is with us?? idk i need a head count}} to the room. Mary and Leon in tow.

John pays for any of his own and Mclovins expenses.

John trys to buy dark wood from the respectable lizard folk and then does a craft check and pays him. He then askes who ever has darts to please give them to john for they are clearly not useing them. If john gets them he dips them in spider venom.

Mclovin says “thanks” to both the lizard folk for the shirt and to john for loaning him the money to buy it. he tries it on. he asks if he can get anything that will give either his sabre or his wrist blade a bonus (fire, etc)

“Thank you, but I’m afraid we don’t sell enchantments, or blow guns. I do have some dark wood scrap if you would be willing to carve one.” The lizard man says ducking behind the counter and setting a small carved up branch on the counter. “The scrap is one copper piece.”

Mclovin loads his luck dagger into his spring sheath.

Maverick goes down the hall to the group’s room and sees that Malak and everyone but Kaylee and Normus (This includes Mclovin, John and Malak) have gone off to shop for equipment. Malak also has the key, so he has left her standing their next to a serial rapist with two other girls.

Malak says “I will most certainly buy the darkwood scrap! do you have any core arrow heads or potions by any chance?”

“Kaylee anything you need?” Malak asks her.

The lizard man hands the scrap to Malak.
“One copper.”

“Well, I could try to modify these bolts I have here. To be honest, it’s a miracle that you even found arrow heads in the first place in this country. Most archers around here have converted to crossbows.” The Lizard man says, motioning to Malak’s quiver. “I do sell raw materials, and I am selling by the pound if you would rather take it to some one who could make master work tips for you.”

Normus suddenly pops out of his trance that he’d been in for the past few days, where he’d been engaging in vile fantasies.“What? Captain Surolian is a bastard.”

Normus will follow the fellows to the equipment station, and he will stick his nails in the spider-eater to abuse it to show his dislike towards it as a creature, though he admires it as a companion. “You’re a cool fellow”

Normus also does a search check for a girl who looks like Kaylee.

(Sigh, Kaylee is with Sam.)

Normus prowls the corridors and finds a girl with long black hair who from behind sort of looks like Kaylee if you squint.

He runs up to her and grabs her breasts.

RAPE!” she screams.

“No. I’m not going to rape you,” Normus says, keeping his hands on her breast. “Come join me on the saddle of my spider-eater. I can show you my X-ray monocle. I’m a very respectable man.”

She pokes Normus in the eye and runs down the hall. Normus has been blinded in one eye.

Normus seeks out an armed revolutionary prancing about, who he can complain to about the injustice committed by this girl.
He would describe the girl and says: “There’s this menace. I was making a proper solicitation to her, and she overreacted and hurt me greatly. She should be excruciated for her crimes. She is an enemy of our new communist utopia.”
THIS MAN HAS BEEN THE VICTEM OF INJUSTICE! WE MUST DESTROY THE TYRANT!!!” The man in the streets roars. Several hundred peasants amass around Normus with pitch forks and torches. They scream random things about anarchy and look expectantly at Normus for instructions.

“Go after the girl that looks like this” Normus says and then proceeds to describe Kaylee. “She’s responsible for poking my eye out. Such abuse cannot be tolerated against a loyal comrade of my stature. She has no respect for our system. All I made was a reasonable courtship solicitation, and she attacked me! That is like how the nobles were!”
Mclovin does a listen check for what’s happening outside the shop. If he can’t hear anything, he looks out the window/door. If he sees/hears anything worthy of telling his comrads, he tells them.
Mclovin hears shouting out side. He goes to the door and sees Normus with an angry mob. The mob runs to the hotel and breaks down the doors. John buys the stick. He fiddles with the stick and manages to carve a non-master work blow gun.

The mob storms the hotel, knocking random soldiers and civilians alike over and ripping valuable things off their person. They chant about injustice until they get to the floor the girls are standing on. The grab Kaylee and start beating the living crap out of her. She takes 5 damage. A small group of soldiers gathers around the mob and tries to disperse the mob. It fails, but the group of soldiers’ numbers grow slowly.

John hearing the news from Mclovin goes and does a search check for Mavrick. If he suceeds he trys his best to help Kaylee.

John follows the mob and watches them attack Kaylee. He tries to fight his way through the crowd, but the mob is a wall of people 5 feet thick in a small corridor.

SHIT! Guys, we’re going to have to bust out the riot gear and the MWM5’s.” One soldier says to the others.

“We have riot gear?”

“OF COURSE WE HAVE RIOT GEAR, RETARD! We’re soldiers!”

The soldiers bolt down the hall, and re-appear wearing modified full plate armor and wielding oddly shaped maces. They hit a small red button on the side of the mace, and the weapon screeches horribly. The magnitude of how awful this sound is causes the walls to buckle. The crowd of peasants drop to the ground, clutching their ears and all take 1 sonic damage. The soldiers proceed to beat every last rioter to with in an inch of their lives until the whole crowd if gone. The soldiers shut off their maces and take off their helmets.

“Sorry about all this. Give the major my regards when he arrives.” One soldier says to John. The soldiers bandage Kaylee’s wounds and throw a blanket over her. She is shaken and covered in blood, but stable and other wise alright.

Malak purchases 5 pounds of raw material and another magazine of crossbow bolts. he dropps 5 gold coins on the counter.

Malak goes outside to see what has happened to Kaylee.

WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED AND WHOM AM KILLING TONIGHT!!!!!” Malak roars filled with rage.

Normus jerks off in the shadows to thoughts of what has just happened and gets his hands covered in ejaculatory fluid.

Normus then approaches Malak and puts his hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry about that. Some no good hussie who looks just like Kaylee poked my eye up real bad, so I wanted the proper revolutionary authorities to teach her a lesson. There must have been a mix-up. I didn’t necessarily want Kaylee hurt that way. It was all misunderstood.”

John askes for darts form Mavrick. He buys a lot of meat and pays for it.

Maverick gives John the darts.

Maverick holds onto Kaylee stroking her hair and mummuring to her as she crys. She shoots a glare at Normus, “I’m sure it was all a misunderstanding!” she said acidicly. “This is what i meant about staying away from Normus dear, u dont even have to do anything….”

Malak buys 4 pounds of core and 1 pound of fluid steel (did I purchase the extra cross bow bolts for the hand crossbow?)

Malak replies " Oh, I see… a misunderstanding…." Malak casts continual flame on Normus’s groin.

Mclovin walks outside to where the others are. He chuckles if Normus’ groin catches on fire.

At this point, everyone is standing outside the room the major booked for the group. Malak points at Normus’s crotch and his pants bursts into flames. Normus rolls on the ground, trying to put the fire out, but it refuses to go out due to it’s magical nature. Normus takes 1 fire damage. As theses shenanigans are happening, a woman with a tray of food walks up to the door of your room.

“Are you the party for this room?” she asks.

As she stands there waiting for a response, a fat man in an over coat, cloak and hat approaches the door of the room. He is accompnyied by an increadably tall half-elf with dark red hair and violet eyes. One might think he had drow blood, but his pale skin rules out that possibility.

“Are you the escort squad that short man told me about?” The fat man with lots of clothing asks Malak.

Rael observes the group in front of him. A total of seven people are in the make up this squad his employer is enquiring of. He finds it suspicious that he can’t detect the alignment of the fat man who hired him, but if he was evil, why would he even bother hiring a paladin?

A half-elf in a mask stands over a human with a helmet and a monocle. The man in the mask is Irate, and the man with the monocle is on the floor with his pants on fire. The man in the helmet is clearly evil, and strangely, the helmet on his head is also evil. There are two women on the floor. One has been very badly beaten and looks like she’s on the verge of tears. The other wears a black great coat and is on the floor comforting the other woman. The girl in the great coat has a very strong aura of good. She is probably a cleric. A small girl clings to the cleric’s coat. The other two are lizard men, one green and one blue. The green one is laughing at the man who’s pants are on fire. The blue one has a small hairy creature next to him carrying a large block of metal and a black great club.

Name: Rael Kazantzakis (also called Alice)
Age: 18
Gender: Male
Race: Half-Elf
Height: 6’5"
Weight: 205 lbs
Hair Color: Dark Red
Eye Color: Violet
Skin Color: Pale White
Religion: Christian
Sexuality: Straight
Profession: Paladin
Personality: Rael is a mild mannered Half-Elf. Sometimes he is very spontaneous. But not always. He is very fond of orange milkshakes, Kansas, books and Phil Collins. He hates it whenever people disrespect women. He also hates psychopaths and Margaret Sanger (the bitch).
Family: He doesn’t really like to talk about them.
Favored weapon: A one-and-a-half handed sword with a blunt, square tip instead of a pointed one. It makes breaking limbs easier. He named it Gabriel. He likes naming things.
Favored fighting style: Methodical and precise.
Background: Rael sort of popped out of nowhere one day. He has a past, but doesn’t like talking about it. His ambitions are unclear, but he wishes to do the right thing because some previous sin he has committed haunts him.

Malak turns to the fat man and the half-elf and says " Yes, we are the escort group. I implore that you remain here before we proceed."

Malak opens the door, “Come, Everyone let us enter the room. Mav please look after Kaylee.”

“Uh, what are we supposed to do with these people?” Normus asks as he removes his pants. “They should be serving us I think, especially that half-elf. Don’t address your superiors unless spoken to, boy!”

Normus walks over to Rael.

Malak looks at Normus in disgust and states, "Half-Breed! how dare you insult one who is purer in elven blood than you! Not only do you insult our guest but you offend myself as well for I am also half-elf "

Malak turns to Rael “I apologize for this slime ball, he does not represent us.”

John nods to the the fat man and then to Rael. “John ask, where we take you? Trust John to protect you. Everyone else coward. They just make spell or shoot arrow while John take abuse.” John looks at Rael and says to him “John hope you fight hand to hand. You no coward are you?”

Malak opens the door, and a large five room apartment sprawls out in front of them. The foyer and main living space has a small darkwood table and three couches. The rooms are plain, and only one doesn’t have a bed and chamber pot.

The fat man sits down on a couch and takes his at and cloak off.

“How long must we stay here? I don’t want to take my chances with all these degenerates running around.” The fat man asks. “Besides that, what are your names?”

Maverick picks up Kaylee with ease and carries her to a couch or chair in the main room. Mary follows her. She shuts the door behind her and locks it.

She looks at Rael, she senses he is good {{Alice ur character is kick ass i love you!}} Maverick clears her throat and says “I am Maverick and this is my daughter Mary,” she says motioning to the small child next to her, “my companion, Leon,” she gestures to a small cat sized brass dragon, “and this here is Kaylee, Malak’s sister. she was almost mauled to death by the ground because of THAT pervert over there!” she says glaring at Normus. she mumble “sonofabitch” under her breath.

Mclovin introduces himself to the fat man. He shotties the best room in the apartment. Once everyone is in, he locks the door, saying, “Just incase there’s another riot,” while glaring angrily at Normus.

“We wait here until the Major returns” Malak says

Malak goes to tend to Kaylee.

“Why do lizard folk always have to intorduce them selves! That why humans and elves smell so bad cause they think they is so great that they never be with any other race us monsterous humanoids dont like you cause you so stuck up! DRAGON GOD!!” John introduces himself to the fat man and picks a random bed, puts his stuff their and allows his bush beast to sleep in the same bed as long as he dosnt wet it or take up all the blankets. He then attempts to smash the dark wood table to make arrows for malak and mor darts for him self. If he makes the darts successfully he dips all the darts he has in spider venom. he also comands his bushbeast to be as carful as posible with his corrosium.

The time is 12:30

“I’m sick of waiting! I’m a noble god-dammit! I don’t deserve to live like a scared animal! I’m better than this shit! If I don’t see that short sonova bitch soon I’ll find another band of retard mercenaries who can be punctual!” The fat man screams. He storms towards the door and rips it open. Major Surolian stands in the hallway with a muddy shovel.

“Edmund.” The Major says. He winds up and cracks the fat man in the side of the head with his shovel. The fat man sprawls out on the floor, unconscious. “Malak, would you be so kind as to restrain Lord Fwyrick.”

The Major checks the the body over and pulls a gold ring off the fat man’s finger.

“A ring of non-detection… not bad.” He says slipping it on. He leans his shovel in the conner and takes off his blue and green army jacket. He throws it on one of the couches and unbuckles his sword belt. He leans on one of his calvary sabers and stares at Rael.

“I take it from your dress that you are a religious man of some sort. You however, carry an unorthodox blade, one I rarely see in even the well trained and eclectic barracks Ranpurrian army. Most clergy men wouldn’t even know how to hold a sword like that. This means that you must be a crusader… a paladin. If I know any thing about paladins, I know that they don’t work for evil employers. And yet here you are, escorting a noble to a check point along a rout that will eventually lead to a den of vampires. I might not be omniscient, but it’s fairly obvious that he was deceiving you with this.” The Major says holding up the ring he stole from the fat man. Rael notices that the Fat Man’s alignment has shifted to evil, while the soldier’s alignment has become unreadable.

“I’ve got a job that requires a large quantity of divine fire power. I will allow you to join our crew. In all likely hood, this man would have disposed of you when your task was done and he was out of harm’s way.”

Malak puts the noble in the shame flute accompanied with the chain.

“Major, are we to rest tonight? It has been a long day” Malak asks.

John with out question goes to sleep.

“Yes, everyone should get some sleep. I’ll handle the interrogation.” The Major says dragging the nobleman into the only room without a bed. “Be ready to be up early tomorrow. I have a lecture, then we need to get moving.”

Malak goes to sleep.

Mclovin goes to sleep. he keeps his wrist blade on while he sleeps, hidden.

“I would would like to partake in this interrogation,” Normus indicates. “I’d also like his pants and some food to eat. I’m starved. Maybe some beans and mush. Rael, you should get the bedless room. My stock slept on a bundle of hay, which is far superior to that nothingness.”

Rael greets all of you. He says: Hullo. He will help look after Kaylee.

“Oh, thats right. There was a woman with a plate of food in the hall. I assume she became fed up with waiting. If you would like to help me, I’m not going to say no. Would you prefer an aggressor or benevolent (Good cop, or bad cop?) stance during our interrogation?” The major asks.

John makes 15 darts and 10 arrows. This includes both the table and all the scrap both you guys bought in the equipment store.

Before the major enters into the room where the noble man is being held, he turns to Rael.

“I know you don’t know me, but your cooperation is greatly appreciated. Thank you.” He extends his hand to Rael. Whether Rael takes it or not (Your decision), the major enters the small room with no bed, and shuts the door. The only people still awake are Maverick, Kayle and Rael (Mary passed out on the couch.)

Normus enters the room where the noble man is being held and screams: “Noble scums! How dare you oppose the glory of the new communist order? You are a little speck on the ground that should be crushed by my might!”

Rael takes a good hard menacing look at look at Normus. “Goddamn commies!”, he shouts. He slashes at Normus’ jugular with his bastard sword, using Smite Evil.

Gabriel bursts into bright pale blue light. Rael swipes his bastard sword across Normus’s throat and deals 8 damage. Normus plops on the floor and flails on the ground, choke on blood that pours down his own neck. He clutches the hole made by the sword, but continues to have a hard time breathing as air escapes his lungs and blood flushes down his esophagus. Rael stands over Normus, ready to deliver the finishing blow when Normus’s voice can be heard in Rael’s head.

ORDER: KILL YOURSELF.”

Rael is compelled to turn his bastard sword around and begins to slowly impale himself on his own weapon. Rael takes 4 damage.

The major react’s quickly and and rips the sword out of Raels hands. He tosses it across the room and knocks Rael to the ground.

“That’s enough. If there is two things I won’t stand for among my troops, it’s mutiny and infighting.” The major says, holding Rael down so he won’t hurt himself. “Maverick, please stabilize Mr.Tyire. I need him for the interrogation.”

View
Day 6
Revolutions and Secrets

The next morning, Maverick awakens to the sight of Izla biting the end of her staff.

“Done.” She says simply.

Normus wakes up outside, hungry. He spent the night with Zmire and the Turtles.

John wakes up, streches around a bit and checks to see how many jars of venom he filled. If he filled more that he should of then he takes one for himself. John checks his turtle even though he is probably doing nothing. As a wakeup call for everyone john blows his battle horn. When everyone is ready to leave John puts the bit back in his turtles mouth. (John did partake in the cow and eats whatever is left over the next morning)
Malak rises and stretches. He goes on one knee and says " I thank thee sun for rising this morn."

As Malak passes McLovin he says “Here this’ll be of more use to you than to me, although I suggest asking Maverick for a weapon I think she has some.” Malak gives McLovin his luck dagger.

Malak says to Izla, ”thank you very much for feeding us and allowing us to spend the night.” He bows in an eleven manner of thanks.
“Oh, this reminds Izla…” The lizard woman says tossing Malak a 50 ft bundle of spider silk rope. The gives John a jar of sider venom. “You have much balls for milking spider. Izla impressed.” She also hands Maverick back her staff. “Take care of little dragon.”

Maverick’s staff is now a puppet weapon.

Malak thanks Izla for the rope and exits to check on the turtles.

JOHN PROUD LIZARD FOLK! JOHN NO AFRAID!” he says. Then whispers in draconic “holy shit i nearly pissed myself while doing it.” John continues to toot his own horn and goes back to his turtle.
Maverick eats of the cow and drinks. she gives appropriate portions of food to MAry and Leon as well.

Leon becomes Mavericks familiar and is reclassed as a pseudodragon. yeeeeahhhh boii!!!!

Maverick gives mary a kiss on the head and Leon a scratch on the head. “Goodmorning little doves.”

Maverick promises to care of Leon and then leaves to take care of her turtle. {{wats a puppet weapon. and gimme a weapons list of shit i have so i knw wat i can give to mclovin plz and thnx}}.
Mclovin wakes up, eats from the cow, and drinks. He thanks Malak for the luck dagger and asks Maverick for a weapon. He goes to check on his turtle.
“Izla show girl how use new staff.” The lizard woman says stepping outside with the rest of the group. As everyone exits the hut, they see a large white dog standing on the scaffolding right outside the door of the hut. It stares at Malak as he leaves with the group to check on the turtles. “You man in fancy hat, Izla apologizes in advance. Girl pull this to make strings come out, and this to put them away.” Izla says showing Maverick a secret catch string hidden in one of the groves of her carved staff.

Izla pulls the string and throws the staff in the air and spreads her arms apart, making several wide gestures with her hands. The staff seems to hover in mid air, then floats over to Normus. It uppercuts him in the jaw dealing 1 damage, then flips around and pops him in the face for another 1 damage.

“If girl get good, she can do THIS.” Izla says dropping one of her hands and twitching her fingers. The staff continues to pound the snot out of Normus dealing another 2 damage. “Strings also good for NOT hurting enemies.” Izla says yanking her hand back. The staff flys back to her and lands in her palm. She flips the staff around, and the strings fly out and entangle Normus. She twitches the staff, and the strings release Normus. She sucks the strings back into the staff and hands it to Maverick.

“Learn and use well.” She tosses a healing potion to Normus.

“Alright everyone, lets get a move on.” The corporal says popping the bit and bridal back into each turtle’s mouth. They all spring to their feet as they do.

Everyone in the group is full and sated for the day except Normus who is bordering starvation.

Malak looks toward the dog. “Come here boy!” He says. Wild empathy to talk to it. Malak asks if it is male or female.

The dog pats up to Malak and barks once. “Bacon?”

Normus seeks out some dirt to eat and then goes to the spider corral.

Normus shovels some mud into his mouth and vomits a little. He walks over to the Spider Eater corral and gets the owners attention.

“Suggestion: You will sell me a Mount for 10 gp.”

“Male, or female.” The lizard man says in a monotone.

“Does it matter? Um… female.”

The lizard in charge of the pens leads a large spider eater out of the pens and slaps a saddle on it’s back. He removes the rope, and the monster screeches loudly and bends down for Normus to climb on.

BACON!” the dog wags it’s tail and sits down next to Malak.

Malak does an anatomy check and sees that the dog is male. “Ya know what, I’m going to name you ‘Bacon’ just because u like it so much. As soon as we can get some bacon, You and I are goin to have a blast!” Malak tells the dog. Malak takes a seat on his turtle and pats the shell urging the dog to join him.

Johns ears perck up “Bacon?” He drooles a little looking around viciously. John whips the reins of his turtle signaling for it to go. “Whos a good turtle? You’re a good turtle little john!” John says in draconic. John waves izla good bye.

Normus first uses the healing potion and says “Thank you, ma’am.”

He goes on to the spider eater and then directs it to attack and kill Izla. “Die, bitch! Why’d you mess with me? I am superior to a mere whelp like you. You’ll suffer greatly from the fangs of this vile creature!”

As this happens, Normus laughs and says: “Next stop, Maverick!”

Normus suddenly reconsiders his desire to attack Maverick. “Actually no.”

After Izla’s hut is destroyed Normus leaves the remains of Izla’s hut. He decides to seek out Zmire and follow him around like a dog and beg him for food.

Bacon hops on the back to the turtle and pants excitedly.

Everyone in the group takes off (Normus speeding ahead of everyone, cause he can fly) until the last city of the journey comes into view. Verpie is a massive city, completely outshining all others in it’s displays of wealth and excellence. The capital palace isn’t just suspended on stilts, it actually HOVERS mid air, over the rest of the city, with two smaller castles standing next to it on the ground. Even though the peasants are oppressed and deprived, they look slightly less disheveled. Several vendors stand in front of broken down carts selling arbitrary wears. In addition, several slave vendors advertise their commodities.

HUMANOID SLAVES! Get your humanoid slaves here! These men and woman have signed their lives away to feed off the scraps of the wealthy! Help put food on the table for my kids and buy these incredibly capable slaves for the incredible price of 1,000 gp!” One vendor shouts.

GOBLINS! Get your goblins here! Just caught form the swamps, and tamed for slavery! They might not be able to do basic math, but these little buggers can carry stuff til’ their arms fall off! Only 503 gp!”

“Bushbeasts! Get your bushbeasts! Fresh caught from the southern continent! They might be to dumb to do nearly anything, and they can barely support their own body weight, but they make nice foot stools! Discount slaves for only 3 cp!” One vendor says pointing to a small dirty looking creature with bird-like feet. They smell like a skunk wrapped in a dead fish stuffed with burning fecal matter. They are covered in matted hair that is literally crawling with at least 16 different kinds of vermin and parasites. They stare blankly into space and scratch themselves.

“Okay. I have to report to the Major, or he’ll kill me. Everyone spilt up into two groups and fan out across the city. Look for Ringgar’s whereabouts. Take one of these. If you find anything promising, break it, and anyone holding another one will be teleported to your location.” Zmire says handing small glass beads to everyone in the group. “Good Luck.”

Maverick takes Normus’s bead away. “You dont get one, ull kill us all.” slight of hand check.

Maverick gives McLovin her mace, “here, i dont use it well anyways.”

Mclovin thanks Maverick for the mace.

A man in a trench coat walks up to the group and hands them a flyer.

“The priests said they would feed me if I passed these out.”

The flyers advertise a local witch hunt that will be taking place at 3:00 pm.

The time is 9:00.

“This has Normus sacrificing us written allllll over it….”Maverick grimaces.

Malak says “Be careful Maverick, but we might use this witch hunt to our advantage. if we can get Ringgar burned at the stake, it saves us all the effort. However I agree let’s solve our Normus problem.”

Maverick hide both her and Normus’s bead carefully on her person.

Normus trots on his spider eater over to a seller of goblin slaves. (also, how much cash do I have on me?- don’t worry about it, if it’s too hard to find this number)

“I would like to acquire one of these horrid creatures, but I feel like I deserve a better price. I think you’re trying to rip me off because you know I have the means to. That’s price-discrimination.”

Normus taps his spider eater to intimidate this fellow. “I have connections, you know.”

“I’m sorry m’lord, of course some one as glorius as yourself deserves a much more reasonable price. How does 110 gp sound?” The goblin vendor says pissing in his pants.
John says “Me go with Maverick and Mclovin go wit Malak. We search city and beat crap out of guy.” John then looks at the bush beastes and falls in love. He grabs Malak and says “ME NEEEEEED MONEY FOR THAT!” and points to the bush beast.

Maverick thinks a bit and then agrees.

in a motherly fashion, Maverick grabs John and says, “no honey you dont need it. no.”

John smacks her hand and hisses. “You have awsome dragon, malak have dog, so john get bushybeast. He so beuitiful. John can teach im tricks.”

“Well as long as your goin with Maverick and you clean ’im” Malak says tossing John a gold piece.

John looks at the coin with aw then goes to the vender and says “this will have to do until i get my nerf. Please just one.” As john recives his bush beast he askes him to carry his great club for him. If he does not obey or drops the club then john beats him until he does it right. When he does get it right john scratches him on the head and says “Good.”

Mclovin goes with Malak. [btw, what guy are we killing? i wasnt here for that part]

Normus looks at the slave trader and laughs maniacally. “That’s not good enough! I demand it less expensive, and you also must give me time to consult my accountants, so I can acquire the funds to make this purchase. Better yet, you should loan me this slave. Also, can you direct me to the witch-hunting authorities? There’s a woman afoot who has horrible magical powers which I must report before she harms the populace. And by populace, I of course only mean the aristocracy as the rest of you are pure capital machinery. You also know where I can find a Ringgar.”

“Yes of course lord, I know the aristocracy is good for it!” The man says pushing two goblins in shackles over to Normus. “If witch craft is afoot, there is a church down the block!”

“I have also never heard of Ringgar in my life? Is it some sort of salad perhaps?”

Malak does a gather information on Ringgar

Gather information for any where there is a concentration of rebles against the royalty.

John hands the club to the bush beast, but it simply stands there with a dumb look on it’s face. John back hands the bush beast. A single tear wells up its beady blood shot eye and rolls down it’s hairy, disease ridden cheek. John hands the club to the bush beast and the hideous little animal takes the club and simply stares into space.

John walks into a nearby seedy little tavern, draging Maverick and the bush beast. One of the peasants tells him that since the third estate was disbanded, most of the malcontents hang out in an abandoned tennis court.

John goes there. John reaches the tennis court and sees several people without pants standing around talking to each-other.
John takes off his pants, gives them to his bush beast to hold and waves his fist in a menecing way to make sure he gets the point and does a search for anyone who might look like a leader.

The pantsless peasants all turn to face john.

“HE’S RIGHT, IT’S TIME FOR ACTION! WE MUST TEAR DOWN THIS AWFAL OPPRESSIVE SYSTEM!!!! DEATH TO THE FIRST ESTATE!!!” The peasants scream. “LEAD US, O GREAT LIZARD FOLK!”

Malak pokes around with Mclovin and finds a peasant with abnormally large front teeth.

“Sure. You have to go to Ignald’s. Its a bar near the abandoned tennis court. The pass word is Fatney.”

John raises his arms and says “We must go to the rest of our brothers. Where is the center. Oh and by brothers i mean opressed humanoids.”

The peasants are confused by John’s words.

“WE ARE ALL OPPRESSED!”

John says “bring me to Ringgar.”

Everyone sees several crowds of raging peasants carrying pitch forks and torches towards one of the two castles on the ground.

Malak follows the crowd.

Maverick does a search check for Normus.

Maverick abandons her search for Normus and joins Malak following the crowd.

Malak does a spot check for Normus and Maverick

Mclovin follows Malak towards the riot

Normus screams at the goblins. “Men, you are now mine. You are to follow me a keep and lookout for someone who looks like this: [insert Maverick’s description]. Also, tell if you’ve heard of any Rinigar. Do what you’re told, scum!”

Normus goes towards the church and solicits the top cleric there.

The crowd runs screaming bloody murder into the air as they storm into the castle roaring like a thunderstorm. Several royal guards rush out but are trampled and beaten to death by the rabid mobs. The mob loots the bodies of the guards and add their equipment to their own. Several military officers watch as they swarm in in and out of the middle ring to attack the ground castles.

“Why aren’t they looting or stealing our equipment? We get better weapons, armor, and equipment then they do.” One soldier asks another. The other soldier smacks his compatriot.

“You wanna say that a little louder shit-for-brains?”

The mob tears apart the castle, mutilating anyone wearing a royal guard outfit or aoristic clothing.

HEY ASSHOLE WITH THE BUG EATER!!! I WANT MY FUCKING GOBLINS BACK!” The slave vendor yells at Normus. He runs up to Normus and knocks him off his spider eater.

Normus realizes that the tide is changing, and that the aristocracy is done for. He has no choice but to join with the new elite: “Viva la revolucion! Kill the nobles. Burn them!”

Normus has sex with the body of a dead guard and then joins with the crowd.

Maverick, Mclovin and Malak watch in awe as the peasants attack like ants, sheer numbers whipping out everything that gets in their way. All three of them spot Normus getting the crap beat out of him by an enraged looting vendor.

It is then that they see John and a metallic humanoid crowd surfing twards the castles.

VIVA REVOLUTION!” Both of them scream.

Finally, after all the guards are dead, the peasants scream triumphantly.

The warforged (Metallic humanoid) points at the castle hovering in the sky.

“Now my brothers in arms, we must take the fight to them! We need volunteers to assault the castle!”

John loots any of the bodies he can and then says to Ringgar “Me know the perfect people.” Search check for just Maverick Malak and Mclovin. John takes back his pants and great club from his bushbeast, beats it just in case and then tells him to stay where he is until further notice or else.

Malak steps foward and says “I’ll help.”

Maverick screams “Revolution!!!!!! HELL YES!!! ILL HELP!!! DOWN WITH THE MAN!!!!”

Maverick whispers to Mary, “go hide somewhere safe sweetie, i promise to come and find u afterwards. be safe i love you.” she kisses mary on the forehead and runs to join Malak and John.

Maverick, Malak, Mclovin, John and Normus are all garbed by the mob and tossed into a catapult. Ringgar climbs in.

“John, If I don’t make it, send more men.”

Malak and the rest watch as their turtles are ALSO loaded onto a separate catapult. The peasants try to break the rope by hitting it with the maces they stole form the dead guards. When they realize that won’t work, they simply bite through it. The group is flung through the air at eye burning speeds until they land on the foundation of the floating castle.

Maverick takes no damage because her adamantine armor protects her form most of the impact.
Malak gracefully lands on his feet.
John and Mclovin use their light armor and thick skin to avoid most of the impact.
Normus splats against the walls of the castle and takes 1 damage.

The turtles whistle through the air and explode against the walls of the castle. their thick boney shells protect them from impact, and their incredible velocity blasts an enormous hole in the side of the castle.

Several royal guards can be seen inside carrying a pot of boiling oil.

“Oh god, THEIR ALREADY HERE!!! ALL IS LOST, EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF!!!” The guards scream. Several dash out the hole and throw themselves off the edge of the castle. One dunks his head into the boiling oil, and burns to death.

More peasant reinforcements arrive by air. With them also comes Bacon. Normus’s spider eater flys up from the ground and lands next to him.

“Okay John, we have to deactivate the levitation gem at the top of the castle so we can overtake the castle. Take this dispel magic scroll. Do you have a spell caster?” The warforged asks John.

“Here I can do it.” Malak says holding his hand out for the scroll.
John finds 963 gp. (from the dead bodies)
Ringgar tosses the scroll to Malak.

“We are going in to try to subdue the royal guards. You guys try and make it to the top of the palace and shut down the levitation gem. Good luck!”

Ringgar and his rabble trot into the hole.

Everyone thinks they hear a soft screaming noise. They dismiss it, until they see corporal Zmire zooming through the air towards them. He lands with a very unerving ‘thud’. He quickly picks himself up and shakes his head.

“WHAT’S GOING ON!” The whole fucking city has been turned upside down! The Major is pissed. I managed to spot you guys as I was leaving HQ. Tricked the mobs down on the ground into letting me use the catapults. Why didn’t you guys use those damn beads I gave you?"

Malak says “Quickly, we almost have him! With this scroll we can take him down! Let’s follow him!”

Maverick follows after Malak whos following after Ringgar

“Me sorry Zimire we cant do noting about noting” John grabs the scroll from malaks hand (slieght of hand) and says " Magic no work on warforged. You no spell caster. Even John know you cant use it." John hands it to maverick.

The group enters the hole in the wall Ringgar and vanishes inside. John doesn’t manage to get the scroll from Malak. Then everyone follows Ringgar into the castle. Malak and Normus recognize the the interior, but something is different. Most of the art, jewels, food, weapons and pretty much anything that wasn’t bolted the the floor has been ransacked or stolen. All of the peasants, royal guardsmen, and aristocrats have vanished. The entire setting seems like the set up for a horror movie. Out of the corner of his eye, Malak thinks he sees a pair of glowing red eyes. He turns to check the corner, but nothing is there.

Malak tosses the dispell magic scroll to Maverick and says “Something’s not right….”

Malak draws his bow. spot check to see how Bacon is reacting.

Bacon’s ears are back and he seems agitated. Even he senses that something is not right.

“Maverick, there’s a lot of negative energy in her. Undead kind.” The cherub says.

Leon seems flustered.

Malak says to Zmire " I think we’ve been set up…"

Zmire sighs.

“At this point, I don’t really care. I didn’t transverse a whole continent, nearly get killed twice and work with HIM to go back to base empty handed.”Zmire says pointing at Normus. “I’m a soldier, if I know it’s physically possible, I’ll see my mission to the end. We all have something riding on the life or death of Ringgar, whether it be our career, family, beliefs or personal philosophy. He is some where in this castle, and I am going to find and kill him.” Zmire says. He whips his paddle out of it’s holster and charges down one of the stretching corridors.

“That’s why I like that guy… " Malak says with a grin. “C’mon Boy!” Malak says to Bacon.

“If anyone finds Ringgar use your bead.”

Track check on Ringgar.

John remains completely oblivious to the wearing danger and runs through the castle grabing anything that might fancy him or ringgar.
“Leon, can u see or sense anything….coming? like following us?” Maverick asks
Malak takes off down the corridor with Bacon baying next to him. As with the last castle, the hallways seem to shift and change. However, with Bacon’s nose they manage to find the mob much quicker. Ringgar and his rabble are beating the ever-loving crap out of a handful of royal guards in a large throne room-like outlet. The banners of the Noble Coat of Arms have all been torn down and the peasants are looting. The guards don’t even seem to be trying to fight back. Strangely enough, there are no nobles to be found.

John begins his looting spree, and at first finds nothing. He walks up to a beat up vault door. The human peasants probably tried to knock it down, but were too weak. John manages to pry open the damaged door, and finds several lizard folk religious items including a, Belt of the Dragon God’s Fiery Breath (Magic Item). He also finds a small chest filled with jewels equaling 650 gp in value. He sees the Nobles also tried hiding gourmet food in the vault.

“There are evil creatures here. Very evil. I really think we should leave.” Leon says shaking.

“honey, i wish we could but we have to get Rinngar. now c’mon help me find Malak. the faster we get this done the faster we’re out!”

Maverick follows after Malak’s path. search/ track check on Malak.
Mclovin follows Malak. If the dragon god has a prayer equivalent to “though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me”, he prays it.
John looks at the room with awe. He first does a ritualistic chant before even touching the stuff, which includes him yelling “dragon god, dragon god, DRAGON GOD!” He reclaims the items for his people and then realizes that shit is getting personal. He puts on the belt and grabs what ever he can grab eats what ever he can eat and then does a search check for the mechanism that makes the castle float. John throws his club over his shoulder and into his hands, pumps it and says “Lock and load.” As a prayer to his dragon god symbolizing that he will not lock his enemies away but load them with a shit load of death.
John now has a 3 damage fire breath attack twice a day (Does not stack with rage, magical enhancement or any other bonus damage increasing effects)

Maverick and Mclovin try to catch up with Malak, but become hopelessly lost in the castle. They walk around in circles, finally exhausting themselves into stopping. The stretches of castle seem to go on and on forever. Any time they try to find their way back, all decreeable land marks have vanished. Only looted hallways remain, splattered with the blood of the royal guards, and littered with their bodies. However, the single worst part of the whole situation, the most absolutely terrifying circumstance, is not a living soul inhabits a square inch of the castle. Not a single Noble corpse has been found, and their seem to be no trace of them. The deathly silence of the castle washes over the two like a sea, pumping adrenaline into their veins with every passing second, fully aware that something awful will approach them. As they continue forwards or backwards (Both appear to get them nowhere) a small black vaguely human shaped creature only a foot tall steps out of the shadows and stares at both Mclovin and Maverick. It’s thin grey eyes transfixed on the pair, unblinking, unmoving and unwavering. The little black creature doesn’t move, even when provoked. It simply stares at both of them.

Leon hisses loudly and hides behind Maverick. The little dragon is shaking violently.

Malak throws his bead on the ground to shatter it.
Before their unnerving encounter with the small back creature even begins, everyone but Normus is whisked away to a large room filled with Ringgar and his rabble. Ringgar looks over as the party teleports into the room.

“Well hello again John. This castle is harder to navigate then I thought. Can you believe how well this fight is going? Soon, all the people of Ranpurre will be free and equal under the banner of anarchy and Communism. Isn’t Communism great?” Ringgar says. All the peasants start singing songs about communism.

Zmire looks to Malak and nods his head.

“Good work.” He says as he turns to Ringgar. “This is nothing personal, but I have to kill you now.”

The corporal screams a battle cry and charges Ringgar. Before the corporal can even touch the warforged, a long black spear shoots down from the ceiling and impales Ringgar. The mechanical man slumps to the floor, dead. Green and black fluids leak out of him as the spear crackles with electricity.

“You disgusting, degenerate rabble are ruining a very good thing for us and our master.”

Suddenly, the room slowly and mechanically starts to shift and turn as the whole room spins on an axis like a planetarium arena. Parts of the floor slide open as the rattle of chains can be heard in the background. A large pool of thick, opaque, crimson liquid is revealed to have been hiding under the stone floor. On closer inspection, the liquid is revealed to be blood. A balcony and stairs flips around from the walls as most of the room is transformed into what looks like a giant alter. Out of the middle of the pool of blood rises a large platform. On top of this platform, lays a large pink slug-like creature with two bulbous, bulging green eyes. A large toothy sucker with a flickering tentacle-like tounge sits in between it’s eyes. Blood slides off it’s slimy, swollen, veiny body as the pillar ascends high into the air. Along with the pillar, a long black metal pipe rises from the blood. The pipe finds it’s resting place in the monster’s mouth, and it begins to suck contentedly.

Down the stair case come twelve hooded figures wearing black robes.

“We are the cult of Illixgoth.”

Malak screams “VOODOO MOTHERFU-[elven curse… elven curse] WORSE THAN ANY SCUM TO CRAWL OUT OF BACON’S BACKSIDE [ elven curse… elven anger…. more elven curses] DIE!!!!!!”

Malak shoots an arrow at a hooded figure.

The projectile splunks into the shoulder of one of the figures. He stares at it frankly and simply pulls it out of his shoulder.

“Ow.” He says snapping the arrow in his fist. He reaches out his hand and one of his associates hands him a vial filled with blood. He throws back his hood and downs the crimson liquid, revealing that his mouth contains two long, curved fangs.

Bacon begins barking loudly, leon hisses and starts cursing in draconic.

The cherub simply stares at the figures with a look of absolute disgust.

“Vampires.”

“We are the worshipers of Illixgoth” One of the Vampires says pointing at the giant blob on the pedestal. “Our master’s reign shall not be cut short by several monkeys and two lizard monsters who think they can save the world. We have been manipulating the nobles for generations now, and the blood of Lord Illixgoth has kept us strong. You will all join the other nobles as a part of our master.” They say pointing to the pool of blood. Malak notices several blood soaked items of finery floating at the top of the pool.

Sam, now would be a good time for a lesson on one of a cleric’s most potent abilities, “Turning Undead.”

As a standard action (Means you can only do it once per post you send, and once you do it, you can’t make another action, like how an attack or a skill check work.) You can hold up a holy symbol and channel the power of your god through you. This can be done through prayer, or by simply saying, “In the name of god…” Followed by an order. The undead will do 1 of 4 things.

1) They will be instantly destroyed. If an undead is weak enough, they will be instantly destroyed by the positive energy you channel.

2) They will halt (Paralyzed). If an undead will be completely paralyzed and unable to fight back as long as you continue to present your holy symbol. The second you put your arm down, or take another action, they will be free. You must specify in every post that you are still keeping your arm up.

3) They will turn (Cower). If an undead is strong enough, they will instead run screaming into the night in psychotic, panicked fear. This effect ends when you stop turning.

4) Nothing. If an undead is VERY strong, nothing will happen.

You can turn a total of 3 times a day. You need to be within arms reach of a holy symbol, or you cannot turn.

“Oh… I get it now….” Malak states in a suddenly uncharacteristically calm manner.

Malak tosses Maverick his Star of David (Holy Symbol)

DIE!!!!!” Malak screams resuming his previous disposition.

Malak draws a darkwood/ core arrow and shoots it at the slug on the alter.

John tries one of his fire breath attacks on one of the black hooded figures and tries to run for a change. If there is no way out then he starts to rage and give it all he got. “John dont fuck with undead. That holy lady job. John rather try to wrangle wild spider eater.”

Maverick looks stupidly at Malak, “HAVE YOU NEVER EVEN HEARD OF VAMPIRES?! YOU CAN’T JUST RANDOMLY FIRE AT THEM! IT DOESNT DO SHIT!!!!”

As a free action, Mclovin asks the vampires if they sparkle in the sunlight. He waits for their response. He assumes an en guard stance with his mace.

Maverick takes the star of david and places it on her chain shirt. she pulls out her cross and begins to pray {{maverick is not holding it up to them at this moment.}} she begins wildly speaking in tongues. her eyes light up golden with holy light. she makes the sign of the cross on Leon, Bacon, and her comrades.

PROTECT THE MASTER!” One of the vampires screams and jumps into the path of Malak’s arrow. The arrow sticks into the vampire’s stomach and he takes 4.

John rears back his head and blasts the Vampire in the face with his breath weapon. The vampire takes 3 fire damage. Most of it’s face burns and melts off, leaving it twice as evil looking and horrendously disfigured. It’s left eye explodes and drizzles out of the socket. The fat form it’s lips melts, then chars, leaving a runny black mess around it’s mouth and feral teeth. It’s black hair disintegrates instantly, leaving nothing but charred, foul smelling clumps and burn marks on it’s head.

“Kill them!” The vampire says wrenching the arrow out of it’s stomach and snapping it in half. One of the vampires turns to the rest.

“Three of you go guard the king, three of you protect the master. Two of us shall be enough to eradicate these vermin. As long as the castle floats and our puppet is alive, we can still regain control of the city, and by extension, the country.”

Three vampires dash back up the stairs and disappear. Three dash over to the blood pool, and clear a jump from it’s edge, to the pillar in the middle. They Spider Climb to the top, and Two of the vampires throw off their cloaks and run screaming at Malak, John and Maverick. They are, however, intercepted by the mob. The peasants scream retribution for their fallen leader.

“Death to the Upper class!” The peasants wail.

They manage to deal a total of 1 damage to both vampires before they are all maimed and grotesquely ripped through like wet toilet paper by the vampires.

Zmire turns to Maverick.

“Bless me or John’s weapons, QUICK!”

Maverick casts align weapon for good on Johns weapon.

Maverick then holds up her cross and begins to shout “YE AS I WALK THROUGH THE VALLEY OF THE SHADOW OF DEATH I SHALL FEAR NO EVIL!!” she begins to turn undead.

John with his awsome new bless weapon attack one of the vampires. (John is raging).

Malak stabbs at a vampire with his flame dagger
Maverick {{still holding up the cross and now the star of david for some extra strength!!}} orders Leon to go and fire attack as many vamps as possible “stay outta there reach dear!” she continues to pray.
John’s club glows with unearthly light and pulses with positive energy.

Maverick raises her holy symbol and a bright blue light fills the room. The vampires scream in agony two of them simply flee the room. The two attacking the group recoil and climb up the pillar to cower next to their master. The maimed vampire freezes. He then stands up, and his head promptly explodes, showering everyone in the room in thick, sticky, black gore.

MASTER! SAVE US!” One of the vampires scream.

The slug stops sucking an it’s blood pipe and sighs. One of the vampires bring out an empty vial, and the slug vomits a large quantity of blood into the vessel. The vampire downs it and smashes the glass on the stone floor below. He begins laughing manically as his body twists and begins to reform. His limbs snap off, and his hair begins to fall out. It’s skin turns black, and it’s shape becomes that of a anthropomorphous blob. Several large red eyes open up on it’s body and large white tooth like protrusions stick up from it’s body. The horrible monstrosity leaps off the pillar and slams into the ground next to the party and roars, spewing a black tar-like substance into the air.

John roars his own battle cry back and slams his great club into the monster for 6 damage.

The monster screams and back hands john, sending him flying into a nearby wall, dealing 4 damage. The monster regains 2 hp. Leon leaps into the air and torches the monster for 2 damage. The horror screams again and flails it’s massive spiked appendages in the air trying to grab Leon and grind him into a paste. In the process, it regains 1 hp. Malak weaves his way over to the horror and stabs it with his flame dagger for 1 fire damage. The monster whips around and knocks Malak on his ass and into the blood pool for 4 damage.

It then turns its attention to Maverick. It’s eyes narrow and it shambles forward slowly and menacingly. Leon tries to distract it by scratching it from the air, but it ignores the dragon. Bacon bites the monster and tries everything in his doggy power to stop it, but soo joins his master as the horror flings him into the blood pool. It raises it’s hideously malformed arms and tries to impale Maverick on one of it’s spines when corporal Zmire jumps in front of her. The spine penetrates both the corporal and his armor, sticking all the way through. Blood spurts out of his mouth and nose as the monster retracts it’s arm. Zmire has taken 11 damage and is bleeding. He coughs up a large amount of blood, then in an amazing feat of stamina turns to Maverick.

“Don’t drop that cross. Tell the major I’m sorry.”

Zmire dies.

Maverick quickly begins to back toward the hall. her arm is still raised.

Malak puts on his angel band and explodes out of the blood pool dragging Bacon with him. He screams “John, Maverick, McLovin, get the hell outa here!!! Bacon protect Maverick!!”

Malak casts continual flame on the monstrosity, “Look at me Bitch!!!” Malak yells at the monster. As he taunts the monster he drinks his hide from undead potion.

The monster shrieks as the flames hit its back and turns to wail on Malak, only to find that he has vanished. It takes 1 damage. It screams in frustration and rapidly flails it’s arms completely missing any valid target.

Maverick tries to back up, only to find that the door they entered from has vanished.

Malak does a spot check for an alternative exit

The only remaining exit is the one all the vampires fled through.

John sheds a single tear for his lost comrade, attacks and says “YOU WILL NOT BE FORGOTEN.” John with all of his might tries to cry.

John leaps into the air, touches the ceiling, and rockets into the Vampire Monster for 7 damage. The monster sweeps him against the wall and deals another 4 damage to John.

Malak takes his canaster of oil of truth and pours a little into his empty flask (from the hide from undead). takes a match lights up the remaining oil ( in the canaster) on fire and chucks it at the monster.
Malak tosses the flaming oil at the Vampire Horror. The canister bounces off the monster harmlessly and the continual flame goes out.

Maverick casts “Cure Moderate Wounds” on the blob vampire. Then she holds her cross and star of david back up and speaks in rapid tongues.{{turning}}

The vampire freezes. Slowly it begins to gurgle, and pinpricks of white light spurt from it’s horribly misshapen body. It takes 16 damage and explodes, sending black goo everywhere. The last two vampires milk their master and dash out of the room. The room shifts and the slug monster slowly descends back into it’s blood pool. The door that Malak entered from reappears and the floor closes up.

HOWEVER, the door the vampires entered and fled through still remains.

John looks around for an exit. “John say we get out. NOW!”

Malak gives John a healing potion (10 hp)

Malak kneels next to Zmire and says a requiem prayer in Elven. He stands and says “You are the first human to recieve an Azurian requiem….rest in peace.”

He does a track check for the hole in which the party entered the castle.

Mclovin walks towards the door through which he entered

Maverick walks over to Zmire, lets her fingers fall across his eyes to close them and gives him his Last Right. She makes the sign of the cross and kisses his forehead. “We gotta drop this rock boys and girls. no leaving just yet.”

John holds onto Zimires body. John drinks the healing potion that Malak gave him.

John is back at full. He also now has an empty flask.

Malak exits the room and makes his way back to the hole in the castle wall with bacon. He finds Normus sitting on his hands and his spider eater munching on a random peasant.

The other three manage to get horribly lost. Maverick remembers what Ringgar said about the Gem, and begins going up. She climbs every stair case she can find until she finds a stone tower at the very top of the castle. The tower has no doors, but does have several large windows at the top.

John puts down Zimires body and jumps to the windows (John agreed with maverick and followed her.)

Malak says to Bacon “Go find McLovin boy, make sure they make it back to this hole!”

Malak steps out of the hole and flies to the roof. Spot check for Maverick and John

Bacon barks and takes off down one of the halls. Malak steps outside and hears crowds of agitated peasants roar miles below him.

Meanwhile, Maverick and John stare up at the grey stone tower that houses their target. John tries to jump the full length, but the tower is too tall. He ends up digging his claws into the cracks and crevices in the bricks and climbs his way to the top. When John reaches the windows, he sees two royal guards sitting next to an absolutely enormous diamond.

“OH NO! The peasants have over taken the castle!” One of them screams.

“Relax. The cabal said they would let us join if we guarded the levitation gem. Lets just kick this bitch to the curb.” The other guard says pulling out his mace. The two guards approach John with a menacing expression.

Down below, Bacon comes running up to Maverick and begins barking loudly.

“He says ‘master wants you’. He wants us to follow him.” Leon says to Maverick. “Should I help John, mistress?”

John wips out his great club attacks the gaurds and says “Try john.”

Mclovin does a track check for Bacon

Malak falls off the edge of the castle platform and soars upwards. He flaps his way up to the top of the cast and spots Maverick on the roof. John is being approached by two loyal guards with maces.

Mclovin sees bacon as he runs down the hall and heads in the same direction. He manages to make his way to the roof.

One of the guards tries to flank John, but are horribly surprised when it has no effect. Both miss in their attacks.

John suddenly realizes that since he didn’t pick a target on his enemies that he is just flailing his arms around uselessly. So he decides to aim for breaking their skulls/faces. So they will be ugly and kill themselves.

John hits. He deals 6 damage. His face is catastrophically smashed and he has been seriously maimed. Most of his teeth have been knocked out, and his nose has been broken and bent as that he can’t breath out of it. One of his eyes have been knocked out, and blood obscures most of his features. He staggers around swinging wildly in retaliation, but misses. The second guard hits John in the back with his mace and deals 1 damage.

John initially shrugs off the damage, when he is suddenly compelled to jump out of the tower. He does so and plummets to the roof below taking 3 damage. He begins foaming at the mouth, and beats his head against the floor.

(John has been effected by a confusion spell.)

Malak lands behind the guards to flank them.

He then stabs one w/ his Kukuri Knife.

“oh Leon ur such a dear!” Maverick tells the dragon, scratching his head. “if it wouldnt be too much trouble?” She does a climb check.

Mclovin uses his lizard folk mad climbing skillz to scale the side of the tower.

Despite the fact that she has no equipment to help her, and that the tower is a tough climb for most humans, Maverick manages to scale the side of the Tower very effectively.

The uninjured Royal guard attacks and hits Mclovin and hits him in the stomach for 1 damage. Mclovin falls on the floor and begins scratching himself.

Leon flies by and burns the face off the injured royal guard. He deals 3 damage. The guard screams, and falls out the side of the tower (The fire damage killed him. He’s pretty dead at this point.).

The last remaining guard realizes he is flanked by two opponents with a vastly superior level of competence then him, and surrenders. He drops his mace, and a red ribbon unwinds off of it. It has a magic aura. Leon swoops down and grabs it in his mouth. He lands on Maverick’s shoulder and hands her the ribbon.

John starts dragging his butt on the roof. Bacon joins him.

“Good Boy!” Malak yells to Bacon.

“Alright, Maverick take the thing down.”Malak says.

When John gets back to the top john exclaims “JOHN SO CONFUSED!” Forgeting that Mavrick had the scroll john repeatedly hits the crystal with his great club.

“John, stop it”

Maverick puts the magic ribbon in her hair and tells Malak, “if anything funny happens take it off immediately.”

Maverick reads the dispel magic scroll.

Suddenly a sick realization comes over Maverick, “Holy Mother Mary, do the people who hired us KNOW about the vampires?!!”

Maverick puts the ribbon in her hair. Nothing happens.

“I think it’s a hilt wrap Mistress. You wrap it around the handle of any weapon, and it takes on special properties. It works like a graft medallion.”

Maverick reads the magic scroll and the gem emits a low humming noise. The entire castle lurches, and plummets out of the sky. The sheer force of the fall knocks everyone off their feet and sends them flying into the air.

Malak swoops down and grabs Maverick and Mclovin.

John is convulsing on the floor when the sudden rush of air snaps him back to his usual senses. He sees that Bacon is still on the roof of the castle and dives down to grab him. With the dog in his arms, he kicks off the castle walls and free falls towards a nearby building. He hits the thatched roof with a tremendous ‘crash’ and the house collapses under him. John and Bacon walk away from the wreak, unscathed.

Normus casually jump onto his spider eater and fly to the ground.

As the castle falls, several dead bodies and other forms of debris shoot off of the castle platform and into the air, eventually raining down on houses, factories, and several members of the mob below. The castle hits the ground with the force of a megaton bomb, shattering the two castles standing next to it. The shock wave produced by the castle’s landing sends peasants flying back several feet in the air, and deafening anyone in a five mile radius with the incredible boom.

(Que princes of the universe)

The peasantry screams a battle cry that is twice as loud as the blast of the castle. They charge the imperial palace, waving stolen weapons and yelling rallying cries of freedom. They bust down the doors and rip up anything that isn’t bolted, literally tearing the hallways apart like a wave of anarchistic hell fire. Even though not a single living thing stands in their way, the wrath of the unwashed masses comes down like a hammer on the depravity of the ruling class. They burn, throw and smash aristocratic icons, and break down vanity portraits of the nobles all over the castle. They rip their hoarded food out of the vaults, and scarf it down with tears in their eyes.

Malak lands next to John and Bacon who jumps on his master and licks him repeatedly. Mary spots Maverick and runs up and hugs her. Normus’s spider eater lands next to the group, and John spots his bush beast starring blankly into space. The sound of destruction can be heard in the background as the group sighs heavily.

Everyone turns at the sound of a pair of hands clapping.

Major Surolian stands behind the group with a sour look on his face.

“Bravo.” he sighs deeply. "God what an awful waste. Looks like even in death, Ringgar beats me to the punch. All those years of tracking the rebellion’s growth, all those months of planning, all one great waste. All those months of trying to convince the vampire cabal that I was on their side, only to have them escape just on the cusp of their destruction.

BRA-FUCKING-VO."

“We hold up our part or bargin… Now you.” John grabs his bush beast throws his great club at him and tells him to carry it. Search check for our turtles.

“Yes, yes John. You will each receive your payment.” The Major says regaining his more formal manner. He motions for a carriage from an ally and two soldiers clamor out. They open the doors and reveal several large bags of gold.

“16,000 Gold for each of you. I promised this gig would pay well. I imagined the king would have rewarded you as well if this had all gone according to plan. It didn’t however. This is sadly all I could muster without starving my men. Mr. Firestone, I believe I do have something for you as well. As per our agreement, Ringgar is dead. I owe you at least this much.” Surolian says snapping his fingers.

The other door of the carriage is opened and Kaylee steps out. She runs over to Malak and hugs him.

“She’s a talented chess player. She even beat me a few times on the trip over here. I have a confession to make to you all. I am unofficially quitting the army. They say if you want a job done right, do it yourself. As regrettable as it is to learn of Corporal Zmire’s demise, it was inevitable for the unreal expectations I placed on him. I would like to extend the contract I had for your group. No threats, no hostages, no black mail. I will be offering double what I paid you for the last mission, and I will be coming with you personally.” The major says.

“I know none of you owe me jack shit, and you would have no reason to trust me from our past dealing, but I need your help. I’m short on allies, and I just scraped the corpse of one of my most loyal supporters off the roof of my coach. I’m on my knees, I have no other options, and Zmire spoke highly of your effective (if not rag-tag) abilities.”

“John in… for Zimire, plus if you can tell john where to get his nerf.”

Major Surolian smirks.
“You caught me. I almost forgot about your Nerfs. Sadly, my plans have not yet come to fruition, and I am unable to summon your nerfs. I promise you will have them by the end of my new mission.”

Maverick ties the ribbon to her staff.

Maverick doesnt seem to pay much attention to the man blabbing in front of herand instead is scream “MARY?!! MARY!?!? WHERE ARE YOU?!?!” she twists and truns violently unable to see mary through the mayhem. “i cant do anything till i find her!!!!!!!!!!!” she screams at the man. search check for mary.

“I’m right here.” Mary says looking up at Maverick.

The Major shuffles awkwardly.
“I suppose you never got that Magic Rot taken care of…”

Maverick gives Mary a hug and a kiss and says, “sorry my dear. i am just a bit stressed is all. i am glad ur ok!!” she giggles with embarassment.

Maverick looks at the Major and says, “im going wherever Malak is going.”

“What about John? John not special enough?HHHHMMMM?! Me stick with Major. He no smell as bad as you.” John lols at Mavricks magic rot.

The major nods then turns to Mclovin.

“I know you have never met me, but I would thrilled if you could join me as well. The late corporal had nothing but good things to say about you.” Surolian says then turning to Normus.

“Lets get one thing straight, the aristocracy is dead, and the buck stops here. You are a coward, a traitor, and a useless sack of flesh. The only reason I would even consider using you is that I’m desperate for man power. If you so much as slip up once, i will personally cut out your liver and drizzle blood down your throat with it. I know that now that the aristocracy has been torn down, you have no place to go. Your home was destroyed, and if you went back to your old town, you would be executed as a loyalist and a enemy of the rebellion. You need us just as much as I need you. You can come with us and I will try to offer you protection from the mob, or you can live the rest of your life in poverty, hiding from the new government. The choice is yours.”

FOR THE LAST TIME ITS NOT MAGIC ROT!!” Maverick exclaims.

Maverick laughs at Normus’s misfortune.

“John, u have become a dear friend to me, but i must go where Malak goes. I havent a choice. No more questions now. except for, where are you going Malak?”

Mclovin says he’ll go with the major. He asks what nerfs are. He asks if anyone knows where to go for some really badass armor and weapons. If no one knows, he does a spot check for a place that sells some really badass armor and weapons.

The Major takes Mclovin by ths shoulder and whispers,

“Just roll with it. John’s……… Not that bright.”

He then turns back to the whole group.“The first part of our new mission is to give the group’s equipment an upgrade.”

“John want a new shoulder gaurd. But make it like a nerf would.Make it good. Oh and Mclovin, You need real lizardfolk weapon, like….. JAVLIN!”

Mclovin wants armor that’s good, but won’t give him too much of a penalty. He’ll also get a javelin and a sabre, or some other good kind of sword. Spot check for the turtles
Malak hugs Kaylee and pats Bacon on the head

He rises and says " Major, you will have my bow to assist you. Assuming that Kaylee will be allowed to travel with us."

Malak introduces Kaylee to the rest of the party. (DJ i am assuming that you consider her to be a rogue class.)

“I could use a few more of those core arrow heads, and actual arrows wouldn’t be too bad either. Oh! and I almost forgot we need bacon for my hound here!” Spot check for a weapon’s or equipment shop and a place to purchase bacon."

View
Day 5
Twins and Lizards revisited

Time ticks buy slowly as the group waits out the night ready for their assignment. Finally the sun comes up and the hour turns to 1 before noon. Malak, Maverick and Mary wait out the night in their room while John, Normus, and Tom sleep in John’s room

There appears to be a loud commotion going on in the tavern below.

Normus goes to that tavern: “I wonder what trouble lower beings are cooking up. They should all go to the magical gas chambers in my opinion.”

Several Royal Guards are looting the Inn. One wearing a very large hat yells “You can’t hide forever thief! We have finally be given orders to arrest you on the grounds of grand theft!”

One Royal guards spots Normus and tackles him to the ground.

SIR! This one was traveling with the suspect!”

Every Guard in the room stops what they are doing and gathers around Normus, maces drawn.

“Tell us where he is and we won’t sodomize your corpse after we kill you. That way, you can still get a christian funeral.” The Large-Hat guard says.

“I think we ought to leave by another means then the front door.” Malak says.

(Raging) John with a throbing head ache do to the commotion the lack of sleep and a small hang over john grabs his great club finds the source of the noise and smashes his club against the nearest wall and yell " SHUT THE FUCK UP AND SUCK ON JOHNS SCALEY GENITALS!" John will attack anyone who comes near him. (so if a royal gaurd comes up to me you can add in the email dj that john attacks them… save you an email)

Maverick does a search check for an alternate exit

BOYS! MAKE HIM HURT!” The Guard in the hat screams.

Ten royal guards jump on John. John winds up and uppercuts one in the head with his great club dealing 7 damage. The guard fly back and is knocked unconscious. The nine remaining guards surround John. Three grapple him and the other six take turns hitting him in the stomach with their maces. John takes 5 damage (cause one of the guards had a bad swing).

There is a window out of Maverick and Malak’s room. Its ten feet off the ground, but it is an easy climb. (Plus Malak can fly and has a freaking chain and grappling hook in his backpack!)

“No. I would hate to be buried with those sorry pagans!” Nomus begins crying. “Please don’t hurt me! I’ll tell you anything you want! Anything! Describe him for me, and I’ll tell everything I know. Don’t sodomize my copse.” Under his breath: “Sodomy’s my job.”

John trys for a jump check to do what neo did in the matrix movie when mr smith is fighting him in the train station.(dont the 3 gaurds get 1 damage due to my spikes?) If John can resist their grapple John swings his great club again.

The Guards pound the dirt out of Tom. He takes 5 damage Tom is now bloody

John Pounds the floor and rockets up through the crowd of guards around him dealing 2 damage to all three that were grappling him. He grabs a rafter on the ceiling, then epic strikes down on a guard’s head dealing 7 damage. The guard’s head cracks like an egg and he slumps to the floor. The remaining eight guards pummel him with their maces in a gang-rape beat-down fashion, dealing 4 damage. John is bloody.

A guard smashes his mace into Tom knocking him out of the window. He falls to the ground and loses consciousness in the alley.

“Okay, we’ll let you live because we have to kill this lizard folk if you tell us where this man is!” The guard says holding up a picture of Malak.

John looks at the picture and says “me no know” slams the gaurd and runs like fuckin hell grabing normus to possibly use him as a shield and or battering ram if they baricaded the door.

John backhands the guard in front of him and charges for the door. He grabs Normus by the wrist and drags him with him towards the doors of the tavern, crashing through and continue running. The guards look out the shattered remains of the tavern doors and simply shake their heads.

LETS CHECK UPSTAIRS!!!”

Maverick opens the window and puts mary on her back and begins to climb down. “Malak come on lets MOVE IT!!!! GO!!!!”

Malak puts on his angel band, He grabs Mary and Maverick. He jumps out the window and takes flight. Spot check for Zmire, Normus, or John.

Malak spots John hauling ass like there is no tomorrow towards the docks. As he glides out the window, Several guards bust down the door to his room screaming

THERE HE GOES, AFTER HIM!!!!” One guards hurl a beer bottle out the window and clubs Malak in the back of the head dealing 1 damage. 20 guards file out of the tavern.

Malak flies towards the docks, He swoops low towards John.

Maverick sees John is very wounded and cast a healing spell upon him so he can kick ass better:)

John suddenly feeling more el kickasso stops runing, lets go of normus, does a spot check for zimire, and spot checks for gaurds. “What hell you do?!” John says to Normus.

John gets back 1 hp and his bleeding has stopped. His rage ends. The guards charge towards Normus and John, trample over them, and continue running after Malak. Normus takes 1 damage. Malak spots Zmire waiting at the dock next to the group boat.

“There he is!” Normus yells, pointing at Malak. “After him everyone! He’s an enemy of the state!”

Nomus begins running away from Malak to the nearest guards, clenching his fists and begging. “Please give me protection from the crazed enemy of the state.”

Maverick covers Mary’s ears and says to Malak, “I’m really regretting not killing Normus when we had the chance.”

Malak replies " I’m sure you’ll have the opportunity. Do tell Zmire of that <elven>’s actions" Malak lands at the docks. next to Zmire.

“Zmire!! I regret to inform you that we must make another speedy departure. We clearly have enemies in high and low places.” Malak yells.

Malak lets of Maverick and Mary. He draws his bow and takes flight again.

Spot check for John and the guards.

“Woah, woah, slow down. What are you guys talking about? Why do you look like you rolled under a train?” Zmire says. It is at this point that the corporal notices the mob of blood thirsty royal guards trailing behind Malak and Maverick. “HOLY SHIT! We gotta get out of here!”

The corporal vaults over to a nearby ship (Your ship) and yanks the ropes tying it to the dock. Once those are released, he swings down below deck and starts the fans.

MOVE YOUR ASSES!” The corporal screams.

Like a snowball, the crowd of Royal Guards has continued to grow as it advances, starting out at around 28, and ending at around 60.

Malak is unable to see John now that he has landed because the lizard man is obscured by the horde.

(Normus is still standing next to him.)

" Maverick!" Malak yells “use your stunning cube!!!”

Maverick uses her stunning cube on the guards{{didnt even remember having this!! dunno exactly how it works but i sorta get the point in the title.}}

Maverick grabs Mary and jumps onto the boat, “MARY STAND BEHIND ME!!” Maverick shouts. Maverick begins reigning lightning down from the heavens into the mob of guards.

(Confounding cube. I’m assuming Terrance was just typing in character.)

Maverick takes the small wooden box out of her bag and throws it into the middle of the crowd. Every guard in the crowd grinds to a screeching halt and stares at the strange wooden cube. Like rabid fans at a yankees game on a foul ball all of them pounce on it with an almost frightening roar. Only the lead guard (With the hat) remains unaffected.

“What the hell is wrong with you degenerate retards! We use those damn things all the time to subdue the peasants, we’re supposed to be immune to them, watch!” The leader says irately. He pulls another confounding cube out of his pocket and drops it next to himself. All of the guards stop fighting over the cube maverick threw and stare at the one next to the head guardsman. They swarm towards the new cube and catch their leader underfoot in the process, trampling him to death.

“That compulsion enchantment won’t last long! Grab Normus and John and lets go! We can’t afford to lose John, he’s the only one who does work around here!” The corporal yells to Malak from the boat.

john grabs normus by the collar turns him around and back hands “LISTEN TO JOHN YOU UNDER GRATFUL SELFISH! Me go out there and try to save life of you. You do nothing but try to betray us. John still stick neck out for you. You better start contributing or you no want to know what john do to you. now come on!” John again grabs Normus and runs for the docks. Frantic spot check for Zmire Malak Maverick and or Mary.

John speeds past the Royal Guard and spots the rest of the group clamoring onto the ship.

Malak takes flight, swoop’s down, and grabs Normus so that John can move easier to get to the boat.

Maverick looks at Zmire, “the little prick betrayed us, again!” she says pointing at Normus

John rushes to the ship and leaps on it (depending on how far away it is) and screams “GO GO GO!!”

Malak flies and lands on the boat. (Not particularly taking effort to protect Normus from a rough landing)

Maverick kicks Normus in the head once he’s landed on the boat.

Normus takes 1 damage from being kicked in the face.

“What the hell happened?! What the crap is going on! I turn my back on you all for one night and-!!!” Zmire is cut short by the sound of an explosion that rocks the side of the boat just an inch away from the starboard side. “WHY ARE THEY SHOOTING CANNONS AT US!?”

A second explosion hits, followed by a cannon ball smashing through the top deck.

“I’m going back down!” Zmire shouts zipping back under the grate.

A fourth cannon ball shreds through the sail.

Malak takes the angel band off and goes below deck

Maverick casts spirtual weapon on a?/the? cannonball{{s}}. {{there ya go ryan}}

The cannon ball shudders, then busts up through the top deck (Making another hole). It flies over to the cannons stationed at the dock and explodes. The dock is quiet for a second, and the canon hail stops. The boat swoops forward a few feet, then stops.

“Boat’s been pretty badly beaten up. I need to mess with the engines, they got shook up in all the cannon fire. We’re going to be traveling at half speed if we don’t patch that hole.” The corporal says pointing to the massive tear in the sail.

John asks if he could help fix the tear and if he can he does so. And while he is doing this he turns to his comrades and says “You all need to go jump in a Sabolioths stomach and die. Do you want to know why? John tell you why, you all self-centered pieces of swamp grease. Malak, you no interested in helping us you just want to help sister or whatever and think of yourself so highly because of it. Plus you have that stupid mask that gets us in trouble. I don’t blame Normus for rating you out cause you such a trouble. Normus you think you hot shot, but you not! You just as dirt poor as rest of us and royalty will never accept you unless it was to screw you over and for them to gain significantly. Maverick, you put stuiped little girl above rest of us. Yes she live tribble life and eat her fingers but we should be more valuable to you than her. Plus you think you this powerful angle from where ever and that you can do everything by self! But you can’t! None of you can and neither can John! We need each other and we need to work! So quite your damn complaining. The only person John respect is Zmire!”

Maverick grins and whispers to Malak, “someone has a rather tall soap box to stand on,”

Malak looks at John in disbelief. " Why the fuck else would I risk my life for a country that I barely belong to. Your right John, the only reason I am doing this is for my sister. And as soon as my target is dead I am taking her and leaving this wretched country!! Everyone here is fucking twisted or obsessed with an artifact that has nothing to do with ANY of them. It it not my fault your country is so fucking twisted!!! I am sure Major Surolian is paying you well John. But he doesn’t have your family held hostage! And as far as I’ve seen the only elves who are here are either blood traitors or fucked up like him!" (Malak points toward Normus)

In his frustration Malak turns to Maverick “STAY OFF THE BLAGOR!!!!!!!” he yells

Maverick faces Malak and stares at him for a moment, her face twisted in an unreadable expression. Her hand flies up and strikes him against the face with grace and agility, “Fuck u, im not the one shouting at u. chill the fuck out and dont take it out on me or im going to hit u again.” Maverick remarks coolly.

“Do you think that ME belong to dumb country. It’s all about you! John taken from home to! But you too selfish to really realize that and help me.” John says as he looks angrily at Malak. “Why don’t you just burn stupid thing any way? if it so much trouble.”

Malak takes 1 damage from being punched in the face.

“I’m staying out of this. Call me if someone starts bleeding to death.” Zmire says from below deck.

As Zmire tinkers with the engine a thick roll of fog creeps over the watery ground of the glade.

Malak looks towards Maverick and roars in anger.

“I apologize for acting rudely…” He manages finally say with gritted teeth. He sighs and becomes calm. Turning to John he says.

“Look I’m sorry they kidnapped you but I didn’t choose this upon any of us. This mask is as important to me as the nerfs are to you John!!! It’s a pain in the ass but it’s all I have left of the people who really cared about me! And how am I not helping!!! How bout the fire arrow in the Hydra? How bout the crowd in St. Loula? How bout that Alligator monster!! How about stopping you from EATING MAVERICK!?! And did I leave you to carry that filthy traitor on your own? I AM working towards the same goal as you; take your rage out on the next assholes who attack us!”

Malak leaves the room and goes towards Zmire. “Here I managed to find this” (Malak produces the black liquid) “Perhaps this liquid might help the engine."

Zmire takes the bottle and uncorks it. He sniffs it and stares at Malak in disbelief.

“Where did you get this!? This is made from an extremely rare form of oil!” The corporal says. He smashes the bottle against the engine causing the black liquid to splatter all over the magic device. “Good as new.” The corporal begins to start the fans again when a massive explosion blows a hole in the side of the ship. Water starts leaking in.

AWE, COME ON!” The corporal screams dejectedly.

Normus (Only one left still on the top deck) sees several blue vials being tossed up onto the deck as the boat crunches and shifts in the water. They shatter and let out blue smoke.

John pops open the healing potion and drinks it. He then takes his finger and plugs the hole(or his whole body whatever fills it) “Fixed!”

John gets back 5 hit points. (He is now at 9) The hole is too awkwardly shaped to plug.

“Damn it guys, there’s water coming in and I don’t think we’ll be able to turn around to get it fixed. We’re going to have to abandon ship. Hopefully we can buy mounts in a village somewhere near here.” Zmire says. “Lucky bastards got one last shot at us.”

Topside Normus hears a low, bone-chilling hiss reverberate from both sides of the ship.

Malak then comes to a realization “Maverick….why did we leave Normus alone topside?”

John comes up from the bottom of the ship and does a spot check for another ship.

Malak goes topside. Listen check, spot check

As John and Malak go to the top deck two long slender figures rise from the fog. The shape of a hydra neck followed by two more come into view. As John and Malak ready themselves to fight the three heads that are visible off the port side, five more heads appear on the opposite side of the boat. A familiar voice can be heard laughing in the distance.

“What’s up bitches!? You miss us? What do you think of our new pets? God, I fucking love the charm monster spell!” The voice of Jim Piper cackles in the fog.

Maverick and Mary go topside. “oh fuck,” Maverick says looking at the monsters. “oh ho ho fuck.”

“Maverick, I hope you know some fire spells, because the alcoholic boat boy ditched us a while ago and I don’t know if I have enough.” Malak says.

John without hesitation grabs his great club and attack one of the hydras heads letting out a loud war cry.

The heads on the starboard side hiss and strike Normus in the chest. They try to shred him with their fangs but are unable to chew through his armor. The beast on the other side of the ship whips for Maverick and sinks it’s fangs into her midsection dealing 2 damage. John Smashes his club into the hydra that hit Maverick dealing 2 damage. The head death rattles and slumps into the marsh waters below.

Cast: Summon Monster II: Fire Dragon {{hellz yeah bitches!!}} {{ps….dunno if i can choose the montser but if i can there it is!!}}

Malak yells “Heads up stay near the fire!”

Malak casts continual flame on the mast of the ship

John aims for the heads again.

Malak then cast’s pyrotechnic’s on the burning mast. He then control’s the fire to start burning the closest hydra head.

The heads hiss as the fire explodes from the mast, but they don’t back down. Malak sticks his hand into the magical fire and an enormous ball of flames blasts out of the mast and strikes one of the hydra’s heads dealing 2 fire damage. The other head is dazed by the blast. Maverick focuses her divine power and an enormous cloud of smoke explodes out in front of her. When the smoke clears, a small brass colored dragon about the size of a cat stares eagerly up at her. John tries to jump and hit the remaining head but misses.

“Ready for duty Mistress!”

The corporal grabs mary and ducks under to the bottom deck.

The hydra on the other side of the ship throws Normus aside realizing he is inedible dealing 2 damage. The other four heads spring out to help it’s comrad. One head slams Maverick, dealing 2 damage, one head bites Malak in the shoulder, dealing 2 damage. The third head bites John on the left ankle but can’t penetrate his thick skin. The head jerks back and trips John. The badly damaged hydra sinks into the fog, and returns with two extra heads.

“Maverick, see if you can clear this fog!” Malak yells. He digs his knife into the head that bit him.

John grabs hold of one of the five headed hydra necks and deals 1 damage. He attempts to crawl his way to the head, but the hydra bucks him. John flys off and hits the deck hard taking 1 damage. The three headed hydra strikes Malak and sinks it’s fangs into his head, dealing 4 damage. Malak is bloody. Retaliates by stabbing it in the eye dealing 1 damage but impairing it’s vision. The Five headed hydra smashes into john with one of it’s undamaged necks dealing 2 damage, but taking 1 in the process.

Zmire bursts through the grating with his paddle and smashes a head on the three headed hydra flat dealing 2 damage.

Malak drinks one of his healing potions. he steps closer to the fire.

The five headed hydra tries to bite John while he’s down but misses. The three headed hydra recoils at having one of it’s heads smashed. The wounds on the hydras’ necks begin to close as they eye their prey hungrily.

“Bro, this shit is boring as fuck! Lets make it interesting and add some RATS! EHA HA HA HA HA!!!” Jim cackles form the mist.

Several dog sized rats crawl up from the side of the ship. Nearly five filthy, disease ridden Dire Rats hiss at the group with their scummy yellow teeth.

“Maverick, I’m going to need your help if this fails!!!” Malak yells. Malak plays the pipes of the sewers.

Everything falls quiet as Malak plays his pipes. He fumbles at first, hitting arbitrary sharp and flat notes, but finally, he seems to get the hang of it. The dire Rats seem unaffected when suddenly a huge swarm of tiny rats clamors up the side of the ship and begins tearing one of the bigger rats to shreds. The other four dire rats whip around and begin trying to stop the swarm, only to be consumed by the tiny vermin’s frightful rage.

The hydras ignore the the rats and attack John and Maverick. Both take 2 damage.

ARE YOU GUYS RETARDED!? ATTACK THE GUY WITH THE GAY FLUTE!” Jim roars.

Maverick: 6.:.12

Malak: 11.:.12

John: 4.:.12 (He is also bloody. Sorreeez)

Normus 9.:.11

Hydra 1: 5 heads
Hydra 2: 2 heads

.:.= out of

John close to beaten takes his great club and attacks the head once again while yelling “MAVRICK HEEEEEAAALLL!”

John also sees the dragon and yells “My kin! HELP!”

Malak continues to play the pipes.

Maverick heals John with her ring.

THE FLUTE IS NOT GAY!!!!” Maverick screams.

she turns to her small dragon, “I need u to be as stealthy as possible and do all the fire damage u can on the hydras. destroy them the best u can. thank u friend and God bless you! NOW KICK SOME ASS!!” Maverick instructs the dragon.

Maverick attempts to clear the fog with her magic.

Maverick casts Sonic Burst on the 5 headed hydra.

John leaps into the air and smashes one of the three headed hydra’s remaining necks. The last head counter attacks dealing 2 damage. Luckily, Maverick heals John before he starts bleeding to badly and prevents him from losing consciousness. Malak continues to play the pipes until every last giant rat is dead. They turn to attack one of the hydras but are stomped flat and dispursed when a hydra squashes half the swarm with one attack.

The baby dragon nods his head enthusiasticly.

“Yes misstress!”

He rears back, and a supriseingly large burst of flames shoot from his mouth. The blast runs straight into the three headed hydra’s last head, and it droopes back into the murk.

Maverick screams as loud as she can (Black Canary style bitches!) and a earshattering wave of sound explodes from her mouth. The middle head of the hydra passes out, and the other four tense up. They have been deafened.

Malak shoots a darkwood arrow at the eyes of one of the remaining hydra heads.

John throws his sickle at one of the giant rats.

John’s sickle flys into the swamp. Malak runs to the other side of the ship, draws his bow, and hammers the Hydra in the eye dealing 4 damage.The head disintergrates. The other three recovor and hiss back on gaurd.

Maverick casts: Comand: “Hydras u must listen to me!! u are in grave danger from ur other brothers and sisters but also from ur two enchanters who control u!! DESTROY EACH OTHER!!!!”

John dives into the water attempting to find anything that may help him heal himself to any extent (knowlege of swamps bitches!).

“Well, it seems like you suckers have been doing fine without my help against this hydra.” Normus laughs. “Tell me, Jim, what is your angle? If I don’t like your angle, I feel like raping you or something like that.”

Malak’s arrow splices into the hydras head and explodes on contact dealing 4 damage.

Maverick attempts to cast command, but the Hydra seems uneffected.

The Brass dragon lets out another fireblast, icinerateing another head. Corporal Zmire charges up to the last remaining head and splatters its brains all over the deck with one final downward swing dealing 2 damage.

“Well fuck, what now?” Jim says.

“We make our entrance.” Jackie’s voice echos through the fog.

Just then, a large, black, horse-like creature bursts form under the blanket of fog carrying both Jim, and his brother Jackie. They swing off their mount, and it disappres.

“Hey scales, round two! Plus, look at all the new toys I bought, just for the occasion!” Jim says, pulling a damascus steel Zwiehander off his back. The sword has a strange prommel, and is covered in many tiny holes. Jim pulls a match out of his pocket, lights it, and touches the flame to the sword. The Zwiehander bursts into bright orange flames. “This this time, you fuckers are DEAD!”

John dives into the swamp and fumbles around in the fog. He manages to find a shallow spot in the glade where he discovers palla root (Natual pain killer that heals 1 damage).

PUSSY!” Jim yells as John jumps overboard. “Well mask dude, same old shit. Hand over the mask, or me and my brother are gonna ass-fuck you, and all your little friends.”

John attempts to do a sneak attack on Jackie and grapples him yelling “Malak SHOOT!!”

John bursts out of the swamp below and crashes down on Jackie dealing 1 damage. He then Gets his arms around him and pins him dealing another 1 damage.

“Not this again!” Jackie wails.

“SO, you decided to finish this, huh, you fucking iguana? Well, I’m gonna-” Jim begins to say. Just then, Corporal Zmire winds up and bashes Jim in the back of the head, dealing 5 damage. Jim just manages to remain conscious from the blow to the head.

“I’m sorry, John’s busy. Can I help you?” Zmire says with a grin on his face.

Malak’s arrows fire, but rear violently off course, just inches from reaching their targets.

“Protection from arrows. Your bow is no good here. Jackie say with a long smile.

Just then the baby dragon waddles over to Jackie and bites him in the leg, dealing 1 damage.

GAH! Why you little… SUMMON MONSTER III!”

With another burst of black smoke, a large red and black dog about the size of a wolf appears on the deck of the ship. It growls feraly at anyone who stands close to it. It growls something in Infernal to Jackie.

“Destroy anything that doesn’t look like me, starting with the dragon!” Jackie roars. The Hell Hound lets out a thunderous howl, and pounces on the brass dragon, pinning it with it’s massive paws.

Tumble check in an attempt to get closer to Jim without taking a hit by the enormous flaming sword.

Malak charges Jim just as the fighter give a wide, powerful horizontal swing. Malak ducks and roles under the sword. Jim tries again with a downward stab in an attempt to scure Malak, but misses. The fire from his sword spreads to the deck and the fire on his sword goes out. Jim yanks on the hilt of his Zwiehander, but the sword won’t budge.

SONOVA BITCH!” Jim roars, desperately trying to pry the sword out of the floor.

“We’ve got’um flanked, hit him now! Zmire says clocking Jim on the sholder dealing 2 damage.

The Hell hound takes a bite out of the Brass dragon, dealing 3 damage.

Jackie struggles in John’s grip and takes another 1 damage.

“I fucking hate reoccuring characters,” Maverick mutters. “Little dragon watch out for those dogs, go after them. size doesnt matter!!!!”

Maverick casts Aid upon Malak.

John attempts to bite jackie in the neck while he has him pinned down. After he yells to malak “Arrows no work use k nife on him!”

Maverick attacks the hell hound with her mace and gives the dragon a healing with her ring.

Malak attempts to stab Jim with his Kukuri knife.

John bites Jackie in the neck, dealing 1 damage.

“Jim, get this monstrosity OFF me, now!” Jackie screams.

WISH I FUCKING COULD!” Jim yells. He pries his weapon out of the floor and deflects an attack from Zmire with the blade of his sword. Malak stabs him in the back, dealing He back-hands Malak with the blunt edge of his sword dealing 3 damage. (Which doesn’t really matter, cause he has 4 temporary hit points!)

“Bro, I’m hurt’in, toss me a healing potion!” Jim yells.

“I can’t reach them.”

“I think it’s time we bust IT out.”

“Jim, we agreed we wouldn’t use IT. IT isn’t ready.”

“Fine, so what now?”

“We retreat.”

“What evs.”

SUMMON MONSTER III, QUICKENED BLINK, QUICKENED FLY, QUICKENED INVISIBILITY!” There is a large black blast of smoke, and The Piper Twins vanish. In their place stands a small blue, demonic looking creature with a very confused look on it’s face.

“Order to all summons; Attack the masked man, Destroy him!” Jackie’s voice orders.

The hell hound pauses as it is about to bite the head off the dragon when it hears this order. It prowls over to Malak, growling fiercely when Maverick clubs it with her mace, dealing 1 damage. The dragon gains back 1 hp.

The demon creature realizes it is out numbered 1 : 3, and gulps audibly. It closes its eyes and grits it’s teeth, and another demon appears next to it. The other creature gives a similar reaction and repeats the same action. The newest demon takes a step back while the first two approach Malak while wringing their hands with Nihilistic glee.

Normus takes his hand axe and tries to attack the creature’s eye. “If Malak’s mask is to be rid of, the only way it shall happen is with a large quantity of money being transferred, not by the force you faggot freaks.”

Maverick picks her dragon up off the floor {{hp check on the dragon}} if the dragon is too weak to fight she quickly hands it to mary who is in the bottom of the boat and returns quickly.

Maverick charges at a approaching demon and swings her mace viciously at his head.

Normus runs up to the first demon and lodges his axe in it’s face, dealing 2 damage. Maverick then slam it in the back of the head with her mace dealing 2 more damage. The creatures eye pop out of their sockets and it sprawls out on the deck. It explodes with a large cloud of smoke and vanishes. The Hell hound pounces on Malak, knocking him to the ground. It chomps down on his arm, dealing 3 damage. The other demon tries to rip the mask off of Malak’s face with it’s claws, but the mask doesn’t receive a scratch. It then gets board, and kicks Malak in the side of the head dealing 2 damage. Zmire runs up to the demon abusing Malak and golf putts him overboard.

The baby dragon still has 4 more HP.

The demon in the background summons another demon and joins the fray.

Mclovin swims casually through a large gladed area outside his home in Verpie, when he spots a small, burning, partially sunken ship. Mclovin spots a human girl holding a baby brass dragon.

Malak attempts to shove his knife into the neck of the hell hound

Malak sinks his knife into the hell hound’s neck dealing 2 damage. The beast opens it’s mouth and blasts him in the face with a fire breath attack dealing 4 damage. Malak is bleeding.

Zmire runs over to the hell hound and rips it off of Malak.

“I CAN’T HOLD IT!” Zmire shouts as the hell hound thrashes in his grasp.

The demon runs up to Malak and tries to bite him, but misses. The new demon summons a newer demon, and he joins the other one attacking Malak while the newest demon stands in the background. Fire has spread to most of the deck.

Maverick sends the dragon to stay with Mary. “Keep her safe” she orders the dragon.

Maverick swings her mace wildly around first at the hellhound {{careful not to hit Malak}} and then going toward the demons.

Maverick uses her ring to heal Malak.

Maverick goes for the throats of the demons. As she sees more appear she screams, “oh fuck a duck!! are u serious?!”
“Zmire toss the dog over the side of the boat! quickly! itll buy us some time!!”

John attempts to grapple all the demons at once seeing there size and says “Batting practice anyone?”

Normus waits for John to grapple the demons, and if John suceeds in grappling any of them,

Normus wants to try to attack its eyes again.

“Who’s that fellow?” Normus looks at McLovin.

Malak drinks his last healing potion.

once he does this he puts on his angel band and takes off into the air. He fires an arrow (normal) at one of the demons

Maverick shoves her cross into one of the demon’s body.

Malak launches into the air and fires an arrow into a demon’s shoulder. It takes 2 damage. Maverick bops the demon on the head with her cross. Nothing happens. Maverick takes 1 fire damage. (As well as Normus, John, and anyone on the burning ship.)

The demon realizes his prey is out of reach and scratches Maverick on the stomach, dealing 1 damage.

The demon in the background summons another demon and moves towards Maverick.

“This is absurd,” says Normus. “These demons won’t stop. Just give them your damn mask.”

Normus grapples Malak.

“Hopefully I’ll be rewarded greatly for this action.” Normus begins giggling.

(I question Normus’s ability to grapple me while I am flying above the ship.)

If Normus’s grapple is sucessful i attempt an anti-grapple check. If the anti-grapple check is sucessful, Malak kick’s Normus in the face

If Normus’s grapple fails Malak yells “This is pointless, let’s abandon this burning hulk! let the demon’s go down with the ship!” Malak fires a normal arrow at the head of demon the that spawned the newest abomination.

“I agree with Malak!! Let’s just go!!” Maverick waves her arms signaling him to come and pick her up. {{If Malak comes to get her off the ship she grabs a hold of Mary and tells the dragon to fly next to Malak.}}

Normus jumps to try and grapple Normus, but fails (Cause he has stubby legs). He splashes into the swamp water below. His heavy armor weighs him down, and begins to drown him.

Malak hits. The demon takes 4 damage. It explodes into a cloud of black smoke. The corporal out swims the hell hound and the two demons and manages to climb a stunted tree growing out of the reeds.

“Get out of there!” The corporal yells. “GET OFF THE SHIP!”

The flames deal another 1 damage to John and Maverick. Both are bleeding. One of the two demons on the deck attempts to scratch Maverick, but misses. The newest one summons more reinforcements.

HP totals

Malak: 12.:.12

Maverick: 3.:.12

Normus: 6.:.11

John: 3.:.12

John jumps in the water and helps who ever is still on the ship with thier swim checks.

Malak swoops down, grab’s Maverick and Mary, and takes off again from the burning hulk, shielding them from the demons’ attacks and fire if such damage comes their way.
Malak hauls Maverick and Mary into the air and set them down in the tree next to Zmire.

The Hell Hound gets bored and swims away while the Demons try to climb up after the group. Zmire give anyone that tries a kick in the face, knocking them into the water below. Eventualy, only the three still on the ship remains.

“Hey you! Could you tell us where the nearest lizard folk village is!?” Zmire shouts to Mclovin.

Maverick strokes Mary’s head saying “It’s okay sweetie, it’s alright.” Maverick inquires to the dragon, “Hello, friend. What happens to be your name?”

John dives into the water and rips open the armor that was holding Normus down. He drag his water logged carcass over to the tree, breathless, but alive (And still in possession of his helmet.)

The little dragon chirps something in Draconic.

John understands it as “Leon”.

John does another search check for anything that could heal him and his comrades.

Normus tries to swim to the tree where Zmire is. “I’m sorry, Malak. Please don’t kill me!”

Malak says " I would kill you now had I not more important things to deal with." Malak steps in front of Maverick and Mary taking out his knife. “If you make any effort to harm them, I will have no second thoughts after dispatching you.”

John mutters to himself “why do me even bother?” he then turns to Mclovin and says in draconic “where the hell did you come from brother? you know any where we can heal up? Are you alive?”

Maverick {{very unsure why now the dragon suddenly doesnt speak english}} asks Leon, “May i give u a hug?”

Maverick looks at Zmire and says “now what do we do?”

Mclovin tells Zmire where the nearest lizard fold village is based on what he knows. He asks if he can tag along with the group. He turns to John and tells him that he is alive and tells him of anywhere he knows of that they can heal.

Maverick asks John, “who is ur friend?” she looks McLovin over warily and then extends her hand. “I’m Maverick, and this is my daughter, Mary.”

John throws his arm over Mclovins and says whole heartedly “THIS is Johns kin. Someone who be like me and as a renewing not so smelly smell of humans.”

“Would it help to tell you that I’m not entirely human, John?” Malak says

Malak bows to McLovin “Pleased to make your acquaintance, sir…oh! almost forgot!” Malak removes his angel band.

John replies to malak “No because you still smelll.”

“Much obliged. I’m corporal Alexander Zmire of the twenty first artillery unit. If you come with us as our secondary guide, that would be great. All of my equipment was on that ship, including my maps. We are headed to the capital on a mission. I can’t really offer you any of the benefits the rest of the squad was offered, but I could at least buy your mount for you when we find a dealer.”

The group moves through the deep water and the tangling reeds; Zmire, Maverick, Mary and Normus have trouble because of the restricting level of their environment. Malak, John and Mclovin find that they have to constantly stop to wait for the others to catch up. Finally, the water becomes shallow enough to stand in, and the familiar site of a building on stilts comes into view.

“Alright everyone. I’m going to head for the general store and try and see if I can get a new map. I’ll leave you all to your own devices. I’ll get you when I’m done and then we can buy some mounts and get out of here.” Zmire says, climbing a latter up to a large series of scaffolds that provide access to all the buildings in the village.

John throws Malak back his luck dagger and gives him a pair of yellow goggles and does a search check for a place that sells armor such as the shoulder pads that he lost and maybe something that will cover the front part of his body specifically abdominal region. then after if he finds such a place he asks his comrades if they want to pool money in order to by mounts and reminds them of all the cool stuff he gave to them. He then asks for them not to give him an argument (about how i didnt need the stuff because john could have easily sold it and made quite a profit off of those items. O_o)

John sees a shop with a forge in the back, implying that Armor or weapons are sold there (This explanation was necessary, cause John can’t read.) Malak now has his dagger back and he now has darkvision.

Maverick searches the side of the river with Mary for some valuables. when finished she follows John up to the shop, very weary and carrying an even more tired Mary on her back humming a little tune to her, “someday we’ll all be gone but lullabys go on and on….”

Mclovin introduces himself and follows John to the armor shop.

Malak tells john that he will gladly help invest in some mounts. He does a spot check for a potion’s shop.

John asks the shop keep in draconic “can i get one… two pairs of bracers and two lamais?” John places 30 gold pieces in front of him then give the rest of the money to malak and says “Buy us riding turtle. is good mount. We will name him little john.”

Malak says “Hold up John, I will meet you at the armor store after I do some shopping of my own. You have my word.”

Normus does a gather information to discover just where he is. He then wants to seek out a prostitute.

(They never die, and that’s how you and I will be.)

John and Mclovin enter the armor shop. Several sets of swords and armor decorate the walls. A lizard man in an apron and a pair of goggles stands behind a long wooden table that serves as the business counter. As john sets the gold on the table, he goes into the back room and returns with a pair of bracers and two Lames.

“Anything Else I can get you boys?” The smith asks them in draconic.

Malak can’t read anything because all the signs are in draconic. He sees what looks like a very wizened old lizard woman holding several empty jars. She walks into a nearby shop.

Malak follows her. Inside, there are several pickled animal parts floating in jars. siting in a dark corner, filling the old lizard woman’s jars is Ezra, the bog witch.

Maverick finds 3 days worth of perishable trail rations.

Normus blunders around, asking random Lizard Folk in common, or clumsy Draconic about prostitutes. Most walk away.

Finaly, one tells him in common.

“We gotts no pros-tutes. Besides, No human live in dis village. You some kind o’ creep who want lizard women?”

Maverick stores the rations and hunts for Malak. She inquires to Leon about what its like to be a dragon and if he’d like to travel with the lot of them. “Mary will give u a lot of attention as well. Altho she may call u ‘kitty’. just a forewarning.”

john replies to the respectable lizard folk “no im good” then throws mclovin his armor. John does a spot check for Ezra.

Malak looks at Ezra and hesitates… after a moment or two of awkwardness he asks “Do you know where I can get some healing potions….?”

“Lizard folk!” Normus spits on the ground. “What repulsive inferior creatures! I hope they don’t rob me and do other low-class digusting things and stain my fine fabrics with their slime..”

Normus anxiously searches for McLovin and John, so hopefully they can keep him safe.

“Well, hello Child! Long time no see. You miss Ezra? I tease, but you want potions, eh? Ezra sell. You need some’tink to put dem in. Dey cure 10 hp.” Ezra says with a smile. The old lizard woman gathers her jars, thanks Ezra in draconic, then nods to Malak as she leaves.

The lizard man back hands Normus. He hisses and walks away, muttering something in Draconic. The group conveges in the center of the village. No one can find Malak.

“Mary darling, did u see which way Malak headed off too?” Maverick cooes, patting the childs head.

The little dragon purrs at Maverick asks him questions.
“I’m actually from the upper celestial realms. That how you were able to summon me. I died over a hundred years ago. You smell like someone from the upper celestial realms too. If you want me to stick around, I’m gonna need some food. It’s hard on my tummy with all this plane shifting. I like kids.” The wrymling says licking Mary.

“No lady Maverick, I didn’t see Mr. Fire angel.” Mary responds.

Malak offers his three flasks.

“Thank you very much. How much do I owe you? Ya know everybody in the country is friggin obsessed with this thing!” Malak says gesturing to his mask

“Yes, I happen to be from the celestial realms myself. its good to have someone around who doesnt think im taking drugs and imagining great spirtual apparitions.” Maverick smiles. “I will feed u the best i can my dear little Mouschi Leon. It is hard for us all to eat. But u are just as equal as the rest of us and ill be happy to share my rations of food with u.” She gives the little dragon a kiss. “Be nice to the little…..kitty…Mary. ok?” she ruffles her hair.

While john is bored out of his fricken mind waiting he goes hunting in the local swamp looking for something to kill and bring back to his hungry friends.

“Yes. It would seem dat dey Eye has followers in high places. You have done well in keepin it safe. How is dat lady you been travelin wit? Tree potions is 17 sliva.” Ezra responds.

Well I do my best to protect my legacy. She’s an oddball but she can be sweet some times. most helpful." Malak puts down 3 gold pieces “Keep the change”

“Much obliged, child. You take good care of dat mask now.” Ezra says.

A small rock hits one of the windows and Malak flinches and turns around. When he looks back, Ezra is gone.

The dragon nuzzles Maverick.

John notices a large Spider Eater corral. Several Spider Eaters are pened together, with their fly-like wings pegged together with rope.

John ventures out into the swamp. He doesn’t see anything until a dire rat pops out infront of him. John begins to stalk up on it, when a crocodile the size of a school bus bursts up from below the water and swallows it whole. It turns it’s massive head to John and gives a low gurgling hiss.

john (making sure his new armor is on first) attacks the croc head on yelling in draconic “BROTHER! your death is necessary for my survival! May the dragon god have mercy on your strength!”

Normus approaches Maverick’s wyrmling and snarls at it. “Dragons are repulsive creatures just like lizard folk. They should be magically hung like the rest of the peasants. It looks kind of delicious, though.”

Normus licks his mouth. “You’re all inferior to me!”

Normus may be going mad.

“You hurt Leon and ill remove ur man junk. just as a forewarning.” Maverick says ever so politely to Normus.

Malak says to himself. “What the fu… whatever….”

Malak exits the building and does a spot check for a place to purchase mounts. Malak checks what time it is.

search check for darkwood branches fit to make arrows out of.

The crocodile roars and slams john with its snout dealing 2 damage. It loses interest and waddles back into the swamp. John is bleeding.

Malak sees 5 branches fit to make arrows. It is 4:14 pm. Malak sees his comrades standing around a large corral filled with Spider Eaters. They twitch their head and mandibles covered in large shaggy manes of thick brown hair. Their dragonfly-like are tied together with silk rope to keep them from flying off. They have four long thick legs with a four clawed foot. Their six large, beady eyes stare blankly into space. A large stinger with a long pink tentacle that flickers in and out of the tip of the black needle.

Malak picks up the branches and rejoins his companions.

John (still doing search checks for anything to heal him) goes back to his comrades. He goes to malak points to the corral and says “buy” John does a gather info to find out if he could get a job anywhere.

Corporal Zmire approaches the group from behind and shouts to get their attention.

“Hey guys. I got the map and a replacement for most of my equipment. It’s a shame my crossbow didn’t make it. I’ll get a new one in Verpie. Checking out the Spider Eaters? Yeah, those things are bad news. During one of the boarder wars, Major Surolian took down an entire platoon of men with nothing but two Damascus Steel sabers and a Spider Eater mount. That was before they transferred him to artillery. I hear only elite Calvary gets to ride them in the army. They are insanely expensive to raise and train.” Zmire says and turns to Mclovin. “I’ve spent way to much money on this trip already, and as you probably know, lizard folk don’t take Army Sponsored I.O.U.s. I did buy you a Ram Turtle though.” The corporal says gesturing to one of two enormous tortoises lumbering behind him. "These guys aren’t very fast on land, but they swim faster than anything on the continent and they are cheap. They should keep the gators away too.

The Ram Turtle is characterized by it’s bright red shell and it’s green head and inner body. A pair of long swirled horns grow out of it’s head. Both the turtles have bit and bridle, but neither have saddles. They seem pretty unnecessary considering how wide and flat their shells are.

“I only bought one for myself and Mclovin. Sorry guys, this was a thank you to him for helping us in a tight spot. I’m completely out of cash. You are going to have to buy your own mounts.” The Corporal says jumping on to one of the turtles.

Malak goes to the corral owner and asks him his prices

“Egg 2,000 gp.

Mature 3,000 gp.

Saddle 3,000 gp.

Me figure if me sell saddle so high, it make up for training cost. Very good deal." The lizard man says.

Mclovin graciously thanks the corporal and gets on his turtle. If there’s room for others, he lets them on.

Malak says “I don’t know about you guys, but i don’t have nearly enough for anything this guy is selling. Apparently we’re walking.”

spot check to see if any place sells mounts that cost less than an arm and a leg, or maybe a boat of some kind.

Malak Spots a turtle pen. Most of them just lay there sort of lazily. Malak approaches the lizard woman in charge of the pen and asks what the prices on Ram Turtles are.

“20 gp. 5 sp for bit. You no buy turtle with bit, it just kind of sit there.” The lizard woman says pointing to the turtles in the pen. “I give you egg and bit for 15 gp. You gotta train turtle to go though. They carry two people.”

Malak says to the lizard woman " I’ll take three turtles and three bits." He gives her 62 gp.

“One is mine, one is for Maverick, the other is for John, someone’ll have to share for Normus.”

“What’s wrong with that Normus guy? Why is he such a creeper a-hole?” Leon asks Maverick.

“I call not Normus!! besides, i already have Mary.” She looks over at John, “John loves Normus, make him share.”

“Malak, would u like me to pay u back?”

Maverick addresses the dragon, “I don’t know what his problem is but he’s obsessed with royalty. Thinks he’s king or something when really he’s a peasant from a nasty shack. Watch your back with him, he’ll sell u down the river or kill u if it means he gets nobility outta it. And I don’t know about that helmet of his…..anyways he also gets hot and bothered quite easily, if u catch my drift. just steer clear. no one likes him but john anyways….”

as for mavericks comment john makes many jerking motions across his neck implying that he doesn’t want Normus anywhere near little john and if you’re crazy then you would assume that he was implying that he would bury you. John jumps on his ram turtle hugging it yelling “LITTTLE JOHN! Malak if you have rope john would be willing to drag normus.”

Maverick grins maliciously, “oh dragging him sounds marvelous.”

Malak says “Well i have no rope, but I do have a chain. John I can’t read draconic. Can you point me to a place where I can purchase some rope?”

John looks at Malak with question and says “Reeeeead?” john does a gather information check for a place that sells rope.

“Oh, they sell rope at the general store.” Zmire says pointing to one of the buildings he entered. “Why do you guys need it?”

“well normus is crazy now so we dont want him on mounts cause he might stab our mounts in back cause HE CRAZY!!!” John points malak in the direction of which he needs to go.

“Can we all rest before we continue? I feel very weak.” {{3hp will do that to u ya knw??}}

“Weeeell….. The Major will be pissed that I didn’t file my daily report (My magical communiqué was on the ship too….) but what the hell. If those weirdoes in the bowlers show up again, we’re dead. If it’s alright with everyone, we could spend the night in the village. We’ll be out of here by the crack of dawn tomorrow.” Zmire says.

“I think itd be in our best interest to take a rest. especially in a village where two of our comrades are friendly with the natives and speak their language. John, McLovin, cud u find us an inn or something? pretty preasee??” Maverick asks kindly.

John does a gather information to find accommodations for 6-7 people/lizard folk.

Malak says “yes, i think that I would be in agreement.”

Mclovin assists johns search and asks where we’ll leave the turtles. If necessary, he searches for a turtle housing place.

John asks a lizard man about housing for the night. The man directs him to a large hut on the east side of the village. Outside of the hut, a lizard woman with a large bundle of rope sits weaving strands out of a thing gossamer thread. A necklace with a large spider medallion hangs from her neck.

“What you want?” She asks as John and the rest of the group approach her.

john awnsers in draconic “If you dont mind the smell me and these humans need a place to stay. Oh and our turtles. I know its a lot to acomidate for but please if you could.”

The lizard woman smiles broadly, revealing two rows of razor sharp teeth.

“OH! You need a place to stay, yes? Izla have room. You come, yes?” The lizard woman ushers the group inside of the hut. Several tables with monstrous spiders the size of a mans face line the walls of the main parlor. The arachnids are lying belly up on the tables with their legs stuck to the surface with some sort of adhesive. They thrash wildly trying to free themselves. Their fangs click aggressively.

“You farm spiders for Izla, yes? You do this, Izla feed you, let you stay the night. If want to get thread, stand here. You wanna milk spider, stand there.” Izla says gesturing to one side of the room, then the other.

(Milking spider venom and farming spider silk both require handle animal checks. If you want to string silk, your also going to need a slight of hand check.)

Mclovin goes to the farm spider silk side of the room and asks for any advice when farming

Malak does a handle animal check, (wild empathy) to farm spider thread. He asks for permission to make some spider silk rope.

“I want no part of that things mouth!!” Maverick exclaims. “ill farm silk.” handle animal check and {{right??}} slight of hand check. Maverick asks Malak to use wild empathy should anything go wrong. Maverick warns Mary to stay away from the spiders.
“I’LL KILL YOU ALL! WHEN I GET MY LEGS UN-STUCK, I WILL DESTROY YOOOOOOOU! I AM FEAR, I AM THE SPIDER!” Malak is able to detect from the spider

“You calm spiders like this.” Izla says stroking the spider’s underbelly with her clawed finger. The spider slowly stops squirming and lays still. She then picks up several dark wood sticks with groves carved into them and hands them to Mclovin, Malak and Maverick. She demonstrates how to stick the silk to the stick, and wind it out without breaking it.

Mclovin scrapes the spider’s stomach with his claw and it slowly calms down. He attempts to wind the string, but it breaks twice.

Malak scrapes the spider’s stomach and it stops moving completely. It starts purring. He flawlessly winds the string onto the stick.

Maverick tries to subdue the spider, but it continues to thrash on the table. She can’t get the string on the stick because the spider is still squirming.

“You in mask, you very good at spinning. You handle spider well.”

Malak says “Thank you, I kinda like animals….”he says. “I was wondering if I could purchase and of this spider’s silk to make rope from, or prehaps I might buy some from you.”

Malak proceeds to spin more silk.

“Guys you need to stroke it, calm it down…. Wild Empathy won’t exactly help right now…”

The more the spiders struggles the more horrified Maverick becomes.

Mclovin asks for Malak’s help

John looks at the spider as its furry coat reminds him of the coat of a nerf. He then says “Silk boring. John milk spider.” John tries to rub the spiders belly/junk (to make it calm down more) and reaches for the fangs. But then realizes that the spider is upside down and that in order to put it in a cup he would have to flip it. John knows that cups dont work that way. HES TRIED! John tears. John questions “how john do dis?”

Maverick tiptoes toward the spider and gawks at it. With utter disgust she rubs its belly, shuddering. “nice scary spider. niiicee boy. please dont eat me.”

“Very good. Spinners fill three sticks. Mask fill five, and Izla give him rope free.” Izla says setting extra sticks down by each spider. “John no use cup, John use jar.” Izla says handing john a jar covered in animal hide. She sticks the hide into the spider’s fangs and venom slowly pumps into the jar. “Fill five. What about human in fancy hat?”

Malak fills five sticks.

Mclovin fills his three.

Maverick only manages to fill one. Leon crawls off her shoulder and slides over to the spider.

“Need help, mistress?”

John rubs the spider, but for some reason, it continues to thrash. John tries to get the drum on it’s fangs anyway. He succeeds, and the venom pumps twice as fast. He fills the jars faster than anyone.

“Good. Girl finish spin. Everyone get food. Be back.” Izla says disappearing into another part of the hut. She returns with a whole roasted cow. She wheels it out on a large wooden platform. It is served on weeds. “Little girl, you hungry?”

Mary nods vigorusly.

“Eat up. Izla has rope to weave. Good night.”

The time is 6:30

“I cant seem to get this disgusting thing to coroperate dear Leon!! ick!!” Maverick sighs. she attempts again. “i dont suppose u knw how to retrieve spider silk??”
Malak eats from the cow.

Malak drinks from his canteen. Malak leaves the building and retrieves water from the river refilling his canteen. He casts Burning palms to bring the water inside the canteen to a boil in order to sterilize it.

Malak re-enter’s Izla’s home and does a craft check to make arrows out of the 5 darkwood branches he found, using his core arrowheads (5 of the 7 he has)

After all of this Malak says a prayer. and goes to sleep.
Mclovin eats from the cow, drinks from the river, urinates, and then goes to sleep.
“Not really, but maybe I can get her to cooperate.” Leon say crawling on top of the spider’s belly. He licks the spider, then steps off. The spider convulses twice as violently, then lays still. “Try it now.”

Maverick completes her last two sticks.

Malak successfully crafts 5 +2 Darkwood/Core arrows.

View
Day 1
The Mission

John G, Maverick, and Malak Firestone awaken in a small dark room. It smells faintly of burnt hair. Each one attempts to stand, but is unable to because they are shackled to the floor. The stone under you is cold and hard. A single window from high up in the rooms incredibly tall ceiling casts a single ray of light. The outline of a reinforced door is faintly visible at the far end of the room. While Maverick and John struggle to make out details in the dank dimness, Malak manages to see the entire room in perfect clarity. Rat sized reptilian creatures with red fins on their backs scurry about the room clicking to each other in Draconic. Only John understands them as they say,

“Lets eat the fingers off the mammals, I think their still to groggy to fight back.”
“You go ahead, something seems odd about the female. I think she might have the Magic Rot.”

Suddenly, A cherub that only Maverick can see, slowly floats down from the ceiling.

“Hello Maverick” The cherub says coyly. “Sorry about the condition of the living quarters, but this was the best host body we could find for you. You may not remember from crossing the void to come back to the material world, but god has a mission for you, and it involves the mask that that boy in the corner is wearing.” The cherub explains, pointing to Malak. " It may look unassuming, but you must retrieve and destroy it. If it falls into the wrong hands, it could be used to destroy the universe." I don’t really have time to explain, but if you are unable to get it away from him, you must protect it at all costs. Remember, If you die in this body, you’re soul will be shredded as well. Good luck!" Before she can say anything, the cherub vanishes.

John is clothed in brown cotton pants and nothing else. A black leather hat he was wearing has fallen off his head and is now lying next to him. He has some fish bones in his back pocket.

Maverick is clothed in a ratty yellow-green dress, blouse, and torn black fishnet stockings. She smells herself and is revolted. It is easy to assume that she is inhabiting the body of a peasant. She manages to find some water on the floor and see that the peasant she has become is very much like her in terms of looks. The only obvious difference is that her hair is now solid dirty blonde, her nails look like that of a normal human’s, and her skin is now pink. Her eyes however, remain the same. She has some string and a half eaten loaf of bread tucked down her shirt.

Malak has been stripped down to the base cloths he always wears. His leather armor, bow, quiver and adventuring gear have been taken from him. Their captor, however did forget to check his boot for the Kukri you have strapped to your thigh.

“ra ra fingers…. ra ra eat. fingers for bones?” John mutters, half awake.

Malak rises, notices that Kaylee is not with him and becomes alarmed, and calls for Kaylee in Elvish. He immediately attempts to pick the locks that he has on him. Malak Struggles to pick the locks, but is ultimately fails. After giving up he manages to retrieve his dagger. Just then, the two lizards come up to Malak and begin trying to bite off his fingers. John attempts to join them, but his chains are too short. A human male in a guard outfit walks by and yells into the room.

“Hey, shut up in there! The captain will be in to see you in a minuet.”

“Me nible on general’s fingers.” John retorts.

Maverick forgets she is shackled to the floor, tries again to rapidly stand, and falls on her ass. Quietly she mutters a prayer to God in hopes He will release her from bondage.

As Maverick utters her prayer, a short man with a ridiculously large hat enters the room. The short man is dressed in an artillery officer’s uniform and has one hand inside his green frock coat. A Saber hangs from his belt, and it drags on the floor next to his shiny knee high black boots because of his 5’ 3’’ stature. He stares at Malak with a wide grin on his face. Two more soldiers enter the room and remove the shackles from everyone in the room except Malak.

“So your the bounty hunter from beyond the blue sea. I heard you made a few enemies in Azure, that’s why you and your sister came to our fair land of Ranpurre.” The Officer says slyly. “I’m going to make you a deal. If you’re smart and you cooperate, we will make this job very much worth your while. If not….” He muses with a widening grin. “Lets just say that our prison systems are not celebrated for our safety. Your precious little sister might fall to some harm, or maybe even affronted by a sex crazed male prisoner due to a paper work error.”

As the short officer finishes speaking, one of his subordinates steps forward.

“This is an undercover assignment.” The subordinate says. “You will be taking these two double agents to the head quarters of a growing rebellion that might pose a threat to our local monarchy. You will infiltrate their head quarters and eliminate their leader. this will leave the king with the idea that Captain Surolian is on his side. This will leaving unsuspecting for the coupe de tat we are staging.”

“If you tell anyone about our plans, we will kill you’re sister out right. The choice is yours my friend.”

Malak, after an attempt to punch the lizards eating at his fingers, replies begrudgingly;

“How can I be garunteed that my sister shall remain safe. I shall not serve you without knowlege of her whereabouts. If you garuntee her safety, and return me my things the deed shall be done.” Malak does a spot check on the guards, and the reactions of Mavarick and John G. The lizards shriek in Draconic, and scamper out of the room while the door is open.

The captain grins. "You’re a man after my own heart, bounty hunter. I really must apologize for the rudeness of your arrival here, but I wanted to get to you before you gained any publicity. Not even the king himself knows that this sting operation exists. As soon as this mess is all said and done I would like to offer you a commission, that is if you can pull off the hit.

As for the subject of your sister, she is fine. We aren’t holding her in the Gastel, and we are making ever effort to ensure that she’s as comfortable as possible. If you would like to see her I can arrange a quick meeting to prove my sincerity. Now, it says in your file that you two normally work as a team. Unfortunately, I can not allow her out of the cell for I would not only lose my bargaining chip, but I would also lose your main motivator. I hope these two can help you. The lizard isn’t to bright, but Joan will definitely come in handy." He says pointing to Maverick.

“Remember Joan, you’ll be sent to the executioner if you don’t cooperate. Stealing a bagget from a noble is a serious crime in this city.”

The subordinate officers of the captain are also wearing artillery uniforms, but of lower rank. Both have bags under their eyes, most likely due to lack of sleep. They carry short spears tipped with explosive heads and scourge whips that hang from their belts.

Maverick creates no facial reaction, instead staring soulessly at the lower ranking officers, which appears to make one particularly uneasy. she gages the situation, untrusting of the deal set before Malak but more untrusting of Malak himself. Maverick trusts no man, especial one with no eyes to read their reactions. However, with the situation, options are minimal and Maverick agrees. However, she awaits the guards to leave to set her true more complicated plans into action.

One of the subordinate officers nervously asks the captain,

“What’s wrong with her eyes?”

The captain squints.

“I think she might have the Magic Rot…….”

Malak nodds and says “Allow me to see my sister and I shall work for you. Their leader is as good as dead. What information can you give me on my target? And are you returning me my items?”

Malak notes Maverick’s nod, and looks at John. “I can catch you food if you work with me, and pie if your good.” He offers the Lizardman.

The captain laughs.
“Your cooperation relieves me greatly. I was afraid that you’d hold this whole mess against me.” He says with a snap of his fingers. The two subordinate officers approach Malak, and release his shackles.

“We’ll take you for a quick meeting to see your sister. Once that’s done, we’ll brief you, and return your gear.”

The captain turns to Maverick.

“Maybe we should take Joan to the Quack Doctor. Ever since Duke Sumaeritk decided to cut our budget, we can’t afford to pay a real doctor, but at least the Quack says he knows how to cure magic rot. He says it involves cutting off your Uvula.”

“noooo my lizard friends come back… me want fingers… me want…” John falls asleep and dreams about his herd of nerfs and how they graze the feilds so freely. He wishes so hard he even starts to think that he was there in his own fantesy. He mumbles in his sleep.

One of the soldiers kicks John awake.

“Get up, retard.”

The captain waves, and the guards escort John, Maverick, and Malak out of the room.

Maverick becomes angered at the guards who step towards her. She has no idea what Magic Rot may be but is sure she doesnt have it. “Please, don’t touch me.” she mummers politely to the guard who grabs her arm. The guard laughs at her audacity and grips her tighter. “Let me walk on my own.” Maverick hisses. As the guard obtains a more suitable grip, Maverick turns shoving her hand—as if a ghost through a wall—through the guards chest and tears out his heart, crushing it in her palm delicates. She smiles at the horror around her. “What? I asked nicely.” Other guards begin to release their grip to come for her. The captain reaches for his saber, but cautiously relaxes his grip on the weapon. His gaze on Maverick is icy.

“I think I’m beginning to understand that you’re not Joan, are you?” The captain says looking up and down at Maverick, examining her. “This is a hassle. I’m going to have to get more guards. We will make a detour to the equipping station. While we are there, I may as well return you’re gear Mr. Firestone.”

John stares at the fingers of the dead gaurd and can not hold back his primal instincts to nibble on the corpses fingers. John would describe the taste as salty with a touch of chili powder “yes… yes…. healthy nerfs would appreiciate this wonderful specimen. But not the unhealthy ones because they run in circles to much.”

As the captain continues talking. Maverick feels a slight tap an her shoulder. She turns around, and nearly smacks her head into the cherub from earlier.

“Maverick, you have to be careful! The more you just used broke off a piece of the soul of the girl’s body you are using! If you don’t pray for you’re divine powers, the energy will com from hers or your soul. If you need to use a power like that quickly, you can do it three times a day with out killing both of you. The first one will be from her soul, then half of hers and half of yours, then the last power will be from you directly. I have orders to stick by you if you need help.”

“I find this extremely annoying u know? and your flitting about my head is going to make this no better.” Malak and John G look puzzled at Mavericks mumbling to the air. “however i appreciate your concern and will not pray damnation on you.” Maverick finishes.

“You’re kinda a bitch for someone who’s supposed to be a pretty high up Heavenly official,” the cherub murmers.

“I’m sorry I don’t find being taken prisoner to be my idea of a lovely fucking day!” Maverick retorts. everyone stares, they continue walking. “i am not a schizo….” Maverick mutters to herself.

“Hey, I’m here now and so are you. Make the best of it.” The cherub says irately .

The captain turns a corner and opens a large steel door just down the hall. Everyone is herded in as he orders several men to come with him.

The room is similar to a parking garage with a large counter near the door where everyone entered from. Rows and rows of weapons and armor are lined up against the wall behind glass screens. The captain mutters something to a half-orc standing behind the counter. The half-orc ducks down and sets Malak’s equipment down.

“While we are here, is there any other equipment you might need for the mission?”

“Me want sickle and a trusty nerf.” John says while gurguling what ever was in his mouth at the time.

The half-orc stares blankly at John, and runs behind the glass to get the sickle.

“Remember our deal John, the nerfs come after you help us with this mission.”

grumble “fine…. what we do?”

“Before we get into the mission, we still have a few things to do. Does anyone need anything?” The captain asks.

“NO! NO ONE NEEDS ANYTHING BUT THE LOVE OF NERFS IN THEIR VIENS!”

Malak, observes the combat ability the curious female peasant whom he was imprisoned with. He notes the inhuman movement in comparison to previous human fighters he observed. “As soon as I see Kaylee, I garuntee my word Captain, that you will have no trouble from me at least” Malak remarks casting a glance at Maverick.

“That’s good to hear. We’ll see her as soon as everyone has their equipment. Is there anything I can get either of you?” The captain asks Malak and Maverick.

Although there are no windows in the corridor, The equipment station has a small picture window that allows a great deal of sunlight in. Malack positions himself to get a look at the sun. From this angle, he uses his elven knowledge to determine that it is at least 6 pm. The sun is almost completely set. In half an hour, it will be night.

The captain notices what Malak is doing.

“If you wanted to know the time, you could have just asked me. I see it’s getting late. We’re going to have to move this along.” The captain says. He snaps his fingers again, and one of the lower ranking officers hands him a hide envelope. He begins walking, and the soldiers herd all involved out of the equipment station.

List of equipment given to Malack

One Darkwood bow (+1) {Returned}
Quiver with 20 arrows {Returned}
One suit studded leather armor {Returned}
One Burlap carrying bag (Returned}
One box of matches (50) {Returned}
One canteen {Returned}
One Compass {Returned}
One Traveling Blanket {Returned}
One Torch {Returned}

One healer’s kit, {Small}
One pair of gloves of storing

“Now, The man we are after goes by the name of Ringgar. He is a mysterious individual, shrouded in rumors and inconsequential bullshit. Some say he’s an avatar, sent by the old gods to pry up the boards of the new king’s regime. Others say, he’s a madman trying to plunge the country into anarchy. What ever he is, we need him dead. Now, if you’ll look here,” The captain says pointing on a map from the envelope. "You can see we are in the boarder city of Torson. We need you to Zula, the town right next to the capital. You can take these. The captain says handing a map to everyone.

“Your orders, Eliminate Ringgar. One of my cadets will be accompanying you to keep in touch with me via magical communiqué. Now, I know you’ll want to see your sister Malak, so we’ll turn here for a quick visit, to prove my honest means.”

The captain turns down another corridor, and climbs a flight of stairs.

“I managed to pull some strings, we are keeping her in the cells reserved for captured royalty of other nations. She should be quite comfortable.”

The captain stops in front of a large oak door with metal bars. He steps aside, and allows Malak to look in. Kaylee sits on a large bed with purple silk sheets. She is fiddling with a carving knife.

John G starts to nibble on his sickle and then shouts “Waffles!” and then continues to nibble on his weapon of his choice.

He turns to the Captain. “Very well, I accept your bounty. I shall depart for Zula immeadiately.”

Turning to “Joan” and John G. he states “I prefer to work on a confidential basis, as I am sure my client here would prefer as well. So I offer you an ultimatum. You can work with me as my client has so politely asked, as I reiterate my client’s politeness. I assure you that this choice is the wiser of the two as I believe we can most certainly benefit each other, consequently there are opportunities to take advantage of. Or you may refuse of course. However if you refuse, I can not allow others to know of my mission, I shall consider you an obstacle to my goals and approach this situation as I feel adequate. However, I sense that I will be the last of your issues.” Malak refers to the Captain. “The choice is yours, I do hope we can work together.”

He calls out to Kaylee in elvish.

Kaylee, It is me, Malak.

Big Brother! What’s going on!?” Kaylee jumps up and shouts. She runs to the door.

Stay on guard and stay alive, I shall return for you as soon as possible. I have a hit, until I complete this hit you must remain here. If you are to pick up news that I have been lost, it is essential that you retrieve my mask and avenge me. You know what to do. I love you. Stay safe.

Okay. I understand. I’m not worried, The blood of you’re targets will nourish the soil. Take you’re own advice and stay well. I love you too.

Maverick looks coldly at Malak in firm distaste.

“I don’t trust any of you as far as i can throw you. However I do agree, options are indeed limited. I require a sort of….deal, if u will. Allow me to mark the seal of Chi-Ro upon ur palm and confirm that if u are to betray me ur soul shall be shredded into nonexistence. Its the only way I shall help you, and between myself and lizard boy, you will most certainly require my help. In return I promise you all the protection God wills and other various abilities of mine to be put to ur use. Will u except?” Maverick solemnly asks, her eyes shifting red to calm blue. She stares directly into into the hidden eyes of the mask, hoping for a momentary glimspe of Malak’s eyes, and recieves none.

“your god is nothing compared to the dragon god, and there is no palm thing is there captain man?” John says in between bites.

“God…There is no ‘God’ There is but the sun and the moon! I have no belief in your God and lies. The only protection I’ll get from your ‘God’ is the protection of my own capability. However your abilities force me to see that you have some power, of the sorts, its clearly from the moon. Call it God, call it Dragon whatever, Moon and Sun same difference. I know not of this Chi-Ro, but i have no soul to lose. soul…. hah! we become dirt for others to feed off of in the cycle of life. but if all it take’s is a swiggly on my hand for your assistance, I’ll accept.”

“me don’t like eating dirt. dragon god don’t make me eat dirt does he captain man?”

“I don’t think im going to like any of you.” Maverick mumbles in her low voice. Maverick however prays to God in asking for the deal she made to be comfirmed for her own comforts.

The back of Maverick’s hand starts glowing.

“That’s weird…..” The cherub says staring At Mavericks hand. “That looks like an energy seal.”

“Alright, enough. John, you already agreed to this, so I know you’ve got no more say in the matter.” The captain mutters in frustration.

“To the entity residing in the body of Joan, I know you have no interest in the affairs this girl had previously been pursuing, but you must understand that you are a tenant, not the owner of her body. She had a previous engagement, and it would make everyone’s life much simpler if you would cooperate with me. The choice is still yours, but I’m telling you, It would be better if you helped me.” The captain says with a malicious glint in his eye. He promptly turns and addresses John and Malak.

“Gentlemen, this is Corporal Zmire, he will be my eyes and ears for you on this mission. We’ll supply you with a coach to take you to the edge of the swampland. From there on, John will lead you through the swamp. Good luck, and God speed. Dragon god speed to you Mr G.” The captain says with a smile.

“i haven’t a clue who Joan is or what her plans may be, but my plans have now consequently become yours, until further notice.” she crosses her heart and smiles maliciously. “let’s move along shall we? this scenery bores me.” Maverick suggests in a playful voice.

DRAGON GOD, DRAGON GOD, DRAGON GOD!!!!!!!!” chants jonh in response. " me very excited for swamp. me kin there." john smiles showing a long row of sharp scummy teeth.

The corporal nods to Maverick and extends his hand to Malak. Malak shakes his hand.

“A pleasure. I’ve read you’re profile, I heard you once split a staff in half with a bow and arrow from 200 feet away.”

The three are led out of the building, to see that it is a large fortress that is located at the foot of an enormous manufacturing facility. A painted green and blue coach stands in front of the three, pulled by three brown chargers. Ten guards are stationed at the front gate of the fort. It is night. The corporal squints in the darkness, when a young boy in cotton nickers runs up with a match. He strikes it against the spiked wheels of the coach, and lights several lamps hanging on the sides. He flicks the match to the ground, and clamors up into the driver’s seat.

“Aw rawight! Les’ Getta Move On!” The boy says in an obnoxiously loud voice. The Corporeal Zmire starts to open the door, when the driver begins screaming,

“Cor’pal Zim, GOBLINS!”

“And?” The Corporeal asks with a tinge of annoyance.

“Awy, don’t wannum, stealin’ me tiers again!”

Zmire swears under his breath. He reaches inside the coach and brings out a heavy repeating crossbow and a steel-bound wooden paddle.

“I don’t have time for this…” he growls.

GOBLINS!!!!” John runs in and attacks the goblins with his sickle with red fury in his eyes. “GOBLINS GOOD TO EAT. GET IN JOHNS BELLY!”

John sticks one of the goblins in the back of the neck with his sickle. Malak draws his bow and fires an arrow at the most threatening goblin to him, sticking the creature in the chest.

John grabs the goblin by the hair and slices the neck of the goblin with his sickle. John screeches “GLUGALAGU” before his second attack at the neck again only this time to bite in order to suck out the juices. Just as john opens his mouth to bite the goblin’s throat, it screams something in goblinoid, and shoves a pointy stick into Johns mouth. John first screaming in pain continues to chomp down and bites down on the pointy thing. Frustrated by this john grabs his sickle and repeatedly sticks it in the head of the goblin. John continues to bite on the stick, but that only lodges it deeper into his mouth, he takes 1 damage. John ignores all of this for he knows that only one thing matters, and that is to return to his nerfs. John runs and attacks the next goblin with his sickle aiming for the throat.(his favorite place to kill a goblin if you have not noticed) “ME WANT GOBLIN BLOOD, MORE, MORE GOBLIN BLOOD!”

Two goblins manage to get close enough to Maverick to stab at her with a a spear and swing at her with an axe. One stabs the spear into maverick’s leg, and the other misses while wildly swinging the axe. Maverick takes 1 point of damage.

The corporal swings his cross bow into place, and mows down three goblins. He tosses the empty cartridge, and drops the crossbow. He swings the heavy steel paddle into an on guard position.

Three healthy goblins run towards Malak.

Malak draws another arrow out of his quiver, takes a deep breath to steady his aim and fires it at the head of first goblin he shot. It blows through the goblin’s skull and out the back in an explosion of gore.

John joins Malak as the three remaining goblins have swarmed him.

Zmire has run to the aid of Maverick.

With elven speed, Malak swings the bow around into a secure position on his back. He draws his Kukri Hunting knife and slashes at the throat of the nearest Goblin. Malak swings his knife, scratching the goblin up from the side of it’s throat, loping off it’s left ear. The goblin screams, and in maddened retaliation, smashes Malak in the stomach with it’s club. A sharp pain seizes Malak’s chest at the air is forced out of his lungs. The second goblin swings at Malak with a broken saber, but can’t manage to cut through Malak’s leather armor. Malak gasps to catch his breath, and holds his knife in a defensive position before his attempts his next attack, which is to crouch and swing his leg around in order to trip his enemies. The bloody goblin trips, but the undamaged one manages to jump over Malak’s leg and gash him in the arm. Malak takes 1 damage.

John Hits. He smashed the goblin to the ground, and decapitates the little monster with one clean swipe.

Maverick, limbing badly, attempts to stand. She prays to God for power of an power of the Bethelhem star—a large ball of energy that cuts straight through watever it touchs and aims for the goblin near Malak.

Just as the words come from maverick’s lips, crackling white energy springs froth from her hand. One of the goblins suddenly drops his spear (Still lodged in Maverick’s leg) And jumps on her arm. He attempts to bite into her hand and is promptly electrocuted. The second goblin Smashes his axe into maverick’s chest in vengeance of his dead friend. She takes 3 damage.

The corporal winds up, and smashes the goblin in the head with all his might, sending the goblin’s brains splattering like a cantaloupe. Maverick is now covered in blood and goblin brains. John decides to settle down and have a nice goblin dinner. he gathers the dead goblins he has killed and starts to munch. john decides that the goblins that he is eating is not very tasty so he decides to help his comrade malic. “GOBLIN NOT TASTY MUST KILL MORE!”

Malak, leaps towards the bloodied goblin he just tripped attempting to delve his knife into its throat. leaving the one he just damaged for John to disembowel. The Bloodied Goblin watches in horror as John and Malak each grab him by the arm, and yank as hard as they can the goblin’s sockets dislocate, and finally, the arms are yanked out all-together. The goblin screams in agony, and slowly and painfully bleeds to death. The undamaged goblin is so terrified by what he sees, he drops his weapon, and runs screaming.

John satisfyed by this starts to lick Maverick’s face in order to taste the salty brains covering her face.

The brains taste incredible. John can’t stop licking Maverick’s face because the brains are so tasty. Maverick feels like she is being slapped repeatedly by a thin, two-headed snake.

Some of the guards from the front gate have run over to Maverick and the corporal.

“Are you alright sir? I’m sorry we didn’t come sooner, we thought you could handle this. When the little lady started getting hurt, we rushed over. Would you like to see the Quack Doctor?” One of the guards ask.

No, it’s alright, thank you. I’m really glad you stayed out of this, actually, otherwise, we would have had to file a report. I’m running late for an important mission from first Artillery Captain, Bonray Surolian.

“You mean the half-halfling?”

“Yes. (Don’t ask him about it though, he’s very sensitive.) Just throw us some clean bandages and disinfectant for the road, we don’t have time. We have to get to the check point soon.”

One of the guards runs back to the fort, and quickly returns with clean bandages and a chemical similar to rubbing alcohol. The corporal orders the driver to take them while he picks up and dusts off his heavy repeating Crossbow. Everyone climbs in the cab, and the driver flicks the reins. The horses are off to a trot.

“My apologies for the quaintness of our ride. They haven’t managed to lay railroad tracks down yet in this part of the country.”

Everyone is bandaged. All PCs (Player Characters) gain back one hp. The corporeal reloads his crossbow, and cleans the brains off his paddle.

After about an hour of riding, the carriage comes to a stop.

“Wel’, Th’s ’bout fa es awe gew.” The driver boy hollers.

As everyone climbs out, you see a second boy (Identical to the first) standing in a large boat, floating in the murky waters of dark, deep, wide swamp. The boat is tied to a long wooden dock that stretches out from the muddy murk to the solid ground the coach is standing on. The boat itself is a long, wide, flat bottom tour boat with room for six people. Three tent bags are slumped against the right side.

The swamp itself is enormous, stretching for miles and miles on end, with relatively no breaks as far as the eye can see. It is more of a foreboding mangrove swamp; full of life. Very, very deadly life. It’s a temperate marsh, and mosquitoes the size of a human pinkie finger swarm all around as bats and other nocturnal predators dart about devouring them. The canopy of the tree line is about three stories tall. The thick, ebony trunks of darkwood trees house hundreds of glowing eyes that disappear in torch light. Big brown shapes drift around in the black water.

Maverick catches a quick glance of a long, black shadow that slips into the water. The cherub shutters.

Zmire grabs a lamp on the carriage and walks onto the dock next to the boat. He hangs it on a long pole stuck onto the bow.

“Ya gotst tree people!? Awy tot yew said dare wass ony two!” the boat driver exclaims.

The corporal frowns. “Sorry everyone, we only have two extra tents. You’ll have to decide amongst yourselves who shares with who.” he says, lugging his own backpack, tent, and bedroll out of the carriage.

With that, the coach speeds away.

Malak can see 100 feet around him as if in broad daylight. Low light vision (With lanterns)

John encumbers no visual penalties, but everything is in black and white. Dark vision.

Everyone else can only see twenty feet around them, and it is dim light.

View
Evening 4
Drug trips and Shenanigans

Everyone manages to get six hours of rest in their rooms (Or garbage heaps) and awaken refreshed and healed.

“So Shourecrox is trying to use the artifacts to get god powers. What a tool.” The cherub says to maverick after she wakes up.

The time is 8:30 pm. The Sun has set. The city however, still hums with activity.

Malak divides the meat into three pieces and eats his portion.
Maverick eats her portion of meat and hands the last to Mary, “eat up hun.”

Maverick walks down to the tavern and outside. spot check for the jewler man in the store next door.
Malak follows Maverick down the stairs and assists her spot check.
Despite the meat, everyone (But Normus and John) are still hungry. Maverick spots the jewelry store very easily. The windows are busted out, and iron bars have replaced them.

“Lady Maverick, are you and Mr. Fire Angel married?” Mary asks

Maverick enters the shop and looks about for the owner. As she does she explains to Mary, “Well, no my dear. But you see it is very strange for a lady like me and a man like Mr. Firestone to be traveling with a young child and not be married. It makes it very dangerous for us. So we play pretend in front of some people to be safe. So if anyone asks I’m your mommy and he’s your daddy. Do u understand?” Maverick whispers quietly to Mary.

“Oooooh. Okay!” She replies and smiles sweetly

Maverick enters the jewelry store to see a Halfling under a net standing behind the counter.

“Oh… Hello. I don’t suppose you’re here to rob me too. The royal guard showed up to stop a lizard man from robbing me blind, then got distracted and let him escape. When I complained, they knocked six of my teeth out. They didn’t even have the decency to get this net off of me.”

Malak and Maverick can tell from the smell of dirt and Sublioth intestines that the rope belongs to John.

“oh geez” Maverick says taking the net off the man {{im keeping this net, btw}} “I’m actually here for the opposite sir, I would love to sell this tiara here to you. and if u throw in a few extra coins I’ll heal your teeth and wounds for u.” Maverick says with a genuine smile, her eyes a cool blue.

“Would you? That would be great. I could give you 102 Platinum for the tiara and 20 Gold for my medical expenses.”

Maverick agrees to sell the tiara and uses her ring to heal his teeth/wounds/etc.

Malak looks at Maverick and says "Let’s go get some food.”

Before they enter the inn he says to Maverick. “A meal for the three of us is going to cost 100 platinum."

“Alrighty,” after maverick gets her money she follows after Malak, Mary in tow.

As john wakes up he wonders what mischief he can cause while he is up so he bites the heads off of one of the rats and writes on the wall with its blood “be back soon” which really accidentally looks like some sort of cult symbols because john can’t read or write. He walks out carrying his sickle and his room key and hat. Search check for a place to gamble.

John runs up to Malak and Maverick screaming

“ME IN DREAM WORLD! ME IN DREAM WORLD!!!”

Malak says “Hi John… um glad to hear it.”

Suddenly all john can see is exactly what happens in “Where the Wild Things Are” except he’s one of the characters. So he begins to scratch himself for he allways wondered what it would be like to be fuzzy. Suddenly a giant spagetii monster flys through the sky chanting “God is real! Its true i met him!”. As john watches this spectical he eats from the meat bushes on the ground and drinks from the blood of his enemys in an enemys scull. The ground turns to lava and carrages and boats turn to tear drops falling side ways. As john trys to sit down he watches the entire sun rise and set as he does. Suddenly teddy bears cry for him asking to play, but john cant reach them. Johns skin turns to bugs as he flys through the beer condensted clouds. Then comes across the realization that the other side of take out is just mildew on rice and that back in the day a man was not considered to be fully grown. All of this passes by john at light speed as he screems “IM IN THE DREAM WORLD!”

Maverick cocks her head to the side and says to John, “Hmm, yes i see…”

Then she hands 100 platinum to Malak, “You pay. I’m a silly woman remember?”

John finally gets a grip on reality and sobers up.

“Well I see you sold the Tiara. What kind of meat do you want?” The Bar owner says

Malak replies to the bar tender “Turkey if you got it.”

“All yours Pal.”
Maverick, Malak, and Mary are satiated for the day (Full and hydrated).

Maverick takes this opportunity since Mary is now full of food and water, to heal her fingers that she had previously eaten off. Mary finally has fingers.

John goes out to gamble.

John finds some hobos on the street rolling dice.

“Hey there lizz, wanna play?” One of them says. “We playing for Slop. It’s like toilet wine, but we use motor oil to make it. Motor oil and formaldehyde.” The wino says shaking several small cubes. “You sell it at that pawn shop over there for a highly inflated price.”

Normus attempts to move and attack the person who pissed on him.

Normus manages to stagger to his feet, but fails to hit the peasant who pissed on him.

Normus says to the man pissed at him. “Damn you, dirty ape. Damn you. You’re no better than an ape.” Normus attempts to vomit on him.

Normus succeeds. The man begins eating the vomit

If Normus can begin moving, he does a gather information to find out where the top aristocrat is and tries to seek him out so that he may plot in his presence.

Malak says “Maybe we should get masks for you two.”

“Sure why not,” Maverick replies.

Malak does a gather information check on a mask shop

“Masks, Eh? Well, there’s a small outlet store that gives them away for free so that the Mask-Income law can be upheld. If you make under 50,000,000 gp a year, you are considered under class scum and you must wear a mask so the eyes of the upper classes don’t have to light on your hideous face.” A random old man says to Malak.

“where might this outlet be?” Malak asks

“The inner ring. It’s right next to the aristocratic lift elevator.” The old man says

Malak whispers to Maverick “You two ought to get a mask, I’ll follow closely, I do not wish to be seen in those parts.”

John looks for a hooka bar to chill at.

John finds a hookah bar. Inside, several poor people are smoking cat hair.

John decides that if he follows the example of the peasants and really beilieved that the cat hair was really hooka then it would be. John sits down and gets a good mouth full of smoke.

John vomits and takes 1 non-permanent constitution damage. John screams “WWOOOO yeah. Fuck Yeah!” he then puts his vomit in the hooka and walks out doing a search check for malak and maverick.

John sees Malak and Maverick standing outside of the inn talking to a decrepit old man in a mask.

“alright, lets go mary.” search for mask place near lift. {{eek!!}}

John waves to Malak and Maverick and yells “HEY! What doing? Can John come?”

Maverick sees several Royal guards standing around a small hut. A large sign above the hut reads

“Filth Blockers”

“we’re goiing to get masks so as to look less conspicuous. if u dont make a comotion sure” Maverick tells John

Maverick turns to Malak….“guards…shit”

John joins his friends in whatever they are scheming and says "John already look conspicuous”

Malak begins to start walking back towards the inn

Maverick takes her best motherly stance, grips mary’s hand and says to john “Act natural” {{ya right!}} and heads for the entrance of the mask shop.

“Whadiaya Want lady, it’s 10-Fucking-30! We’re closed in 10 minutes.”

“oh im sorry sir, we are sorta new to these parts and a kindly old gent told us we shud get us some masks or we could be in serious trouble and we wouldnt want any of that!!” Maverick replys gently.

John looks at the man menicingly and says “Why you no give lady and lady child maskes? Problem?” (intimidate check) john proceeds to crack his scaley fingers for they are very stiff and need a good crackarooo.

“Okay! Okay, take them!” The man sats dropping two mask down on the counter.

“How about you, ugly?” THe man says to John.

Normus searches around the front entrance of the palace, but when he asks his question to the royal guard, they smack him in the face with the handle of their maces. It is then that he spots Maverick, John and Mary picking up masks at a small hut.

Malak observes his friends from a not too far away distance.

“Why john need mask? John not ugly like you. You more ugly than John so you were mask and cry about it.” John does a spot check to see if any of his other comrades are doing anything more interesting.

“Why are you fellows putting masks on your faces? Is there something wrong with you?” Normus approaches John and Mary. “That would indicate you are scum, the lowest peasants, who men like me should trample upon.”

Normus sneers at the masks.

Maverick places the mask on her face and then on Mary’s. she addresses Normus, “Excuse me sir, i dont think i know who you are. you must be mistaken.” Maverick walks past Normus out the door and heads back to the end to find Malak.

View
Day 4
Twins and Masks

The next morning sun rises over the horizon and pierces the fog of the swamp.
Normus and John have both leveled up and healed from a night’s sleep. Malak and Maverick have not leveled up because they spent the whole night staring at Darth (Who has of yet has failed to introduce himself) Malak and Stand in the marshy ground, wet, exhausted, and damaged. Malak still has a crossbow bolt stuck in his arm. The corporal wakes up and moans dejectedly. He cradles his head and wakes up Normus, John and Tom.

“Have any of you seen Malak? The stuff’s loaded on the boat, we can get moving. Ahh, my damn head. Can someone else drive today?”

“I have not seen Malak, sir.” Normus snivels. “Why should I know? I’ve been right here. Am I some kind of Malak tracking device? Am I some kind of clown to amuse you?”

“ME DRIVE GOOD!” John yells excitedly in order to prove himself to the corporal.

“You DID see that man in the shadows last night right? or am i on acid or something?!” Maverick says in her little ferret voice to Malak.

“fuck him”Malak moans. He trudges himself back to the boat. He attempts to pull the crossbow bolt out of him.“I’m going to sleep Maverick get Mary to wake us if anything is a problem or if we get to a city.”

“whoa! whoa! whoa! im all for sleep Malak but i cant SPEAK to Mary! ferret remember?? u hafta tell her and tel her that its a direct order from me. alrighty?” Maverick squeaks to Malak and then adds, “Do u mind if i nap in u coat pocket or something? i dont trust Normus not to through me over board.”

John runs on deck and yells “ABOARD ALLLL!”and attempts to steer the ship.

Malak does a spot check for Mary

Thomas Hanks repeats his own name and runs around in circles.
THOMAS HANKS, THOMAS HANKS, THOMAS HANKS, etc.

John points at Tom and says “YOU!!” then attempts to grapple him and drag him on the ship and if he is feeling frisky maybe punch him in the face.

Maverick looks up at Malak and whispers, “Why is that boy only wearing a hat?”

Malak drags himself to the tower and yanks the bolt out of his shoulder. The corporal nods as he accounts Malak. He watches as Tom (Still Naked) runs around in circles. The Corporal shakes his head.

“Great, another John…. Hey, who the hell are you?!” Zmire says now laying eyes on Darth.

John successfully grapples Tom.

“Damn it John, stop yelling, god.”

Malak spots Mary standing next to the corporal.

One of the men from the tower approaches the group.

“The ship is ready corporal. You and you’re group can leave when you’re ready.”

The corporal stares at Darth for a moment, then shuffles off to the ship.

“I’m in a lot of pain right now. If you want to get on the boat, just do it. I don’t even care right now.”

As everyone (including Darth) gets on the new boat Malak and the corporal drag themselves below deck.

John starts to whistle then grabs Mary fuzzes her head and keeps whistling as he tries to start the boat and make sense of where they are going because he has no fucking idea.

The boat moves along through the glades, speeding at about 60 mph, when the boat slows to a halt. The corporal punches open the boat grating, and accidentally kicks Malak awake as he speeds towards the edge of the boat. He sticks his head over the rim and vomits.

“Ah christ… I’m never drinking lizard alcohol again…. God, I could use some sleep…” The corporal moans. Suddenly, several small blue objects fly through the air and splatter against the deck of the ship. A blue mist clouds the deck of the boat.Darth, John, Mary and the corporal pass out on the deck. Maverick, Malak, Normus and Tom are unaffected. Through the haze of the blue smoke Two figures appear. Both are Identical twins with matching black bowler derby hats and eyepatches. They have green eyes and pale skin.

The man on the right is dressed in long red and black robes. Under his baggy sleeves, several bracelets with glowing red runes dangle from his wrists. He wears brown sandals and carries a large leather bound book in his right hand. His Eye patch is over his left eye.

The man on the left is dressed in a short, metal studded jacket with a chain shirt under it. A Zwiehander is strapped to his back, and a belt filled with throwing knifes is wrapped around his waist. He has spiked black leather gloves on his hands and black boots on his feet. His Eye patch is over his right eye.

“What the hell is this shit? Bro, I thought you said that stuff would knock all those fuckers out.” The man on the left says.

“Calm down Jim. They must have elf blood. Elves are immune to magic sleep. We’re going to have put them down manually.” The man on the right says.

“Man, why can’t you just learn a mass hold person spell or some shit like that?” Jim says pulling three knives out of his belt.

ANIMATE ROPE.”

A Coil of rope laying on the deck suddenly comes to life and ties itself around Tom’s legs.

John does a Will check to try to wake up.

QUICKENED COLOR SPRAY” The twin with the robes says raising his hand. A blast of prismatic colors explodes from his finger tips and strikes Normus in the chest. He is knocked to the ground and blinded.

Jim turns to Malak and grins.

“I might not have that Magic shit My brother has but you still really might want to surrender.” He says, juggling the knifes in his hands. “Hey, you, dip-shit on the ground. You wanted to know who we are, right? We’re the mother-fucking PIPER TWINS, BITCH! I’m Jim, and this is my older brother, Jackie. We’ve been hired to stomp the living shit out of you guys!” The man with the knives says kicking Normus in the ribs.

Jackie shakes his head. “Why do you always have to go announcing who we are? That’s how we got caught the last time.”

In the midst of the smoke Maverick scurries quietly along the ground {{stealth check}} and attempt to crawl up the man’s back and heads toward the throat with frightening ferret agility. she begins muttering prayers under her breath.

Maverick slinks through the haze with incredible ferret-y agility. She is just about to get into one of the twin’s pant’s legs when the haze clears from the wind. The younger brother spots her.

“Man, what kind a shit hole are you cunts running here? The rats here are fucking huge!” Jim say and tries to kick maverick. He misses.

Malak takes out his knife and attempts to stab one of the twins.

Malak misses.

“I love it when they do thing the hard way.” Jim says with a malicious smile. He sticks the knives in his belt and pulls the Zwiehander off of his back. He swings and bashes Malak in the side for 3 damage. Malak is at 4 life and bleeding. Malak falls to the ground.

“Well fuck, if Mr. Mask here is done, lets tie these bitches up and do our job here.” Jim Laughs.

Jackie moves his hand, and the rope that had tangled Tom up wraps itself around Normus and the other incapacitated people.

SICK SHIT! These fucks have got some nice gear!” Jim says, taking a bag of holding out of a pocket in his jacket.

“Jim, our orders were to get the mask, not line our own pockets. You’re not screwing up another job.”

“Fuck me bro, look at this stuff!” Jim says pointing at Darth. “Mask dude isn’t going anywhere, so this shit is mine.”

Jim strips Darth down to his shirt of weapons, magic armor, and items. He then snap’s Darth’s neck with a sharp twist of his wrist.

“Nice threads. I could make 30 Sil off of cloths like that.” Jim says, wrestling the shirt off of Darth’s back. Jim puts the bag back into his coat. “Next up, Mr. Blindy. I think that helmet should fetch a pretty copper piece.” He says reaching for Normus’s helm.

ORDER: Attack and kill your brother.” Normus says.

Jim Freezes, then marches towards his brother. He raises his Zweihander, and smashes it into the deck where his brother was standing. Jackie jumps out of the way screaming, “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!!!”

Normus blinks a few times, and finally regains his sight. He wriggles in his bonds, but is unable to stand. His struggling awakens John.

QUIT TRYING TO KILL ME RETARD!!!” Jackie screams. “DISPEL MAGIC!”

Jim stops and lowers his sword.

“Dude, mind fuck. Okay, screw a whole bunch of this. Lets get the mask and go.”

John opens his eyes looks at his attackers and stands up. “YOU MOTHERFUCKERS! YOU KNOCK OUT ME LIKE BUNCH OF PUSSYS. YOU GO AGAINST WARRIOR AND BARBERIAN CODE! YOU DIE NOW! JOHN MAKE SURE OF IT! JOHN GOINA OPEN UP A CAN OF WOOP ASS!”A loud roar splits the air as John lifts everyone he is tied to off of the ground and snaps through the rope. He ducks overboard and vanishes.

“What the fuck was that about?”

“I’m not sure. I only speak a little draconic, but from what I could tell, he was pissed.” Jackie says, trying to regain his composure.

Malak makes an attempt to stand up but makes it to his knees
A tremendous rush of water shoots up from the other side of the boat and John flies into the air, roaring with his eyes glowing red. He slowly arches down, and with the force of a jack hammer, comes crashing down on Jackie’s head. He deals 1 damage.

“Get off me!” Jackie yells trying to push John’s formidable bulk off of himself.

“I’ll get the mask! Jim says, grabbing Malak by the arm. He throws Malak to the ground and attempts to rip the mask off of his face.

John does a grapple check on Jim

Maverick scampers out of the way and begins muttering quietly the prayer of Internal Burning upon the twin attacking Malak.

Malak attempts a dodge and tries to cast continual fire on Jim.

John grabs Jim by the shoulder and yanks him off of Malak. He grapples him and deals 1 damage to Jim as his spiky skin sticks into him. Malak casts continual flame, and Jim’s jacket bursts into flames. John is burned by the fire and takes 1 damage. Malak takes 1 damage from bleeding

DISPEL MAGIC!”

The magical flames on Jim’s jacket go out in a large black cloud of smoke.

“Okay scales, your ass is MINE.” Jim says with a sweep of his Zwiehander. He hits John for 3 damage.

Jackie dusts himself off and picks up his spell book.

QUICKENED WEB!”

A large, sticky, black spider web springs from Jackie’s hand and sticks Malak to the deck of the ship.

“I’m going to do this the right way.” Jackie says reaching out for the Mask.

Suddenly, he bends over clutching is sides screaming in pain.

“What the fuck is this!?” Jackie says falling to the floor. Has his head hits the ground, He notices Maverick making prayerful little ferret movements. “Ah-HA! The ferret is actually a druid in animal form! That explains how the lizard folk was able to jump so high, and that is who cast the control person spell on my brother! You were trying to avoid attention by pretending to be something weak and powerless! Well, let’s see how clever you are when I rip your little ruse right off of you.” Jackie says flipping pages in his spell book.

BREAK ENCHANTMENT!!!”

Maverick returns to human form, and the curse mark on the back of her hand has disappeared.

“OH YEAH! NOW YOU GUYS ARE IN TROUBLE!” The Cherub cries triumphantly.

“You want challenge?” john says as he grabs his darkwood great club. “John give you challenge!” John attacks Jim with his great club aiming for the head.

John hits. He deals 6 damage.

Jim sprawls out on the ground, then jumps up with the dexterity of a cat.

TRUE STRIKE

“Okay, no more screwing around.” Jim growls. He charges and runs John through with his sword. he deals 7 damage to john. John is now bleeding.

Normus wriggles in the oft chance he can somehow break free from his bonds. “Help me! Help me! Kill these bastards! You two weirdo droogs are going to pay for what you’ve done! You’ll have your eyes eaten out by maggots! You’re lower folk! Inferior to me! I step on you!”

Normus jumps on Jackie, attempting to pull his hair out with his right hand and gauge out the left eye with his left hand’s fingernails. “You are an orgy whore!” Normus laughs. “You are an orgy whore!”

Maverick {{who now has full magic ability thanks to a few dumbasses}} rises and grips Jackie around the neck.“I wish I could save u for the wonderful deed u just have done for me, but I have no choice but to kill u. I will pray for your soul.” suddenly Maverick’s fingers catch fire and Jackie quickly lights up.

Jackie hurls Normus off off him, turns and walks right into Maverick’s burning palm spell. The fire scorches his throat, and he stagger’s back from the burn. He coughs a few times, then grabs two vials filled with green liquid from inside his robes. He pops the stopper on one and downs the contents. The burns on his neck vanish. He throws the second one to Jim who catches and also drinks the contents.

“Looks like this game just went into overtime, scales.” Jim growls.

“No Jim, we’re done here.” Jackie says.

WHAT?”

“We under estimated the opponent. We’ll just have to cut our losses and go. We’ll come back for the mask. If we stay, in all likelihood, they’ll kill one of us. Plus I’m almost out of spells.”

“You’ve got to be shitting me!”

“No. We’ll come better prepared next time. We’re leaving.”

Jim hesitates.

“Fuck me, bro. Get us out of here.”

FLY.”

Jackie shoots into the air then dips down and grabs his brother under the arms.

SPHERE OF INVISIBILITY!”

The two men vanish from sight. All that remains is Jim’s voice.

“We’re coming back for you little shits! That mask is ours! NEXT TIME I’M GONNA SKULL-FUCK YOUR CORPSES! EHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA AH HA HA HA HA HA ha ha ha ha ha ha…”

The Corporal and Mary are still asleep.

Maverick heals her crew mates.

John out of desperation jumps in the direction that he saw the two leaving and tries to grab randomly in the air in a last attempt to grapple them. If he doesn’t then he swims back to the ship and pats everyone on the back and says " Good jobs all rounds, and you my friend" he says looking at Normus “show much fire in your belly. You all right for a smelly human.” John kicks the corporal. “Hey we got any more rice liquor?”

Malak says “Well, done Normus. That, was what I was talking about when I said action merits respect”

“I would like to announce that I am glad I am no longer a ferret!!” Maverick declares, then she bonks John on the head lightly, “oh and thanks for trying to EAT ME!!”

John looks at maverick “hey were you been?”

tom screams

john grabs his battle horn and starts to blow it as hard as he can in toms face.

WHY IS HE SCREAMING?!” Maverick yells over the noise.

John kicks Zmire, and the corporal wakes with a start.

“Whaz-ha, oh, hey John. AH, man that nap was just what I needed. We’ve got one last bottle of wine in the hull. Take it, I’m swearing… off… what the hell happened to the deck? Ah screw it. I’m getting us to the next check point. It’s only….. 11:30 at least. If we get to Zee’pa before the end of the day, we can take our time getting to Zula.” The Corporal says springing up with new-found vigor.

After about 2 hours of sailing, (And with a glorious lack of interruptions.) The boat finally docks in the next city. The magically animated fans above deck slowly grind to a halt as a familiar sight comes into view. The slummy first ring, followed by a wall of factories, and finally a shinning palace in the sky. Something odd catches the groups attention. Several people in ratty cloths drudge around the city in Masks. These masks differ in color and design, but almost everyone seems to be wearing them. Only army officers and guards men appear to not wear them.

“Well ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Zee’pa, also called the city of masks. Guess that was pretty obvious… anyway, as usual its up to all of you to find your own sleeping and eating arrangements. This is our last check point. I suggest you take this time to rest up and buy anything you might need. See the sights and enjoy you’re self. Tomorrow at noon, we begin the hunt for Ringgar.”

As the corporal finishes speaking two men in red uniforms aproach the group. One turns to Malak.

“Malak Firestone, you are hear by under arrest for entering this country illegally. You will by deported back to Azure immediately pending and all equipment you have on your person will be confiscated.”

“What are you blathering about; Malak is an employee of the Ranpurrian army. Go pick on some peasant or what ever you idiots do to amuse yourselves.” The Corporal grunts.

“On the contrary. Mr. Firestone never went through the proper channels after entering the country form Azure. The dock office has no record of him filling out any immigration forms or even payment for his voyage here. We have reason to beleve he is also dangerous.”

“The army has his file AND payed for his voyage, I even have his damn blue card with me. PISS OFF ALREADY.” The corporal growls.

“The royal guard was unable to obtain any of these.”

“It’s classified. Look, everyone go. I’ll handle this.”

“No, Mr. Firestone stays.”

“HE IS UNDER MY COMMAND, NOT YOURS. HE WILL DO AS HE PLEASES FOR NOW AND THERE ISN’T A FUCKING THING YOU SHIT HEADS CAN DO ABOUT IT. Everyone, go.”

John looks at both of the men and says as he cracks his knuckles and picks up his great club “If the corporal says we don’t have problem then there is none. So must john have to ask you is problem here or is you confused?”
“Shut the hell up ya damn crocodile. Your people are nothing but a bunch of filthy nomads. Your a bunch of ticks, sucking the resources out of the land that were meant for mammalian humanoids and the glorious ruling class. Just go crawl back into the swamp, you scum.” The first guard says.

“HA-HA. You don’t have hair, and you worship a lizard that’s just as dumb as you are.” The second guard points and laughs.

“John, just go. I Don’t want this to escalate. Thats what these bastards are hoping for.” Zmire says.

John looks again at the guardsmen before him and says to Zmire “No if they want escalate then so it shall. Seeing that they are not only the most disgusting and pitiful things John has seen but also smell like shit. Sorry john has to piss.” John unfastens his fly and proceeds to wiz on the guards.

“shh, john don’t be silly,” Maverick says unusually placidly. Spell: Command {{to the guards}} “This is a misunderstanding. You will go home to your wives and mistresses and not report back to your superior until we have left the area. it that understood?” Maverick says to the guards, her eyes shifting color.

“We will go home and pleasure our wives and mistresses and not report to our superiors.” The guardsmen say in monotone and in unison. They walk away.

“You know, maybe I was wrong about you Maverick.” The corporal says with a grin.

Mary wakes up on the boat.

“HI LADY MAVERICK! I missed you. Hey, Mr. Fire Angel, where did my kitty go?” Mary says hugging Maverick.

Malak says to Mary " I don’t know my dear…" Malak pats her on the head as he would to Kaylee

“Thank you about the guards, Corporal.” He says to Zmire.

“Maverick do you think you can do anything about my arm?” he asks his previously furry companion showing her the melted saber.

“You don’t have to thank me. I was ready to kick the shit out of those asshole lackeys. Well, I’m getting a room with a tub. Catch you all later.”

As expected, the corporal heads towards the middle ring.

“We should find some hay to rest on for the night. I would require only the finest hay. I wonder if there are any weeds available too we can eat. I eat only the finest weeds.” Normus picks his teeth. “Still some stuff in there.”

Normus exits the ship to look for some weeds to eat. He will do a search. “I remember when I made those no good inferior farmers pick weeds for me and then I’d boil them. That was delicious. Those were good times. They got the scraps after the dogs went at it.”

Everyone in the group is both hungry and thirsty.

A boy in a mask holding a burlap bag walks up to the group.

“Would any one like to buy mud. Its edible. And it’s only 1000 Gold. If I don’t sell some by the end of the day, my daddy will beat me.” He says. Suddenly the boy stands still for a moment and makes several gagging noises. Vomit drips down from inside the mask. “Sorry, eating mud makes me vomit. I’m going to take it off so I can breathe better.”

Suddenly, an old woman in a mask runs up screaming.

AVERY!!! What are you DOING! Don’t touch your mask! Don’t you remember what happened to uncle Floyd?!” The woman screams.

“The royal guards poured fire ants down his throat, ripped off his finger and toe nails, drove screws into his eye-sockets and arm pits, ripped out his uvula, found a cleric to heal him, then excruciated him in front of us?” The boy says.

“That’s right, so don’t touch that mask!”

“But, mom, the vomit makes it hard to breath. And this mask makes my eyes bloody. Why can’t I join the rebellion so we can have an anarchistic revolution with an awesome communistic government where everyone will be happy all the time. It’s so obvious that communism is the best form of government in the world. If you don’t think communism is awesome, you are just stupid. We can all share everything instead of being a bunch of asshole, self-centered, materialistic cock-munchers.”

SHHH! Don’t say that out loud! We all know that communism with a mob in charge of the justice system is clearly the way to go, but if the guards hear you, they’ll pull your genitals off and feed them to you. Come on, sell mud to someone else or your father will beat you.”

John does a search check for a bar in the middle ring of the city. Then a search check for rebels against the government. While taking Normus and Tom with him.

“I can pray for some healing and treat it the best i can but God only allows me to do so much for the day. Tomorrow i can fix ur arm. But dont u have some healing potions?” Maverick explains to Malak. Then she whispers, “I would be grateful for a full nights rest for once and safety for Mary thank you.”

Maverick gives Mary a hug, “I have missed u darling,” she smiles, “your kitty really missed her sister so she went back to stay with her. I will find u a new kitty sometime ok?” she says kissing her forehead lightly.

“Also, Malak this tiara john gave me is worth many platinum, we should trade it in before we find a place to sleep.” Maverick suggests.

“Healing potions will not remove this curse. I do hope to find a cleric to remove this abomination from my arm.” Malak says.

“Well tomorrow I should be able to lift it for u so have patience” Maverick suggests.

“Also, we should restrain normus for the night, i can sense he up to more trouble. he seems to have this infatuation with royals. very annoying.” Maverick mumbles.

Gather information on a middle ring inn and a cleric.

Just as everyone heads out towards the middle ring, a large black carriage hovers over the group. It has several large metal protrusions in the shape of shower curtain rods. It is pulled by several Spider Eaters and hovers in the air supported by a large glowing blue disk. Two royal guardsmen each sit on the backs of the large eight-legged flying creatures, and five peasants desperately cling to the metal poles. The carriage floats down and lands in front of everyone, cutting off their walking path. The Guards hop off their mounts and the peasants drop off their poles. All of the peasants are FAT. The peasants all kneel down in a staircase formation and a guard runs over and opens the door.

Arch Duke Shourecrox steps out of the door.

“Well what an interesting coincidence. It’s good to see the four of you again. I’m here visiting my sister and sometimes sex partner, Baroness Lida Islanda. Where might you and your friends be headed?”

“Simply none of your business.” John says a matter of factly. John continues to look for a bar completely ignoring the incestuous noble man.
“Ah good day, sir.” Normus bows down somewhat to the aristocrat and whispers “We are off to kill Ringar or something like that. You must love how all the peasants have masks here. I’ll get you that mask soon enough.”
“Oh, you wound me my scaly friend.” the Arch Duke says with a tinge of annoyance. “I’m going to look past that and extend my offer for all of you to spend the night in the imperial palace of Zee’pa as my guests. Mr. Firestone! What happened to your hand?! If you and your party will join me, I will have my personal spell casters look at that and have it removed. Mr. Tyire, you are a man who appreciates the finer things in life, surely you would like to stay a night on silk sheets instead of hay. We shall eat of the finest delicacies imaginable, it will be simply lovely.” The duke says suggestively. “Excuse me, but you there, you look familiar….” He says pointing to Darth.

“T’would be a pleasure indeed!” Normus becomes rubbing his hands wildly and finds himself slightly sexually aroused. “The palace! I will require fine clothes, though, the finest silks around for one of your best guests in quite some time.”
Maverick shakes her head in disapproval, “Thanks but no thanks, I think Malak here will also have to decline….right?” Maverick says looking over at the masked half-elf.
And before Malak has a chance to open his mouth, “I suppose it’s your own and the lizard man’s loss. Come gentlemen.” Shourecrox says to Maverick, stepping back into the depths of the carriage. Suddenly two pairs of royal guards grab both Malak and Normus and yank them in with the Arch Duke. Like clockwork, the rest of the servants resume their positions with in the blink of an eye and take off towards the gilded castle in the sky.
“Oh, shit.” Maverick says
Inside the coach is ten times bigger then the outward would have led you to believe (Bag of Holding kind of effect). The Arch Duke sits on a large satin and red velvet throne trimmed with gold, far back in the rear of the coach about twenty feet away. He is surrounded by dozens of scantily clad women, food, animals dressed in women’s clothing, alcohol, little girls and boys (Also dressed in revealing out fits) drugs (From every corner of the addict’s color chart, form balgor to pox, from wizma to chicken foot) and tons of jewelry. The two royal guards release Malak and Normus and stand guard over their master. The arch duke lights up a joint and begins smoking a long black cigar.

“Prostitute anyone?” Shourecorx says with a smile.

“No thank you.” Malak says. “I request that you drop me off this instant. I am sure that I am capable to fixing my arm myself thank you. The mask is still NOT for sale."

“Oh please Mr. Firestone, it’s silly to think that I would persuade you after you refused my very generous offer. Think of this as merely a gesture of my good will. No hard feelings, right? I’m sure it would be difficult to find a competent spell caster among the mongrel folk below us, therefore you should just accept this stroke of luck. Your friend doesn’t seem to be complaining.” Shourecrox replies

Malak senses that Shourecrox is not telling the truth.

“I would quite enjoy having my way with a prostitute.” Normus shifts his eyes around for an elven/human mulatto with pale skin. When he sees the closest one to that image, he wants to start caressing her pelvic area with his fingernails underneath her garments if there are any.

Normus does so. She stares at him unaffectedly.

Maverick does her best to try to follow the carriage. She keeps her eye on the carriage and follows it to the imperial palace. Seven Royal Guards are stationed at the lift.

As they arrive Malak says " Normus’s tastes vary from mine. I appreciate your kindness ArchDuke however I do not wish to put myself into a position of debt. I would appreciate it if you will allow me to leave."
“Please, there is no debt owed. We of the more sophisticated classes have a reputation of being vengeful. I’m simply dispelling a preposterous stereotype. Besides we’re here.” The arch duke says, standing and shrugging off his concubines. “Mr. Tyire, shall I have the guards wrap that woman up for you, or will you finish with her on the way in?”

The door of the carriage opens and a menagerie of wealth, spectacle and wonder assaults all five senses of both Malak and Normus. The inside of the Palace is like that of higher Celestia, covered in what seem like physically impossible displays of wealth and status. Nearly everything is hand crafted from a precious metal or gem stone. Hundreds of peasants toil endlessly, performing random, mindless, repetitive tasks. Prostitutes are rushed down the halls like herds of cattle. Several nobles proceed down these magnificent halls, following different forms of amusement or simply to move to another room in this elaborate maze of pleasures.

The Arch Duke snaps his fingers and forty peasants appear around him.

“This summon person spell is most amusing. Mr. Firestone, this is…. well I really don’t know his name. I simply call him spell slave. Spell slave, remove that obtrusion from Mr. Firestone’s hand.”

The wizard sighs dejectedly, then walks up to Malak. He mutters an incantation, and the sword falls off his hand and disintegrates. The carriage and the servants the arch duke had summoned vanish.

“Most excellent. Well, now that that unpleasantness is out of the way, your gentlemen’s’ rooms are right over there. Is there anything you gentlemen would like to do or see?”

“There are a plethora of things!” Normus digs his nails into the prostitute to degrees that very from near blood-drawing to delicate. “And I would like her wrapped up. I think we should go to a fountain of hot chocolate if there is such a thing and drink from it while bathing young girls in it.”

Also, Normus uses his x-ray monocle to see if anyone around him has a noble lift pass other than Malak.

Malak stretches his arms and takes a drink from his canteen. “Thank You.” he says to the wizard and the Archduke. “Tell me, about your collections that I remember you previously have mentioned” Malak says

“Of course we have a fountain of liquid chocolate. And if we don’t we will have the servants carve one from the bones of an endangered animal. I’ll have one of the servants take you to the fountain bathing room. Give Mr. Tyire anything he desires. He is an important guest.” The Arch Duke says waving his left hand. Several peasants rush over to the three men and carry Normus away.

“I had a feeling one artifact would lead to an interest in the rest. Come, the servants will carry us.” The Arch Duke says with a wide grin. Many fat peasants carrying a rattan chair lift the Arch Duke into the chair, then the chair into the air and haul him down the hall. Several peasants repeat the process with Malak. They are carried down several miles of hallway until they reach what looks like some kind of art gallery. The chairs are finally set down in front of a large glass case filled with seemingly mundane objects.

“This is my private art gallery. I always have it sent ahead of me when I travel. These are the Artifacts of Thurazg. I have four of the six parts of the set.”

“These include the hands…” He say pointing to a pair of green gauntlets.
“The chest…” he motions to a damascus steel chassy. (New type of armor)
“The feet… “he points to a pair of silver studded boots.
“And the heart. Some delusional mystics believe that these are the shredded remains of some ancient god, or some such nonsense. I’ve never been a religious man myself. Silly little people desperately begging a higher power to hand them anything they want. The only thing they seem to be good for is the advancement of us thinking people. Do you understand where I’m coming from Mr. Firestone?”

Malak states. “I do not believe in such gods either; however I do not understand what these items do for you at all.” He does a spot check to see how the room is lighted

“These Items serves as…. trophies. They represent a sort of a… Concocring of old beliefs as magic-mechanic progressions and the rational rule of the privileged few marches on. Aside from that, as a collector it is simply impossible for me not to own the entire set.” As the arch duke finishes speaking another well dressed man enters the gallery.

“Shourecrox, where are you? Azg just finished the… Oh…. hellooooooo.” The new comer says eyeing Malak strangely.

“Mr. Firestone, this is Lord Iona. He is also a fellow collector of art. Iona, this is the Elf I was telling you about.” Shourecrox says. Lord Iona stares at the Arch Duke blankly.

“Shourecrox, may I have a word with you? Privately.” Iona says.

“But of course. I will summon another chair for you.”

“You know I think that sort of behavior is idiotic and asinine.” Iona says with a tinge of annoyance.

“Well some would argue that not putting these lesser people in their place is idiotic and asinine.” The Arch Duke smiles maliciously.

“Conference. Now.” Iona says firmly.

“Do excuse me Mr. Firestone. Feel free to look around. If you tire of my collection, have The Help take you back to your room. I will suggest my pelt collection from my peasant huts. I have a gold plated story of each hunt below each pelt. Enjoy.” The Arch Duke says sauntering off in his chair. Lord Iona stares at Malak.

“I like you. You look like you have a good head on your sholders. Chio.”

The room is very well light. Only Malak’s chair carriers are left in the room.

Malak jumps off his chair and speaks to the peasants. “Do whatever you wish.”

Track check to follow the archduke and Iona. Move silently check.

Meanwhile John manages to make his way to the middle ring without incident. He manages to find a small inn just outside the middle ring that has beds and over-priced food. Next to it is a jewelry shop.

John askes the barkeeper of the inn how much is meat and beer. Gather information on what the locals know about jackie and jim piper.

“A slice of meat is 600 gold pieces. Beer is 2 silver.” The bar tender says. “And if you wanna know about the piper twins, ya can ask anybody. They’re a couple of in competent nut jobs. What do you want ta know about ’em.”

“Well first,” john gives the man a gold piece, “give John whatever food and beer this give me. As for the piper twins do you know where dey live or hide outs? Or even where they attack most offten?”

“Well, there hide out is near the capital. They’ve been coming around here lately though on business. Seems some noble or wealthy merchant hired them to settle some stupid business deal. They’re a couple of pirates turned mercenary. They just came through here. They cashed some magic jewelry next door and skipped. Seems they were headed back home.”

The Bar Tender sets down five mugs of beer in front of John.“No food. Sorry, but I need more money outa you if you want meat.”

John drinks them all and goes next door to the jewlery shop and attemps to steal some valuables.

John walks into the jewelry shop. A balding halfling stands on a box behind the counter.

“Can I help you sir?”

John tries to incapacitate the man by throwing a net over him while he takes jewlery.

“Oh, what a lovely net. Say, would you be interested buying the items you just smashed the case of? Well, they are quite expensive. Um, sir? Sir, you forgot your net. Sir?” the Halfling says as John walks out the door.

John walks out of the store with total 65,000 gp in jewelry. As he does, he bumps into a whole platoon of Royal Guards.

“There’s our Jewelry thief! Get Him!”

“No sirs, you see im but a lizard nomad dilivering jewlery that is all. I know the man. Is that guy right over there.” John points to an old man. MAJOR BLUFF CHECK. “Hes trying to look old to be discreet.” BLUFF MY FUCKING ASS OFF. “We have had trouble with him before. GET HIM!” this is definitaly a bluff. PLEASE LET IT WORK.

“If you think we’re gonna believe that stupid story, your filthy people are even more inferior than we thought.” The guard laughs.

“Hey guys, forget this, we just caught Ricky Martin. RICKY-FUCKING-MARTIN! Come on, or you’ll miss the hanging!”

All the guards yell excitedly and run off following the other guard.

“Son of bitch shit. who ricky martin?” John continues back to the bar and lays his many jems in front of the bar keep and says “This enough for meat and more beer? Last round dont even make me feel tipsy. Got anything not for smelly people?”

“Crap in a Hat! How’d ya get all this money? What did ya do, steal it?” The Bar Keep laughs. “If you want stronger alcohol, you got it!”

The Bar Tender lays a whole turkey in front of John and 6 pints of hard ale.

John viciously rips apart the turkey leaving no part untouched and downs the ale and asks for a room to sleep for the night.

Maverick who has been hiding in the bushes by the gate of the royal palace, picks up a large rock and tosses it into some bushes near the carriage and throws her voice screaming “OMGSH LOOK!!! IT’S RICKI MARTIN!! HE’S HIDING IN THAT BUSH!!” cuz everybody knows peasents loooove Ricki Martin.

RICKY MARTIN! He’s that escaped criminal who attacks nobles and feeds their remains to starving peasants! Let’s get that son of a bitch!” The guards yell jumping into the bushes.

As the guards fly towards ricki martin maverick approaches the carriage, flings open the doors and looks at the nobles “uh i changed my mind, my daughter and i would like to join u. we rlly have nothing bttr to do.”

But she sees that the carriage is empty. However she notices that the elevator to the palace is right next to her.

Malak follow their trail down what seems like several miles of corridor, loses the trail twice, then picks it up again. Malak can tell there is something seriously weird about this castle. Finally, he finds them in a large room filled with windows to the sky outside and the ground several miles below. Lord Iona and Shourecrox are talking while a disheveled little man works silently behind them.

“I TOLD you I would get the next artifact!. All we have to do is take it, then you can make me a god! Why is this such a hard concept to grasp Iona?!” The Arch Duke raves irately while stuffing food in his mouth. “DRAIN ME AGAIN AZG!”

The disheveled man sighs and hits a switch. A large pump on the wall starts humming. Azg takes the pump off the wall and sticks it to the arch duke’s mid section. He then pulls a large hose out of one end and sticks it to a skinny peasant.

“Shoure, I told you not to bring him here. Just buy the mask from him.” Iona sighs.

“I tried the stubborn bastard wouldn’t take the bait. Besides, you told me a lot of things.” The arch duke say dismissively. As he does, his cheeks slowly deflate as the peasant begins to put on girth.

“Like, ’Don’t hire the piper twins, they are incompetent’, ‘Stop trying to kill the king, the other nobility are using him.’, every time I tell you not to do something, you do it anyway, and you screw us both royally. What if he’s in you’re gallery right now trying stealing the artifacts.” Iona says plaintively.

“Impossible. That glass is enchanted to explode if shattered.” The Arch Duke scoffs. “Plus, after they’re done picking shards of glass out of their skin, 50 royal guards are rigged to teleport into the room.”

“What if they melt, or cut the glass? He’s wearing the nihilist’s face.”

“You’d need a Damascus Steel knife with a diamond tip to cut the glass. And what are the odds that he has the mask’s power activated when we couldn’t activate the other artifacts our self?”

“Considering that he’s traveling with a cleric, pretty good.”

The arch duke stops eating and stares at Iona blankly.

“Disconnect me, I’ll be right back.”

Azg pulls the same switch again, and the pipes pop off of both they’re hosts. The Arch Duke teleports out of the room.

“Why do I even bother?” Iona sighs and leaves the room.

Azg looks around and drops to his knees.

“I’ve been making Meta-magic Frankensteins for the nobles all my life. First I did it cause they said they’d kill my family. When they did anyway, they said that they’d kill my wife. They did anyway. I’m pretty sure the countess was board, and wanted to play ‘Dodge the Flaming Spiked Balls of Death’. I can’t take it anymore! I’ll never make another weapon for those ass holes again! All I’ve got is my life and what’s left of my dignity. Let’s see those bastards figure out how to kill innocent people with my new invention with no instructions! I’M COMING SHERLY!!!!!!!!” The man says tossing a brick at one of the windows and it shatters. He jumps out the gaping hole and plummets to his death.

Malak does a search check on the room. and says an elven requiem prayer on the man who just killed himself.

Malak pokes around the room and finds a large iron barrel. There is a small latch concealed on the right side. It is clearly the “ON Switch”. The barrel is big enough to fit two people inside and smells faintly of motor oil. On top of that, Malak finds a round, flat disk made of Damascus Steel. It is surprisingly light and durable for it’s thickness. It is enchanted. He also finds 3 gold bricks, 2 explosive tipped Spears, a bottle of black liquid that Malak doesn’t recognize, a ring of demon summoning; lesser and a fat sucking machine.

Malak grabs a gold brick and the bottle of black liquid and hides them in his gloves of storing.

He puts on his angel band and jumps out the window.

Malak Spots Maverick about to board the lift to the castle. He also sees john enter a tavern with his arms full of jewelry from very far away. Maverick notices Malak jump out a broken window with his wings unfurled.

Malak lands next to Maverick. “Let’s get the hell outa here, I have things to tell you. I saw a tavern that John G. found.”

Maverick grabs Mary and lifts her for a piggyback. "Ok, let’s go. the guards are still going nuts over Ricki Martin. John said he was headed for the city’s middle ring. lead the way.”

“Is what u have tell me important RIGHT NOW. or can it wait till we sleep?" Maverick asks Malak.

“It can wait til we get a room.” Malak says

Malak goes in the direction of the tavern that he saw John enter. And he finds the Inn that John was staying at.

The Barkeep hands John a key to a room on the second floor. “We got beds on that level, but we been havin’ a rat problem.”

“Rodents of unusual size? JOHN LOVE RODENTS OF UNUSUAL SIZE! Oh and by way alcohol still for smelly people and not proud lizard folk.” John runs up to his room and does a spot check.

John enters his room and sees several fat lazy rats lying on the floor. They look kind of stoned.

Maverick walks into the Inn and asks for a room, she looks at Malak and asks for some money cuz me haz none.

“A room with no bed is 6 gold pieces. A room with a bed is 20 gold pieces.” The Tavern owner says.

“Well I shall wait till my husband comes in. am such a dumb woman, I can’t keep track of money at all if my pretty little head depended on it. He’ll make the decision for me. Since it’s his money and I’m a silly woman and all!” Maverick tells the tavern man.

Malak removes the Angel Band and enters the inn. he speaks to the person behind the counter. “How much for a single room and enough food and water to feed the three of us?”

“I just told your wife here sir that Bed is 20 gp, no bed is 6.” The man says to Malak.

“And food? How much would that be as well?” Maverick chatters in a high pitched voice then looks at Malak, “oops sorry honey I forgot that women should b seen and not heard. I’ll need an extra beating for that one!” Maverick twitters.

Malak looks toward Maverick and says “Yes… we can’t have that….” Trying to stay in character.

Maverick flashes a million dollar grin.

“The hell up with your wife pal?” The Tavern owner asks Malak. “Food is more than this whole place is worth. I can get you one slice of meat for 600 gp. Beer is 2 silver. You can get a whole meal for 1000 gold. Enough to feed three people. Or one lizard folk and a kid.”

And looks patiently at her “husband”. She grips Mary a little tighter.

He turns to the man and says “I will have one room.” Malak puts 20 gp on the counter.“And I will have as much food as this gives me.” Malak drops the gold brick on the counter.

The Tavern owner hands Malak a room key and a sliver of meat thats about three inches long.

“Hey lady, that’s a nice tiara you’re wearing. If it weren’t for the absence of royal guards beating the faces of me and my costumers in, I would say you were royalty. You could probably get enough for a full meal if you sell it at the jewelry shop next door. No offense if you are not willing to part with it.”

The tavern owner leans in and whispers to Malak"Is your wife okay? Did she hit her head or something?"

Malak says to the man “She’s a little odd.”

Mavericks eyes get all wide and perky, “Royalty?? REALLY?!?! oh honey my life is complete!! oh i dont know if i could part with it now! but i didnt see anyone inside the store anyways so i guess its not rlly a problem!!” Maverick squeals. then she looks at Malak and blushes, “ive spoken far too much havent i?! oh dear, im rlly gonna get it for this.”

Malak takes the key and goes upstairs to find the room. “I have things to tell u.” Malak says.

Malak tells Maverick all of what he saw during his stay in the palace

“Jesus Christ” Maverick says, “yeah we may have some trouble coming. let’s go see if that man is in the shop i can sell this thing so we can get food. it’s worth major platinum.”

Meanwhile Normus, somewhere in the castle, while he is in the chocolate fountain, he attempts to drown one of the beautiful female peasant servants in the hot chocolate.“The peasants must learn that they actually make this sweet liquid even sweeter.” Normus also drinks as much hot chocolate as he can until he is bloated and has atrocious cramps.

Normus drowns the prostitute. Normus is so bloated that he can’t move. This is unfortunete, because a peasant drops his pants and pees on him.

View
Evening 3
Elves and Creepers

As the sun sets, the boat touches down on a small island that is literally small enough to throw a softball across. Marsh plants dot the coast, and a large steel tower rises out of the center of the land plot. The sand of the beach crunched under the hull as the fans slowly come to halt. Several Military personnel approach the boat with explosive tip spears. The corporal has a quick word with them and they give a quick salute before leaving.

“Alright gentlemen, lizard, and ferret. Every thing’s set for tomorrow. It’s up to you to find your own sleeping arraignments, meager as they may be. The sentries will take the food and supplies off of the boat and on to our new one. Night!” He says, hauling his tent bag near the tower.

The time is 6:30. The sun has set.

John takes out his horn and blows into it deeply, he then drops to the ground and covers himself in mud and falls asleep.
Malak (using his second burning palms) heats up the food he had from the boar earlier and eats it (he cuts a bit off for Mary and ferret version of Maverick).
Normus sets out to acquire food and asks a soldier, “Do you know where I can find some leaves or grain?”
As Normus approaches the tower, he sees the Corporal dragging a large cooking pot found in the Sublioth over to a small fire he had built next to his tent. He runs back to the ship and drags the rest of boar from the ship and throws the carcass in the pot. He dumps water, dried vegetables, rice, spices and some wine, then sits back and hits the bottle of lizardfolk rice wine.

“Hey, you guys hungry?”

“Extraordinarily so,” Normus replies. “I demand you give me some. People of my ilk are not meant to starve so.”
“I jusht offereded you shom. Dumb ass.” The corporal says with a slur. He is very drunk.
“Oh, okay. I’ll take some them.” Normus says and would proceed to eat, when given food.
Normus also rests and to rest, he goes back to the ship to sleep.

Malak, noticing that Tom has no clothes, tells Thomas Hank “we do have a jester outfit if you’re interested,” I think the great coat has gone missing.
Thomas Hanks gladly accept the jester outfit, but he only puts on the hat portion of it.

Malak takes his blanket back and goes to his equipment. As Malak stuffs his equipment back into his bag, he feels two sets of hands grab him. One wraps around his mouth, the other by his waist. They drag him to the bushes and flip him around. In the dim light he sees two Elves he remembers from the Azurian Village.

Maverick is still clinging to Malak’s shirt.

“We’ve finally tracked you down. It’s taken a few months and some border hopping, but now we found you. Hand over the mask you half breed.”

Varok, and Lorius were two elven warriors of Azuria. However, they had a craving for power and after a civil unrest they were exiled by the village. They came across the Voodoo orc ruins in the mountains and discoverd the true nature of the mask. They ‘craved the mask for themselves’ (however hadn’t really planned so far to whom got it) Eventually they struck a deal with the Voodoo orc’s and it was Varok and Lorius who let the defenses of the Village down (which was why the orc’s got by all of the ancient defensive spells so easily. telling the orc mages the secrets) It was Varok and Lorius who lead the orc’s into the mask’s shrine when they saw Malak escaping with it.
Malak takes Anti- grapple check. He casts continual flame on the elf’s foot who was holding him.

The Elf’s boot lights on fire. He looks down and screams (Not loud enough for the rest of the party to hear) and lets go of Malak. The second Elf still has his hands around Malaks’ mouth.

Maverick crawls from Malak’s chest and bites down hard {{ferrets have fucking hard teeth and jaw pressure!!}} on the other elf’s hard and thrashes her head side to side a shark like manner
The Elf holding Malak’s mouth takes 1 damage and curses in elven. He releases Malak to chase his friend with the burning foot. (Magical fire, Ouch! That’s gonna be a pain in the ass to douse)
“What in the name of Christ was that about Malak!” Maverick demands
Malak pulls out his core saber.“Blood-traitors” Malak states darkly.
“Holy shit. Why do they want the mask Malak? please u know i wouldnt tell a soul. well except maybe the Big Man Upstairs, but He already knows anyways soo…!” Maverick asks
“No time, Later” Malak says. Malak goes to attack one of the elves.
The second elf has disappeared into the darkness. The second is visible to Malak’s low light vision because of his blazing foot that he continues to scream about. To Maverick’s surprise, she can see as well as Malak in the darkness.
Maverick is unsure of what she could possibly do as a ferret but runs with ferret speed after Malak anyways. She prays for the fire on the elves foot to grow larger in order to disable his movement. she would stop to make the sign of the cross but her ferret arms are teeny so it’d be very awkward.
As Malak and Maverick (Ferret) chase the Elf with the flaming boot through the swamp, Darth watches from the bushes, his flaming bastard sword in hand.

The flame-boot elf trips and Darth watches as Malak stands over him with a saber in hand. Malak is wearing a burning mask and has a small yellow ferret on his soldier.

Maverick’s ferret sense begin tingling. “Malak, my ferret senses are giving me this weird feeling we are being watched….” Maverick whispers, her whiskers twitching. Spot check for suspicious surroundings.

Maverick notices a man in the bushes. “MALAK!!!! MALAK!!!!” Maverick whispers loudly, “THERES A MAN BEHIND US!! TURN AROUND!”

Malak steps on the elf whose foot is burning to keep it from escaping, and turns to see the man Maverick had just mentioned.

“I hate wood creepers, they are so much freakier than mall creepers….” Maverick whispers, perching up on Malak’s shoulder.

While Malak is distracted, the Elf whips a knife out of his black colored shirt (Wait, isn’t black a shade?) and cuts the burning boot off of his foot. He stabs Malak in the foot, and then throws him off of himself. Malak takes 1 damage, and his speed is reduced.

Maverick launches at the elfs juglar vein with her tiny ferret war cry. “IIEEEEEEEEEYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” {{<——ferret>s clothing and begins wildly reciting heal prayers and curse lifting prayers in both Tongues and Ferretenese using her nose to make the sign of the cross across his body.
Maverick still can feel the man watching her from behind and it makes her uneasy.

As Maverick runs over to Malak the bleeding Elf limps away into the shadows. The two hear sloshing in the dark swamp, then silence.
Maverick looks over her shoulder at the man behind her still mumbling prayers.

Malak trudges back to his camp staying up all night to guard against the man if he approaches them.

View
Day 3
Nobles and Lizardfolk

The next morning everyone is awoken to the sound of banging on the sides of the walls. Several peasants are seen wandering around inside Normus’s house. They are rummaging through every nook and cranny, desperately searching for food. Other peasants are pushing each other out of the way, trying to get in on the action. Several more are stationed outside, banging on the walls, waiting for a chance to rummage. It is 6:30 am.

Malak, you’re equipment remains untouched. You are mildly hungry, and very lightly thirsty.

Maverick, the peasants have stolen you’re porn. You are very hungry, very thirst, and you particularly have been awakened by several peasants liking what’s left of your last meal your face.

John, you’re fish bones have been stolen. One of the peasants close to you appears to be choking. You are lightly thirsty.

Normus, you have the normal aches and pains from living the life of a lower middle class civil servant. While most of your house has been turned upside down (Because the door was kicked down), you’re barrel of rain water outside is clean and untouched, and the peasants have thus far been unable to locate you’re jar of food. The walls of your house are beginning to buckle.

Suddenly, a peasant screams triumphantly, and holds up a large jar of grain scrapings that the managers of all work stations are given weekly. Every peasant with in hearing distance dive-bombs the peasant with the jar, literally ripping him apart like wild dogs. Mary (Who has been sleeping next to Maverick) sees the walls crumbling, and weaves through the sea of rabid poor people, and escapes to the outside. The peasants outside are beginning to pound through the walls in a frenzied attempt to get at the food.

John first takes a moment to laugh at the choking person and then realizes the terrible stench of people and even worse poor people. He runs out of the house cutting down anyone who gets in his way.
Maverick pushes off the servants in disgust, “WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ONE WHO GETS LICKED ALL THE TIME!!!!!”. noticing the walls buckling, she grabs her satchel and shakes Malak. “GET UP!! THE WALLS! THE WALLS!!” she cries and makes a dash for the door, ‘accidently’ kicking Normus in the crotch on the way out, shouting “MARY! MARY!! WHERE ARE YOU?!”
Malak, awakening, grabs his equipment and follows the trail of John G. taking advantage of the clearing that he leaves in his wake.
The house begins to shake, the walls snap, and the roof collapses. Normus is saved by several peasants who act as cushioning (But are killed in the process.) He notices his jar of grain has sadly been smashed. Luckily, the water barrel was far enough away from the house that is wasn’t knocked over in the collapse. Mary managed to get out unharmed. Normus is trapped under the wreckage.

“Well now we out of filthy house who want to go raid rich fat humans?” John says with a hopeful look in his eye.
John looks around at everyone knowing that no one will want to save him so he lets out a big sigh which really sounds like a hiss because he is a lizard. “Me save him” John says reluctantly. He takes a big gulp of water out of the barrel and dives in the wreckage and tries to pull out Normus.
Crap, Maverick is under there too…" Malak says. He fills his canteen with water and does a spot check for Maverick. But he sees that Maverick did in fact make it out of the wreckage
Maverick smiles at Malak, “thanks for the concern though.” she grabs Mary by the hand and goes over to the barrel and drinks her fill of water and then lifts Mary up to the water to have a drink. she sighs and calls out, “hang on John and ill give u a hand!!” she looks at Mary, “stay close to Malak and keep urself out of trouble sweetie, ok?” she ruffles Mary’s hair and runs toward the house to begrudgling get Normus out from under the wreckage.
While everyone stands around the tattered scrap pile of what used to be Normus’s home, Malak spots a man on a platform approaching. The man is dressed elegantly in black flowing velvet robes, trimmed with gold and several sapphire pendants hang from his neck. He himself is incredibly skinny, and strangely rather handsome. He has short blond hair that sticks up on the left side of his head. He has a short, straggly pointy chin beard and thin eyebrows. Not much else can be seen under his rather modest clothing choice (Modest in a sexual term, this guy might as well have a sign around his neck that says “Bow to me, I’m rich”.) while he floats on an opaque blue disk. He is surrounded by Royal guards, and for the first time since you entered the city, fat peasants.

He stops ten feet from where everyone is standing.

Greetings lesser beings. I will grace you not only with my presence, but also with my own introduction. I am the great and powerful Arch Duke Shourecrox, the great, great 13th cousin twice removed to the King of Ranpurre himself and a member of the Letan dynasty. Normally I wouldn’t sully my hands by coming to this wretched filth hole, but I imagined that my presence would help carry the gravity of the situation." The thin rich man says.

As he is talking, two fat peasants waddle over to Malak, and lay a large gold trimmed chest in front of him. One of the Fatties opens up the chest. Inside are dozens of masks, all made of fabulous materials, Rubies, Diamonds, platinum, gold, silver etc.

“Amusing, isn’t it. How those in my employ walk. You see, Azg the Mechanist has found a miraculous way to magically suck fat out of a Higher Being’s body and transplant it into another creature. I use this fascinating process to keep my servants from starving to death with out having to waste wonderful food on their mongrel pallets. Speaking of which, I feel a bit peckish. YOU, BRING ME DANISHES!” The duke roars pointing to an arbitrary peasant. The peasant waddles over to a large basket several other poor people are struggling to lift, and withdraws a large silver plater filled with pastries. He huffs over to the duke, who has withdrawn a timer from his robes.

“Too slow, give me the food and have him excruciated. I suppose I will have food sex later.”

The Royal guards wring their hands together gleefully, and snatch the food away from the peasant. One hands the tray to the duke as two more are handed what look like two very large spiked egg-beaters. The peasant begins pleading for forgiveness as both guards stick the tip spike of one of their tools into his back and one into his stomach. The spikes spring open like an umbrella, twisting the peasant’s face in agony. The Guards begin cranking the handle on the “Excruciators” and the metal blades inside the peasants body begin spinning. The Tools quickly turn the peasants gizzard into a tossed salad, as fat and viscera fly through the air, showering everyone with in a five foot radius in a macabre misting of blood and fragments of obliterated entrails. While all this is happening, the Arch duke stands calmly eating his pastries. Blood vomits up through the peasant’s mouth as his eyes are blown out of their sockets. Finally the guards stop, and shake the remains of their Excruciators.

“Well, all well and good, but enough pleasantries, it is time to get down to business.” The Arch Duke says, throwing the empty plate to the servants. They all jump on it, and fight each other for a chance to lick the discarded dish. Duke Shourecrox points at Malak. “You sir, appear to be an exotic world traveler. I am a collector of sorts. I would like to buy that mask you are wearing. I’ll give you everything you see in that trunk in front of you, as well as six thousand platinum. I’ll even throw in food. What do you say?”

A Peasant attempts to lift a mask out of the trunk to show Malak it’s fine quality.

“DON’T TOUCH THAT YOU BLUBBERY, ABOMINABLE, LITTLE IGNORAMUS!” The Arch Duke screams at the top of his lungs. “Excruciation.”

The peasant is dragged back, and killed in the same manner as the last.

“You humans kill each other so wrong.” John says while shaking his head in disapproval. “This how you do it” john grabs a peasant throws him to the ground grabs his great club and squashes the man’s head in. “quick and easy. you no waste time. you would know that if you raised nerfs like i do”

Maverick moves swiftly over to John, lightly gripping the back of his neck and lifting him off the peasant, “Enough, that’s not necessary John.” She plops him on the ground a few feet back from the peasant fully expecting John to go back and poke at it some more. She then steps toward Malak carefully in order to grab Mary’s hand. “I don’t think we are interested in your offer sir,” Maverick says calmly shifting her eyes warily toward Malak. Her eyes shift from green to blue, then amber.

John hits the peasant in the head. the peasant kicks john in the groin, then waddles away back into the crowd, out of john’s reach.

Maverick attempts to lift John, but fails (Because he has about a foot and 90 pounds on her).

“Keep your tongue in its yap hole slave. This is between The Elf and Myself…” the Arch Duke begins. It’s then he spot’s the change in maverick’s Eye color. “You’re one of them aren’t you? Those damn priests who keep standing in my way! I’ve been civil with you Voodoo scum thus far, but meddle in my affairs again, and there will be blood.”

John finally losing his patience with the antics of the humans says “me out of here you all stuiped B**ches.” John starts to limp away back to the town to go find Zemire.

“Look,” Normus says. “I believe that you Malak should in fact make this purchase with the Duke as it will get us in good grace.”

“By the way,” Normus bows down to the duke. “I am Normus T. I am of good stock with noble ties. How may I be your service”

“I am gracious to make your acquaintance, Arch Duke Shourecrox. However the mask is not for sale.” Malak states in a friendly, yet firm manner. “I see that you have many more beautiful masks…. I am sure you can have a man craft a mask in likeness to this one."

Maverick rolls her eyes and sighs and elbows Normus in the ribs, “shuddup Normus, he doesnt care.”

“He does care.” Normus begins flailing his arms. “Look at me your lordship. I am better than them. I am special. I’m a landowner. This is my property. I’m your host! I’m an equal to you.”

“Sir, I will allow you to marry my daughter and join us in the house of nobility if you can convince you’re friend to sell me his mask.” The Arch Duke says to Normus.

“Sir, that mask as far as I can tell, is part of a collection of very rare religious artifacts. That mask is one of the last two that have eluded me. It would drive me absolutely insane if an opportunity this auspicious were to pass me by.”

“Malak, I insist that you sell that mask as repayment for using the shelter of abode. Please sell it! Please!” Normus begs.

Normus then whispers to Malak: “Perhaps me getting rightfully married into nobility can help your mission, whatever it is. I’ll have even more incredible connections.”

Maverick giggles at Normus, “Just take it off his face Normus, nothing could possibly go wrong!” Maverick says eyeing him with a devilish grin, her eyes flicker red for a moment and then back to amber.

Malak steps away from Normus and the rest of group.“I regret to disappoint both of you, but this mask is not for sale at any price. You will have to accept a model for your collection. I refuse to yield. If you have no further business then with the mask, I must be off.” Malak goes to walk towards the city.

“Very well then sir. I must warn you, I can’t take the property of a foreigner, but I always get what I want.” The Arch Duke sneers. He tosses a platinum piece to Normus and hovers away, his posy following him.
Meanwhile John searches for Zmire. It is 6:45. John heads to the dock but does not see Corporeal Zmire. He is over two hours early. John dives in the water of the dock. Spot check for what may linger down there. Including money.

“Hey hold up Malak, do u got a flask or something, we should take some of the water.” Maverick calls out to Malak who has apparently started to head for town.

Normus grabs his platinum piece and follows Malak into the city, saying. “Well, buddy, you really screwed me. Didn’t you? Now it looks like we’re in it together. Tell me what this mission is.”

Malak says to Normus “You would sell your soul to be a part of a group of people who are no more valuable than those they step upon. I would recommend devoting yourself to someone or something of worth.”

To Maverick Malak responds " I have already filled my canteen, Its all I have to carry water"

Malak keeps an eye open for John but fails to find him. Malak does notice an equipment store a few feet away. The time is 7:00 am.
Malak enters the store, Spot check for decent arrow heads and anyone at the counter. Malak spots a box of Core arrow heads behind the counter, as well as a very skinny gnome.

Normus follows Malak into the store and says, "I wouldn’t sell my soul literally, but I would metaphorically but isn’t the fact that they’re still human beings but have immense power part of their appeal. If I could make my equals unequal by the sheer force of my power that’d be pretty cool!

Malak sighs and shakes his head.

He looks at the gnome in front of the counter. “How much will you give me for this?” Malak asks, displaying the cross dagger.

“Don’t purchase that cross-dagger,” Normus says. “He should give it to me for free as I’m his better and then I’ll pass it on to you.” Normus then sighs, “Or at least, that’s how it should be.”

“I’m sorry sir, but the money here is pointless to have since food is so expensive. I only except payment in the form of food. As for your shank, well…… I can give you a silver piece for it tops. I know a crazy guy who thinks he’s a paladin. I could probably sell it to him.” The Gnome says to Malak.

“As for you sir, you seem much to under dressed for traveling (As compared to your friend). I could offer you some equipment if you’d like?” The gnome says to Normus.

Malak says to the Gnome. " I’ll take the silver piece thank you." He says and hands him the cross. “I shall return with the currency you prefer.” Malak says.

After payment is done, Malak exits the store and makes his way to the place where John G. bought food.

Normus says to the gnome, “I won’t buy anything from you, scum!”

Normus follows Malak. As Normus is leaving, the shop keeper smashes him in the head with a beer bottle. Normus takes 1 damage.

Maverick strokes her thumb motherly over Mary’s hand, “Yes and u stay away from people like that….especially Normus.” Maverick grows bored of the shop and decides to peak into the church she saw earlier for a moment. “Say, Mary, have you ever been to church?”

“Yes. The Guards said if I wasn’t Christian, they would kill me and I would go to hell.”

Maverick frowns at the little girl, “It’s a shame u were forced into such a beautiful thing, come on lets go pray before we meet up with the others.”

As maverick enters the church, she sees that the entire interior is made out of gold. The entire church is bejeweled and endowed with a bronze statue that spits whine.

A man wearing priest vestments walks up to Maverick with a collection basket.

Maverick smile at the priest, “Father we have no money to give for you or your church, please forgive us.” Maverick looks down at Mary, then to the priest, “we could use some help, if any u can provide. we are on a mission from the Heavenly Father, forgive that details must be disclosed. May u help us Father?” Maverick inquires graciously.

“How may I help you child?” The priest asks Maverick.

“Any blessings, items that defend against the forces of evil or useful traveling items would be a great request. and food and bandages for this child here. Anything u can spare, we will be forever in debt to your and the Lord’s holy name!”

“I’m sorry, but for my assistance, I require a donation, in the form of a small child, I had assumed that is why you brought the girl. As you can see, the nobles have given us plenty of money in return for absolving them of all of their sins. As for spells, god has recently decided that all magic is evil, so we aren’t allowed to do blessings anymore.” The priest says.

Mavericks face twists in rage and she spits upon the ‘priest’, “u know nothing of God!” she screams. She swoops up Mary in her arms and flies out of the church and into the streets. She begins to head toward the docks in hopes of locating her comrades….and Normus.

The time is now 7:30.

Normus hears someone call his name and goes to investigate

Meanwhile, Malak manages to find the place. He watches as several shop employees haul several dead bodies inside.

Malak (after some effort to stop himself from throwing up ) walks inside and says “give me as much good meat as this silver piece will afford me.”

The man behind the counter hands Malak 10 ozs of meat.

“We have rotten animal meat that will give you horrible anal bleeding too.”

Malak replies “No thank you,” He makes a mental note that the meat he had just bought is for currency not consumption.

Malak leaves the meat shop, and returns to the equipment shop. He asks “How much for the arrow heads?”

“Quarter of an ounce of any food group each.”
(Core is a new supernatural material of my own invention. It is actually a sample from the super dense core of the planet. It is as hard as adamantine, but twice as heavy. Being a supernatural material, It makes any weapon made out of it masterwork (+1) but it also gives all weapons made out of it fire energy quality as well (1 damage of fire energy. Adding these on to your arrows would give them +1 to hit and 2 damage).)
“You look scraped for cash, and I do have these crappy tin arrow heads that I was going to throw out, I could give those to you for free, as long as you buy some Core arrow heads.”

Malak says “Thank you. I’ll take 20 core arrow heads, which ought to be 5 oz of meat.”
Malak drops 5 oz of meat on the counter. “How much is rope and a grappling hook and medical supplies?”

The gnome at the counter swings a box of sixty crappy tin arrow heads onto the counter, then hands Malak the 20 Core heads.
“I can give you a small Med kit for an ounce, a grappling hook for 3 ozs, but rope’s expensive. Rope will cost you a pound. We also got potions too.”

“Thank you.” Malak says. “What type and kind of potions do you have?” He inquires.

“Well, we got molotov potions, we got smoke bombs, we got healing potions, we got bowl buster liquid (Poison), Cat’s Grace potion (Increases ranged accuracy. Temp), we got jump’en potions, and we got hidin’ potions (Animals and undead). They’re all quarter pound.”

Malak purchases a few potions. After recieveing the items that he has paid for Malak goes to the docks.

As John climbs out of the harbor he sees Corporal Zmire

“Mr Corpral man. Did you eat? NO me no care we eat breakfast now or never again in our lives. Come let we leave here because it smell of bad fish and rich swine.” John throws his arm around Zimires and leads him away from the dock. "any place good around here?

“Oh John, hello. You’re here early. Hungry, huh? Well, I can get you some food at the place I spent the night. Maybe we can even get some for the road. Wait. Where’s Maverick and Malak?” Corporal Zmire asks.

John shrugs.“So smelly man i feel like we never talk no more.what number of offspring who wiffe. tell john about feelings.” john says as him and the corpral are walking.

“John, I met you two days ago, of course we don’t talk.” Corporal Zmire says raising an eyebrow

On Maverick’s way to the docks, she catches the back end of Malak, heading towards the dock. Even more strange, she sees Normus, hunched over talking to someone under a large pile of wood. Maverick sneaks over to listen in on the conversation

Normus picks up the talking helmet and places it on his head and then says, “Well, sir. I would love to take up your proposition and show those slobs who’s their boss! They are filth. I am an individual of proper standing, though, highly proper standing.”

Maverick doesn’t manage to hear what the two are saying, but she watches Normus drag a shiny silver helmet studded with sapphires out of the pile. He places the helmet on his head.

“I know you,” Normus says to Maverick. “What are you doing here? What are you looking at too?”

Maverick glares at Normus, “Thank you for pointing out the obvious. I am questioning the sanity of my fellow comrade who appears to be talking to a helmet.” she hmphfs and walks towards the docks. “You stay away from him Mary u hear me?” Maverick whispers.

“Keep that thing away from me.” Normus points at the child.

“She thinks ur icky anyways,” Maverick retorts

Malak reaches the docks and searches for rope at the docks to fit the grappling hook that he just purchased

Malak finds some rope on the dock that matches his hook perfectly. As he is picking it up, a large hairy man with a unicorn tattoo on his right arm stomps up behind him.
“What do you think you’re doing with my boat tether?”

Malak turns to the man. “Simply examining the quality of the rope my good man,” (bluff check) “Where did you purchase such material, and for how much?”

“Sure you were.” The man says sarcastically. “I got MINE from the dock shop.” he says pointing to a large shed-like building.

" So I see… thank you for your time good sir." Malak states and moves to leave towards the dock shop.

The man stares angrily a Malak as he walks away, then turns back to whatever he was doing.

“So, Maverick can you tell me just what this mission you’re on is about? I can contribute. I am important.” Normus asks

Maverick shrugs. “It’s not my mission to reveal, im just….obliged to help. And no, u are not important.” Maverick says poking her finger into his chest.

“Quiet, woman,” Normus says. “One day you’ll be sorry for these insults you’ve directed at me. One day you’ll see the truth about your place in this land.”

Maverick rolls her eyes. “Sure, whatever. Let’s get going soon please?” she mumbles to herself in tongues “and maybe he can ‘accidently’ drown on the way??”

“Whatever you feel is right Maverick. We still don’t fully know what we are dealing with.” The churub says.

As the three are walking, Maverick doesn’t notice that they have reached the docks. She walks by the boat shop, and crashes into Malak.
“Hey Maverick…” Malak says… “I thought I asked you to stay off the Blagor…" he says .
Maverick sits up on the ground a bit dazed, “the wa?…never mind I don’t care what u mean. Sorry, wasn’t paying attention…” she looks over to Normus, “I had….other things on my mind.” she pulls herself to her feet.

“Ah there you are, you creepy feller….” Malak says to Normus.
Malak looks around for John G and manages to see John and the Corporal walking towards the middle ring. John and Corporal Zmire are fifty feet away from the group. Neither of the two has seen them. The time is 8:00 am.
“But we be so good friends. John want to know you.” John tells Corporal Zmire. John hugs Zmire. Its…… kind of awkward.
Malak walks up to John and Zmire.

“John…. did I just see you give the corporeal a hug?” He asks curiously.
“Oh, everyone is here……. and then some. What are all these people doing here?” The corporal asks Malak.
Maverick walks up to join the rest of the group, Mary in tow. She ducks in-between Malak and John in order to avoid standing next to Normus.
Malak says pointing to Normus “Baggage. He knows too much. I wanted to kill him, she said no" Malak then points to Maverick. Upon Malak’s finger pointing to Maverick, it drops down to point to Mary " She’s Maverick’s. Handy canary for a coalmine." he says and shrugs.
“ME NO UNDERSTAND WHAT EVERYONE SAYING! ME NO LIKE… ME NO LIKE!” John throws his fist at normus’ stomach and walks away. He mumbles to himself something about nerfs and starts to walk to the deck.
“I’m not sure the kid is a good idea. First off, She’ll slow us down. Second, I don’t want to be held accountable for when she gets hurt. Third… she’s just a kid! Doesn’t she have parents or something?" Zmire says. “And you. You’ve seen too much, huh? I have orders to terminate anyone who gets wise to what we’re doing.” The corporal says to Normus, unholstering his paddle. As Zmire takes an aggressive step towards Normus, a stocky human with a ludicrously swirly mustache stalks up behind the corporal and clears his throat very loudly. The man is wearing a green and blue Ranpurrian Army uniform. Zmire whirls around and snaps to attention. “Brigadier General Muoose, SIR!”

“At ease Corporal. This must be the motley crew that the Major picked.” The General says in a gravelly voice.

“Everyone, this is Brigadier General Muoose. He is our contact for this check point. Um, Major, Sir?” Zmire says inquisitively.

“Oh, that’s right. Bonray Surolian’s been promoted. He’s Major Surolian now. What seems to be happening here?”

“Sir, this civilian has learned of our mission and is considered dangerous to our operation. I was about to silence him.” Zmire says pointing to Normus. The Brigadier General takes a long hard look at Normus.

“I know you. You’re that middle class farm manager who was convicted of those rape crimes. You got off with community service because you’re sister intervened. Corporal, this man is under the protection of the royal family. Sadly, even I don’t have the authority to have him put down, and this is a much too crowded place to do it quietly. Just take him with you. Do it at knife point if you have too. Just don’t kill him. If anything should happen on the mission, he died in service of his country.” Muoose says.

“I’ll fill you in on the mission on the boat.” Zmire says to Normus.

“Well, if everyone’s ready, the boat is. You’re all luck, the next couple of miles is glade, so we can set you up with a fan boat. They go much faster than paddles. Good luck, god speed.” Muoose says waving as he walks away.

“Crap in a hat…” The Corporal sighs. “I guess since we’re here we can get going early. At least we can get moving ahead of schedule. Everyone ready?”

WAIT!” john gives Normus the x-ray monocle and a gold ring studded with emeralds. He gives Maverick a jeweled terra. Malak the angel band and a flame dagger. John puts on the dragon god scale as spikes jut out of his back. “We ready to go now.” John replies

Normus puts on the monocle and gold ring, using the monocle to stare through the clothes of Maverick. He then says, “Thank you in advance for filling me in on the mission, Zmire. And by the way fellers, I don’t like the negative way you’ve discussing me. I deserve more respect than that. I won metaphorically speaking!”

Malak looks at Normus “Welcome to the gang then,” He says “However, respect comes from the merit of your actions… earn it.”

To Zmire he says “Well, Mary is Maverick’s responsibility, take it up with her. I wanted to get rope for this grappling hook but, I guess it can wait. I’m good to go.”

Malak does a Craft check to attach the 13 core arrowheads to the 13 darkwood arrow’s with stone arrowheads.
Malak flawlessly places the new arrowheads onto the darkwood arrows. (+2 darkwood/core arrows. Fire enchanted)
Malak does an appraise check on the angel band: Angel band Wearer sprouts white wings that allow them to fly at their base land speed. (Wings disappear when taken off.)

Maverick rips the monocle off of Normus’ eye and waves it at John, “u gave the fucking perv x-ray spects??!” Maverick grumbles a bit and then sincerely thanks him for the tiara.

Maverick turns to Zmire “Zmire i promise ill keep her out of the way. I can’t leave her behind, she’s my baby now. I’ll take care of her and well u kinda need me since I seem to be the only one here who can do any sort of spells at all. So if Mary goes, I go too.” Maverick pulls Mary close to her side.

Zmire simply stares at Maverick. “Let me tell you something Maverick, If this girl is important to you, say so, but don’t you dare threaten this mission. Major Surolian is the one chance this god forsaken country has to regain sanity. I will defend his vision to the death. I will have no qualms with shooting defectors on sight, am-I-clear?” Zmire says with a level of menace that defies his usual manner.

Maverick rolls her eyes, “Whatever, sure sure dont threaten the mission.” she says exasperatedly then under her breath, “stupid governments….grumble, grumble

He turns to Normus and says "Mr. Normus T, you have been drafted by the Ranpurrian army to serve your king and country. Your mission is to assassinate the leader of a terrorist group plotting a hostile rebellion that threatens the nobility not only in the capital, but the entire country. They plan to overthrow the government and replace it with a militant anarchist regime. Our final destination is Zula, and our target goes by the alias of “Ringgar”. The reward for Ringgar’s capture or termination is a substantial sum of money and the favor of the king himself”.

“We can’t have the nobility threatened,” says Normus. “I will serve.”

Normus tries to regain his monocle with a sleight of hand; and succeeds in retrieving it from Maverick. “Aha.” Normus puts the monocle back on and begins looking through the clothing of the young girl by Maverick and in his peripheral vision, a bit of Maverick.

Maverick turns on her heal and strikes Normus in the face, “knock ur shit off!”

Normus puts the glasses away. “Very well.” Normus says. “I’ll give you this indulgence for now. For now.”

Maverick steps past Normus onto the boat, Mary in tow.

“Okay, enough of this screwing around. Everyone on the boat.” The corporal escorts everyone onto what looks like a miniature Galleon ship {17’ by 9’} with several large enchanted fans bolted to the back facing upward towards the large sail sticking up from the center of the boat. The boat has room for eight people (Plus what looks like space underneath). A metal grate on the floor of the boat rattles, and the boat by pops up from under it.

“OI!”

He then sinks back down into the bowls of the ship.

“He’s related to the last boat driver we had. He will be operating the ship.” As everyone steps onto the boat, Zmire notices John slipping into the water. "Hang on John, this boat moves a lot faster than the last one. You’re going to have to ride with if you want to keep up.

John gets on the boat and gives a quick sniff. “Tat weird. It don’t smell like alcohol more like burning powder? Do this boat man snort powder?”

As John clamors over the side, corporal Zmire unhitches the boat from the dock. He swings the rope on deck, then hops up himself. As the boat pulls away from the dock, a tremendous explosion rocks the starboard side of the boat. Everyone is flung from the boat in the horrendous force of the blast.

John manages to escape with no damage thanks to his armor, thick hide, reflexes and his positioning as farthest away from the blast.

Normus as it turns out was the closest to the blast and takes 6 damage. He is bloody and close to loosing consciousness.

Malak is caught unawares by the explosion, but thanks to his reflexes, only takes 2 damage.

Maverick sees the blast coming at her in slow motion instinctively wraps her arms around Mary, shielding her from the blast. While Mary is unharmed, Maverick takes 4 damage.

Caporal Zmire is singed and literally blown back onto the dock, taking 5 damage. Miraculously, he manages to stand up and brush himself off.

Several Royal guards gather on the deck. They jump into the water and begin rooting around searching for something. As Malak stands up, they all rush towards him

“OH SIR! You look terrible; we must get you medical attention! We must take this mask off to make sure that you are alright!” One of them cries.

Maverick instructs Mary to stay still.

Maverick addresses the guards, “No please, please, i am a nurse i can care for him myself. by his condition i would say removing the mask at this moment in time could cause a displacement in his skull from the blast he has taken, please do not touch him!!” Maverick says swooping over Malak. Bluff check.

The guards ignore Maverick.

“Take the mask off him,” Normus whipers to the guards. “You need to give it to one of the nobles. That’s imperative.”

SHUT UP YOU!” Malak roars at Normus

STAY AWAY FROM MY MASK” Malak yells…. taking out his knife

He steps back and says to Zmire “I don’t trust these men!”

He says to Maverick “Thank you for your concern Maverick, but my mask protected my face.”

Maverick slaps her forehead, “No shit Malak, I was only trying to help,” she grumbles, “you are soooo welcome!”

Corporal Zmire swings the repeating crossbow off his back and chucks an ammo cartridge into the slot and aims at the crowd of guardsmen.

“Get the hell out of here ya vultures!” He barks. The guards mutter angrily to themselves, then file out of the water and back to their posts. Several military personnel come running over with buckets of water and blankets. Once the soldiers see that nothing but the smoldering pieces of what used to be a boat are on fire, they drop the buckets and head to a nearby supply shed. Normus has continued to bleed and has taken an additional 1 damage. He is at 2 life. His vision is getting fuzzy.

Several soldiers help Maverick, John, Mary, and Normus out of the water and dry them off with the blankets. The other soldiers return from the shed with bandages. They wrap the injured wounds. Everyone gets one hit point back (Unless you were already at full) and Normus has been stabilized. Just then Brigadier general Muoose pushes through the crowd.

“What the hell happened here!? Some one answer me!”

“Sir, there has been an unidentified explosion off of the side of our ship. No one was killed but it injured some of my men. Our boat was annihilated.” The corporal says staggering to a salute.

The Brigadier general eyes a Royal guard with an incredible amount of suspicion.

“I don’t know what you’re team did to piss off the nobles, but I can say for certain that they won’t last long if they stay here. Take my personal boat. Get out of here now.” Muoose says leaning in to the corporal. He leads the group to a ship similar to the last one. However, this one is larger, with a single cannon in the middle of the main deck, bolted to a revolving turret. The boat is painted green and blue and fly’s a Ranpurrian flag at the top of the mast.

“I’ll see if I can wrestle up an engineer for the controls…”

“That won’t be necessary, sir. I’ve had training in operating a fan-boat, and I am capable of operating the ship myself.” Zmire says.

“Well then, get a move on.” The Brigadier General says.

Everyone scrambles onto the boat and casts off.

Malak notices a length of rope on the deck that would fit his grappling hook.

Zmire swings under the deck, and the boat begins to hum. The fans begin to flap, and the boat quickly picks up speed.

Malak picks up the rope and puts it in his bag.

“What the fuck was that Normus?” Malak demands. “It sounded like you were against us.
If you want my protection I need to be sure you won’t stab me in the back.”

After John recovers from the shock of the explosion john starts to sway and turn green. “Me no feel so good.” then keels over the boat and vomits a little.

Maverick uses her ring to heal herself and then Malak and John.

Then she turns to Normus, “yes are you for us or against us, cuz if u plan to stab us in our backs figuratively, u can be sure the favor will be returned by one of us quite literally….ignorant prick.”

“I’m totally on your side.” Normus smiles. “I thought Malak didn’t need the mask anymore. After all, it’s just an ugly mask.”
Malak glares at Normus untrustingly. Malak looks towards Normus and says, “I have something that you want. This mask is far more important to me than THIS (flashes lift key to palace). If you want the lift key, you can have it, but NOT until this quest is over.”
The boat glides along on the water when suddenly, the fans stop.

“God Damnit!” Zmire yells bursting up from the under carriage of the ship. “The fan belt is broken. Fortunately there’s a lizard folk settlement near here. They probably have a junk shop. We’re going to need volunteers to get out and push, and volunteers to paddle.”

There is a large sand bar twenty meters to the left side of the boat. The water is waist deep, and leads to a large group of Darkwood trees (Presumably where the lizard folk settlement is). Fifty feet to the right side of the boat, several Goblins chase a large wild boar. The boar has been severely wounded, and the goblins are exhausted. No one has eaten today, and everyone is starving.

Malak takes out his rope and grappling hook.

(Common Knowledge, Normus: Pork is considered one of the rarest delicacies in Ranpurre, because of the nobles jealous hoarding of all high quality foods in the country. For one taste of ham, bacon Etc, peasants will literally do anything. Meat such as this is a symbol of wealth.)

John stares at the boar with lust and hunger. Saliva dripping down the side of his mouth he jumps out of the boat and runs/swims to the boar “Foooooooooooooooooood.” (Move silently check and hide check to hunt the boar.) As soon as john gets close enough he jumps out of the water and attacks the boar by biting it in the neck ignoring the goblins.

John Explodes through the water, leaving a white cloud of mist behind him as he move like a rocket towards the goblins and the Pig. All four creatures stop and stare at the pointy, screaming, bloodthirsty, giant lizard hurtling towards them at terrifying speed. Two of the goblins simply drop their weapons and run. One is so paralyzed with fear that he simply stands there voiding his bowels. John launches out of the water, clearing nearly ten feet in the air, then lands on the boar with a sickening crunch. The boar takes 1 damage. John rears his head back, hissing like a cobra, and sinks his teeth into the boar’s neck. The boar takes 2 damage. the boar attempts to shake john off, but it is too tired. It takes 1 damage from blood loss. As the goblin stands in one place stunned with fright, it suddenly sinks into the shallow water of the sand bar and vanishes.

John attempts to bite the boars head clean off by ripping away at the neck with nothing but his teeth and claws.

John Rips the head clean off the boar. (It is dead now.)

Suddenly John sees several black tentacles with spotted rings rise up from the water.

John attempts to grab the carcass and run to safety with it.

An enormous monstrosity rises from the muddy depths of the darkened water. A large crocodile like head with a mouth dips out of the brine, followed by a large swollen scaly black and yellow body. Four thin, spider-like legs with a single razor sharp talon elevate the body six feet into the air, reveling that the body itself is ten feet long and covered in long grasping tentacles. The beast takes so long to surface, however that john manages to limp back to the boat with his boar in tact. The corporal helps john haul the pig on deck.
“The fuck is that thing?” The corporal says hauling his repeating crossbow up from under the deck.
The creature shambles towards the boat at first, then charges the ship like a wild horse.

John grabs his great club and screams “HOLD YOUR FOUR LEGGED CREACHERS OF WHICH YOU RIDE UPON.” and braces for impact.

Malak curses in elven and slips on the Angel’s Band and grabs Mary. Malak’s wings burst out of his back in a brilliant flourish of rust colored feathers.

He takes flight from the boat and lands on the sand bar dropping off the little girl, landing on the sand bar to get a solid footing. He takes out his bow and fires a darkwood arrow (core arrow head).

The beast slams into the side of the ship, throwing Normus overboard. The monster gropes its numerous tentacles around the ship until it manages to lay touch on Maverick. It almost instantaneously wraps the entire arm around her and begins crushing her. She takes 2 damage. The beast slowly brings her to its mouth, when an arrow slams into the creature’s head. There is an extraordinary burst of fire and the monster screams in pain with an incredibly shrill shrieking. It takes 4 damage and 1 fire. The beast drops Maverick. The corporal blasts a full cartridge into the beast, dealing 6 damage. Once he’s out he drops below deck. The monster grabs john by the arm with its mouth, but can’t crack the armor John is wearing. The monster suck the arm guard right off john, then spit’s it into the water after realizing it’s not meat.

Normus attempts to swim to the coast near where the pig was killed, hoping to grab a bite. “Too bad about that crocodile.”

Normus only finds blood. A tentacle lashes out and grabs him by the ankle. Normus is dragged under water. Just as Normus thinks he’s about to drown, the monster yanks him back to the surface and dangles him over its mouth it releases Normus and swallows him whole. (Normus is still alive, but is stuck in the creature’s stomach. Every action the monster takes deals one Acid damage to Normus)

Malak fires another darkwood arrow at the beast and John again attempts to attack the creature with his greatclub.

Maverick aims her rod for the beast and says the prayer of the Falling Comet, aiming just above the beast’s stomach.

Malak’s arrow zooms through the air and collides with the side of the monster’s head. It deals another total 5 damage. John smashes his great club into the creature’s tentacles, dealing 3 damage.

Suddenly, the door to the under carriage of the ship flys open and the corporal busts out swinging his paddle. He duck and weaves through the tentacles to get close enough to the head. He winds up and bashes the beast with all his might, dealing 3 damage.

The monster gropes around the deck and manages to get a tentacle around Maverick’s leg, tripping her. It quickly drags her towards its mouth and wastes no time swallowing her whole. As she is sliding down the creature’s throat, she utters her prayer for the comet. A small burning rock streaks out of the sky and strikes the monster in the back dealing 5 fire damage. The Monster shrieks and grabs Zmire, dealing 2 damage. Maverick and Normus take 1 damage. The monster then back hands John with one of its tentacles, knocking him to the ground. John takes 2 damage. Maverick and Normus each take 1 damage. Normus and Maverick are bloody. Normus is unconscious.

Maverick uses her mace to start bashing through the beast’s stomach and head toward the heart to crush it. As she does so she says prayers of healing for her and Normus both. She swings her mace and makes the sign of the cross twice.

John gets up and yells “URRRGGG! You pay for that inbread beast.” and attacks with his great club.

Maverick bashes and bashes, but nothing happens. The monster’s stomach is immune to blunt trauma.

The beast crunches Zmire for another 2 damage. He is now bloody.

John leaps into the air and lands on the monster’s head. He beats his great club against its skull with all of his might, dealing 3 damage.

Malak takes flight into the air, and fires 2 darkwood arrow at the monster. (multishot)

As Malak releases the arrows, John manages to spot him in an event that seems to take place in slow motion. John leaps off of the Monster’s head just as both arrows find their mark in the monster’s sweet spot. It pauses, screams, convulses violently, and then finally sinks back into the dark water, taking Maverick and Normus with it.

Maverick notices that the monster’s stomach has begun to fill with water.

Normus tries to become conscious. In his dreams, he wants to blame the group for his getting swallowed.

Normus has failed to regain consciousness. While the water has diluted the beast’s stomach acid, the entire cavity is almost filled with water.

John throws his great club away and grabs his sickle as he yells to Malak “Help corporal!” and heroically dives into the water. Spot check for the monster.

Malak turns and grabs Mary, he leaps into the air and flies to the fan boat. He removes the angel band. He runs below deck. Spot check for medical supplies.

Maverick firmly grabs a hold of Normus and tries to climb up the monsters large and long esophagus.

Malak manages to find a few clean linen bandages.

In the dark water, John manages to find the monster and grab a hold of its corpse. With every last ounce of strength in his scaly body, John hauls the cadaver to the surface and manages to cling onto the side of the ship with his claws.

Inside the monster, it is too dark to see, and maverick can’t seem to find the esophagus. She does find the half digested bodies of several other people (Some carrying magic Items). The water has stopped flooding the stomach, but is not draining.

ROOOOOPE!” John yell in desperation as he tries to maintain hold of the corpse of the beast fearing for his friends lives.

Search for and collect all items and scream like crazy for john to help “IM GETTING REALLY TIRED OF THIS ONLY HALF ABLE TO DO MAGIC THING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

The corporal picks himself up, spits blood, then wheezes,

“Where the fuck is the damn rope that was sitting on the deck before!?”

Malak emerges topside. He throws the bandages to Zmire and throws the rope to John “Grab hold” he yells.

As Zmire bandages his wounds John and Malak Haul the body on deck while John ties the body to the mast. John slices into the beast with his sickle. He butchers his way to the stomach and Maverick and Normus spill out. In addition, a good amount of gold and Items from the bodies of dead humanoids fall out as well.

Malak grabs as much gold as he can. Appraise check on nearest magical items. Malak uses his med kit on Maverick

Malak grabs a total of 673 gp (More in the monster) in assorted gold and platinum coins. He also finds a 1 luck dagger, 4 healing potions(5 hp), a hide from undead potion, an Enlarge person potion, a canister of oil of truth, a ring of jumping (5 feet), A mage hand scroll, bracers of archery (+1), and a set of pipes of the sewers. The rest of the treasure is unidentifiable.

Unidentifiable
Black Cloak with red flames embroidered on the bottom
Weird suit of full plate armor
Rusty Chain Shirt
Yellow Goggles
5 glass beads
A green wide brimmed hat
A silver embroidered blue Vest
A silver snuff box
Core Saber
Adamantine Ring

Current group hit points
Malak: Full (11)
Maverick: Full (11)
John: 9
Normus: 1 (Unconscious)
Zmire: 5

Weapons
Sap
Light hammer
Ball Bearing
Halberd
Ranseur
Hand axe
Net
Light Pick
20 Darts

Useful Objects
Utility belt
Edge Bane
Flasks x3
Chain (Ten feet)
Steel Mirror
Small Iron Pot
Spade
lock pick kit
Jester’s outfit
Black leather great coat
Burglar Cat Suit

Information

Utility Belt: Leather belt with several pouches for storing weapons, tools, small objects, and potions. Like a spell component pouch but better! Batman approved.

Oil of Truth: If rubbed on any part of a person’s body, they are compelled to truthfully answer any question asked to them.

Pipes of the Sewers: When played, allows the piper to summon a swarm of rats to do their bidding. The piper controls the rats until they stop playing. If the player fails the Preform check (Pipes) The rats will still be summoned, but they will attack the player.

Edge Bane: A new type of poison that was invented specifically for slashing and/or periceing weapons. Whenever a target is dealt damage by the poisoned weapon, they are stunned for one round. The poison cannot be ingested (No Effect). The poison lasts on the weapon for five hits or ten days.

“Hey, as there is plenty of gold to go around. why don’t we divy the items up fair and square so Normus can defend himself and we all get a fair chance at the objects.” Malak says. “I am interested in the following items, I am willing to barter, and if we are working together it’s pointless for us to fight amongst ourselves for items. Let us follow the example John set for us this morning.”

673gp,
1 luck dagger,
4 healing potions(5 hp),
a hide from undead potion,
an Enlarge person potion,
a canister of oil of truth,
a ring of jumping (
5 feet),
A mage hand scroll,
bracers of archery (+1),
a set of pipes of the sewers.
Black Cloak with red flames embroidered on the bottom
Core Saber
Utility belt
Flasks x3
Chain (Ten feet)
Steel Mirror
lock pick kit

“Guys, just remember we need to move the boat. That’s priority #1. Divide up the treasure and get to it.Normus is hurt badly, we have to find a healer in the village. Hell, we need to eat to.” The Corporal Says staggering to the center of the boat. His hand lands on the cannon and an aggravated look comes across his face. He reaches his arm inside and turns to the group.
“Why the hell didn’t anyone think to use the damn cannon. The thing’s fucking loaded.”

“Yes me knew that. But what fun be that if we use cannon and not fists! I think ……. OH DRAGON GOD THAT UGLY GUY BE PRETTY MUCH DEAD! WHAT HELL MATTER WITH YOU SMELL ZOIDS! SOMEBODY F***CKING HEAL HIM AND GIVE HIM A WEAPON AND A NERF FOR DRAGON GODS SAKE!” john yells very obviously seeing that even though Malak has healing potions he decides not use them. “but other than that me want the yellow goggles the snuff box, ring of jumping, and net.” John then nods.

“I was just getting to healing the little bastard, don’t you worry ‘bout ’im” Malak kneels down and pours a healing potion down his throat muttering something in elven. “That should be enough to keep him before he rests for the night. If we have trouble he can get a second. Maybe Maverick will feel merciful.”

Normus regains consciousness.

“Here John, i can already fly. Malak gives john the ring of jumping.

“Maverick this’ll be more useful for you then me.” Malak gives Maverick the mage hand scroll. “While I’m at it.” Malak says he gives the luck dagger to Normus and he gives the enlarge person potion to John.

Mage Hand: (For Sam’s reference) Telekinesis spell. Allows you to move things with your mind. Object must be within 20 ft. and must weigh 5 lbs or less.

The time is 4:30

“Where am I?” Normus asks. “What’s going on? This is a conspiracy here. That Maverick! She’s no good at all!”Normus puts his x-ray monocle back on and begins looking at Maverick.
Normus takes the silver-embroidered vest and puts it on. “Ah, hah. I always wanted something of this nature.”

Normus also puts on the green-wide brimmed hat. “Now I look even classier.”
As Normus puts on the vest and hat, he begins to feel an unbearable cold sensation. He takes 1 ice damage.

“Ah,” Normus takes off the vest and hat. “It’s so cold!”

Maverick claims:
5 glass beads
Adamantine Ring
Black leather great coat
Burglar Cat Suit
Edge Bane

John puts all of his stuff in a semi neat pile and points to it and says “MINE” for everyone’s benefit and proceeds to hop over the boat and begins to push toward the village of his kin.

As the ship drifts into the large veiled grove, the group sees several wood and grass huts supported on long dark wood poles above the the water. Several lizard folk, all shirtless (The women don’t have mammary glands people, they’re reptiles) stare in awestruck wonder as the boat with the monster tied to it drifts in. Some start clapping.

“Hey Malak, hand me your rope and grappling hook. I can read a little Draconic, And I’m pretty sure that sign say General Store.” The corporal says pointing to a large sign hanging over a random hut.

Malak puts on the archery bracers and the utility belt. He attaches his potions to the belt and hands his grappling hook to Zmire
John jumps back on the boat eats some of the boar then rips the tooth off the sublioth and attempts to hollow it out in the form of a horn. (craft check, a horn as in the kind you blow into).
The corporal manages to hook the rope onto a tree near the store, and then pulls the boat up next to the Hut. He gathers the rope and hands it back to Malak.
“I’ll be in there getting the fan belt. Feel free to look around, or come with me.” He says hopping off the boat. "That treasure must be burning a hole in your pockets.”

John fails to make the horn successfully. His Sublioth-tooth horn kind of sucks.

Maverick uses the spade to cut off pieces of meat for her and Mary alike. “What now guys?”

Maverick finds a place below deck to change into the stealth suit and the great coat.

Normus picks up the hand axe and puts on the full plate armor. He takes 1 ice damage.

“Maverick, I beg you; please help me take this cursed vest off.” Normus says to her. Maverick notices that his speech doesn’t match his lip movement.

Maverick comes up from below deck, dressed in her new attire. She sees Normus in the predicament and shouts to the others “no, one touch him. Something is wrong! That suit of armor and that helmet on his head are cursing him!! it needs to be destroyed now, no touchy touchy though.”

“Maybe we can take him into town and have a magic enchanter disenchant the items.” Malak suggests.

John does not really care for the troubles of others of which he can not change. Thus he follows the corporal into the shop while breaking off 2 more teeth. Spot check the store to see what it has.

“yes but how will we move him? no, no, too much time!!”

Maverick lays flat on the ground in adoration and begins to intensly pray for the destruction of the helmet and suit of armor. She speaks in tongues faster than any fluent person could understand.

Wait, not the helmet!" Normus bellows. “Just the vest. The helmet’s not cursed. It’s the vest!”

ohn spots a bone carver shop a few huts down. As he walks into the general store and sees a very attractive female lizard folk working the counter a long yellow plumage of golden colored feathers flow down her back, her scaly legs are sinewy and and slender, and her snout is long, slender and perfectly angled. She hisses in draconic a typical greeting, then switches to common when she notices Corporal Zmire.

“Can I help you, human?” She asks.

“Yeah, I need a new fan-belt for a G-class gv-Fanboat.” He says, holding up the shredded remains of the machine component.

The clerk girl takes the fan-belt and hisses to herself with her hand on her snout.

“Yes, yes. I can help. I have parts, much parts in the scrap bin.” She says pointing to a large barrel in the corner of the store.

The corporal nods, then heads over to the barrel to begin rummaging for parts.

“How ’bout you, *s*s*s*s*” The clerk girl say switching back to draconic to john. John sees several large crops of tobacco, rice, dryed meat, salt, spice, dark wood furniture and other wood products.

Outside, Normus says

SUGGESTION: The helm is not what needs to be destroyed, just the vest.”

Maverick is suddenly compelled to change the focus of her prayers. The Vest falls off of Normus and he stops taking Ice damage.

“What just happened!? Did Normus just Jedi Mind Trick you?!” The Cherub exclaims.

Maverick fumes to the cherub in tongues, “ITS THAT FUCKING HELMET!! ITS MESSING WITH MY BRAIN!!!! WE NEED TO DESTROY IT!!” Mavericks crosses her arms

Normus jumps off the boat and leaves into the village. He finds a group of lizardfolk who are talking amongst themselves. Normus approaches the lizard folk and tells them: “That girl Maverick” and then describes Maverick and then tells them “She’s an evil spell caster who took control of the sublioth, and ordered it into the area. She’s no good. I’ve seen the horrible awful things she’s done. We can’t trust her. We gotta dispose of her.”

Normus approaches the lizard folk: “She lies with her hideous ways. She brought that bad Soblith creature or whatever here. She’s responsible!”

Normus then runs away as fast as he can from Maverick, assuming she’ll go after him.

Meanwhile in the store,“well” John says a bit nervously in Draconic “I…I was going to get some chewing tobacco and I was wondering if such a fair maiden such as yourself would like to accompany me in order for me to make a prize out of the monster I just killed. If you will?” John puts out his tail as a gentleman lizard folk would and hisses.

“Why yes, I would love to!” she says. “You and your friends must be very powerful adventurers to have slayed a monster such as that. The entire village is grateful to you. It must be hard working with creatures who smell so badly." She says, yanking a large crop of tobacco off the ceiling. “On the house” she says handing it to John.

“Well if it isn’t any trouble.” John rolls the tobacco into a ball and plops it into his mouth fitting it into a pocket in his cheek. He walks to the store that he saw earlier and asks the store clerk to make a horn out of one of the teeth.

WAIT JOHN! Where are you going, how am I supposed to pay for these parts without the shop keeper?” Zmire exclaims
John simply places 50 gold pieces into the very attractive lizardfolk and says “Should this cover it?” and then flexes a little. But discreatly for he is still a little shigh. John askes the shop keep of the carving store how much his fee will be.
The female shop keeper nods. Zmire rolls his eyes as the two leave muttering “Horndog” as john exits.

At the Bone Carver, a very old lizard folk looks over the teeth and nods. He says

“This is quite an expensive job. I would need at least 300 gp, and that’s as low as I can go, even for a hero like yourself.” The carver says in draconic. “Although, that shiny box you are carrying should be worth at least 200 gp…”

John gives the shopkeeper the box a tooth and 50 gold pieces. “My good sir please if you will” and hands him the tooth that is to be carved. He then takes the women lizardfolk and asks her, her name.

“Well my name is john. Tell me have you ever heard of NERFS?” After a great deal of talking and lizardfolk flirting, John goes to retrieve his horn as his last action before the ship leaves

A large group of lizard folk approach the boat and begin throwing rocks at Maverick. They snarl and roar curses at her in draconic.

Maverick {{who is now very pissed off at Normus}} puts on her chain mail shirt and switches it to milath in order to prevent damage. “Please, good people of the lizard folk! i am friend among u, I travel in companionship with one of your own!! this man is vile and will rape your wives and children if u do not be very careful!!” Maverick ducks down behind the hull of the boat until she gets a reaction. She prays for a mild lightning bolt to strike Normus, half heartedly.
Malak (off the boat) does a spot check for a potions’ shop. Appraise check, on the fire brimmed cloak.
The Cloak is actually a Pyro Cloak. The wearer can use continual flame twice a day and pyrotechnics once a day.

Malak spots several lizard folk walking out of a shop with multicolored bottles. Suddenly, Mary runs up to Malak with what appears to be some sort of blond ferret.

“Um, Mr. Fire-angel, have you seen Lady Maverick? I wanted to show her my new kitty.”

Maverick tries to remove the ring with her ferret teeth. “Malak!! ITS ME!!!! ITS MAVERICK!!!!” Maverick yells praying he somehow speaks ferret. She tries and tries to gnaw at her finger with her teeth, “at least im away from the lizard people….” she grumbles gnawing sum more at her finger but the ring disappears.

Malak looks down at Mary. “As a matter of fact, No I haven’t seen Maverick in a while. That is a very cute ferret that you have there.”

Malak puts on the black cloak with the fire.

Upon hearing the ferret cries. Malak says “Mary? You’re not squeezing that ferret too hard, are you? Where did you find it?” Malak bends down on one knee and observes the ferret. Spot check for unusual ferret behavior.

Despite the fact that Mary isn’t holding the ferret very tightly, it seems to be freaking right the fuck out. “I found her on the ship.”

“Mary, you be good to that ferret ok? She doesn’t seem too happy right now… where did you find her? Did you check for Maverick at the boat?” Malak says

“I found her on the ship. I tried looking for lady Maverick, but I couldn’t find her. I thought you might have seen her. That creepy Normus guy is gone to.” Mary replies

Maverick sees her only chance; she jumps from Mary onto Malak and begins to freak out. She jumps off Malak and onto the dirt ground and with her nails quickly scratches out “please help me!”

John takes his new found battle horn/trophy and blows into it as hard as he can and yells “ALLL BE ABORD! NOW! BE SWIFT OR DRAGON GOD BE ANGERED AND WILL EAT YOU!”

John walks up to Malak and Mary and asks “where smelly woman? Oh tasty snack.” John grabs the ferret on the ground and begins to put it in his mouth with his rows of razor sharp teeth.

“Whoa! whoah! JOHN STOP!!!!” Malak yells finally fitting the pieces together, “That’s Maverick!!!!!!!”

John pauses for a second and says “no silly this snack smells tasty not like friend.” he then continues to fit the ferret into his mouth.
“NO JOHN!!! SHE WAS TRANSFORMED WITH MAGIC!” Malak yells. Malak using ‘burning palms’ grabs John’s snout, holding open John’s jaws long enough to allow the ferret to escape.

John takes 1 fire damage.

John hisses and starts to spaz on the ground howling in discomfort yelling a rainbow of curses in draconic. “WHAT FUCK!” he attempts to stomp on the ferret for it was the reason for his pain and still does not get that the ferret is Maverick.

JOHN STOP!!!!!” Malak yells, he attempts to grapple the ferret.

Malak grapples the ferret. It continues to royally freak out.

Mary runs up to john grabs him by the waist. “Please don’t eat my kitty!”

John continues to rub his snout and says “Whatever stupid humans me go look for other stupid human.” Spot check for Normus

John sees Normus spreading Anti-maverick Propaganda on the other side of the village. John grabs him by the collar and drags him toward the boat and yells “LETS GO!”

Maverick squirms about in Malak’s palm. “I DONT WANNA BE A FERRET!!!! we must find a spell caster asap! and don’t u ever let Normus get a hold of me like this, he’s trying to KILL ME!!”

Malak looks at the ferret and says “Ok, Maverick just calm down i’ll get back to normal.”
he puts the ferret on his shoulder.

“John! do you know if there is a spell caster in town. I will be prepared to leave as soon as I finish my business with one.”

Gather information check for an enchanter’s shop.

“No now get on ship before john make you!” John shouts, still frustrated about his nose.

John Finally grabs everyone one, drags them back to the ship. The caporal kicks open the hatch to the below deck and revs the ship into movement. As the ship glides throgh the water, It runs towards a figure floating in the water.

Tom wakes up naked in a large swamp. The water is very cold, and the sun is beginning to set. He feels something brush up against his leg. He notices that several large crocodiles are eying him from a nearby sand bar. He suddenly sees a large boat hurtling towards him.

Thomas Hanks, as he prefers to be called for the remainder of this role playing session unless otherwise stated, waves his arms in the air trying to get the boat’s attention
Malak speaks to Zmire “Tell me, that our next stop is a city of some kind… because Maverick as a ferret is not helpful to our cause.”
“Well I don’t know, for some reason having her as a ferret suddenly sounds good. I… Don’t…. know…. why.” He says in a voice unlike his usual.
“HEY! There’s some random guy in the water!” The corporal says, peeking out of the grate.

Malak as an half-elf ranger has the capability to cast “Wild Empathy” allowing him to speak to animals a few times a day. Besides Malak,(who can understand her) everyone else hears her Ferrety cries as just squeaks. (Also when Malak speaks to her, he does so in squeaks)
‘Wild Empathy’ to Maverick Malak says “How the fuck did you become a ferret?”
FORGET THE FUCKING BOY!!” Maverick hisses, “IM A FUCKING FERRET!!!!!”

“You see Malak, Normus put this bright idea in my head to put on an enchanted ring. i however, did not know that this enchantment of sorts would makes me a DAMN FERRET!!!! how the fuck is a ferret useful except for maybe Normus’ sick phallic fantasies….” Maverick ferret shudders, which is similar to a human shudder only it’s a lot cuter.
“Maverick are you saying that, that helmet is controlling minds? Zmire did act rather oddly…” Malak says rather alarmed
“yes, that helmet has some sort of mind control powers. i was praying in adoration for both to be destroyed when a voice that wasnt exactly Normus’s voice told me ‘no just destroy the vest!’ and my mind automaticly switched what it was doing without me controling it! my cherub guardian says its dark magic.” Maverick says to Malak in ferret.
“I am in no way sexually attracted to ferrets,” Normus interrupts as he tries to pet Maverick. “You’re a Sibolith trainer. I was told so.”
“What???” Malak says “Maverick doesn’t know how to train crap, she’s a spell caster not a druid. And if she were controlling it why would it eat its master?” Malak argues
“Look, Malak. I just don’t want any trouble. None of you better stifle me because I’m going to do great things and there are many things I deserve, rightfully so. Just don’t give me any trouble. You can keep that ferret women for know. Just give me no trouble. Don’t let any agendas work against me, Malak. I’m not in this for joking around.” Normus begins acting all serious and pointing his finger.
Malak looks at Normus and suspiciously says " Yea, sure, whatever, Normus"
“And who the heck is in the water???” Malak asks
HELP” Thomas Hanks screams. “IM LOST AND I OWN A LOT OF GOLD IN THE CITY AND IF YOU RESCUE ME, I’LL GIVE YOU HALF OF IT”
He flails his arms in the air.
As John sees this guy he decides since maverick is gone we might as well pick him up. So he leans over the boat and grabs him and hoists him up. “This human no smell too bad. Smell like swamp. ME LIKE!” John then goes to hug this new found stranger.
Malak turns to Zmire and asks “Where’s our next check point?”
“Well, we’re stopping at a small island 6 miles from the next city. There’s a small military sentry tower on the island, but we’re still going to have to sleep outside. They will also supply us with our own boat, the Brigadier General wants his back (and it’s not like we used the fucking cannon).” Zmire says grabbing Malak’s travel blanket from his bag. He throws it around tom. “You okay? What happened?”
“I don’t remember anything” Thomas Hanks contemplates. “I only remember being in the swamp and then being let aboard this wonderful vessel” Thomas Hanks starts gnawing on the sleeves of the coat and asks politely if he could have something to eat.
The Time is 6:00 pm. 30 minutes till sun set.
“The night is young,” Normus declares. “Very young. We should rest up. Can you get us prostitutes, Zmire or Malak? Is there a spell we can use to summon them perhaps? We should also get some grain shavings to eat.”
“I have no way to get you women for your pleasure, Normus.” Malak states.

He does a spot check to see if the moon and sun are out simultaneously. The sun and moon are not out at the same time . A small island slowly drifts into view in the twilight.

View
Evening 2
Normus

Malak hides in the alley, bow ready, waiting for the guard to exit the tavern with Maverick

“Can I come to the palace too?” Normus inquires of the guard. “My sisters may be there for a function. I wouldn’t know for sure, but I need some cash.”

“If not,” he whispers to himself, while pointing at the door that Malak and John went through to exit the tavern. “I would like to see what these two weirdoes are doing.”

“Fine. I’ll let you use my lift pass, but only if you help me take this woman to the palace. Hurry, or I won’t win the extra rations.” The guard replies

Maverick looks over at Normus and mouth to him a clear and vengeful “fuck you pervert” She keeps her eyes peeled for Malak and John. “Fine,” Maverick says looking at the guard, “but you arent going to like me.” she smiles and begins to walk towards the door and looks back “well? let’s go already.”

John quickly digs his claws into the side of the tavern, and effortlessly scales it. He is positioned right over the door.

“Come on you middle class scum, let’s get this oracle to the palace.” The Royal guardsman says kicking open the front door and stepping outside.

“Thank you,’ Normus says as he now follows the guards, clenching his hands together evilly.

Malak, stepping from the shade, knocks a darkwood arrow and lets it loose aiming towards the guard’s head.

John grabs his sickle in his hand and jumps down for an aerial attack on the guards.

Just as Malak fires his arrow, John drops out of the sky. The arrow meant for the guard’s head splunks into John’s shoulder. John takes 2 damage. The guardsman looks around in utter confusion, then notices the 6 foot tall lizardfolk, lying on the ground bleeding form his shoulder. He then looks at Malak.

“Thank you my lord!” The guard smiles as he drags Maverick out of the tavern.

John pulls out the arrow and yells “where me embassy me want rights!”

“Ya got no embassy here, ya big crocodile. Come on ya cow, and you too ya middle class scum” The guard slanders.

As the guard passes by, he says to Malak,

“Excellent shot sir. You must be a general. Come with me back to the palace, I’ll see to it that you get a great room.”

Before the dumbfounded Malak has a chance to react, John shouts “NO! Me go to swamp or me get rights! or say it to me face you coward.” at the guard

“You wanna fight or something you damn reptile.” The guard turns to John

John jumps the guard carrying maverick and attacks him on the head with his sickle.

Malak knocks another darkwood arrow, waiting for John, and the guard to separate

With the guard now clearly distracted, Maverick takes aim for the back of the guard’s kneecaps with her staff and then quickly swings around front, jamming on end of the pole into the guard’s stomach.

“Please, do not hurt me!” Normus yells.

Maverick busts the the guard in the knee cap with the tip her staff, then flips her grip on the staff around and slams him in the back, sending him crashing to the ground. He takes 2 damage.
John roars with fury, and leaps into the air, his eyes glowing red. He epic strikes the downed guard, dealing 4 damage. The guard is bloodied. He blindly fumbles for his heavy mace hanging from his belt while also pathetically attempting to push John’s bulk off of him.

“John move ur head!” Maverick says and drives her staff down through the guard’s left eye socket, twisting it in hard.

John moves his head and drools on the guard a bit and says “Now who be crocodile scum!” and then bites the hand of the guard that is holding the mace.

John swivel’s his head, and maverick stabs the guard in the eye. He takes 2 damage. John sinks his teeth into the guard’s hand. He takes an additional 1 damage. With his last conscious strength, the guard punches John in the snout. John takes 2 damage. The guard finally loses consciousness to blood loss.

“Damn it John! Of all the fucking times you coulda fell outa the sky. I cuda had that bastard dead without all this fucking mess.” Malak remarks “Grab the coward and the orphan; let’s get outa here NOW!”

“Can we just leave the coward behind?” Maverick asks glaring at him, “He’s stupid and perverted!”

She takes the little girl by the hand, “Have u eaten enough not to eat your fingers sweetie?” Maverick “Here climb on my back, u must be tired,” Maverick says smiling at the little girl.

“MY NOSE! HE PUNCH ME IN F*******CKING NOSE! FIX STUPID HUMANS! FIIIIIIIIXXXXXX!” john shrils in agony. “Me take perveted human. me like him. You stupid girl heal poor girl instead of own comrade! you B*****ch.” (everything censored is said in draconic so no one understands it unless they can speak draconic)

“He’s seen too much Maverick. He’s coming with us, or I can kill him now if you like.” Malak darkly states in reference to Normus. He knocks an arrow to his bow and points it at Normus’s face.

“No, no maybe he can do something.” Maverick says thinking quickly. she turns to Normus, “but no touching me or the little girl u got it, or ill kill u before you’ve had time to get halfway up,” Maverick says darkly.

The little girl tells Maverick that this is the most food she’s had in months, and that she’s still hungry. Maverick sighs and does not heal the girl for she will just eat her fingers again! “Come here lizard boy….er….John, lemme fix your nose. Hold still!” Maverick grabs John’s nose, and heals 1 damage.

“Tank you. Me guess you not so stupid after all.” John says to Maverick

Normus follows the group and also asks “What’s going on here?” And then whispers to himself, “You’re all a bunch of slobs, if you ask me.”

Maverick smiles and says “Why thank you John.” then she turns to Normus, “well arent u just dressed to impress,” she snickers. “So does this mean he’s part of our little project now, Malak?” Maverick asks, then glares over at Normus.

“Don’t tell im nothing yet we should ask boss man.” John says

“I do say, sirs, I am a man of great esteem. I am farm administrator and boss around rural proletarians like yourselves.” Normus says. “You should respect my position and do tell me what is going on here. People like you should not have such power.”

John searches the guard’s body and finds a heavy steel mace, A lift pass to use the Aristocratic elevator lift, 200 gold, Pornographic pictures, A confounding cube, An arm guard (Armor. Adds to AC {Less likely too be hit}), Boots of springing and striding, and a Royal Guard uniform.

Normus attempts to steal the lift pass, but fails to get the pass without John’s knowing.

“I did not try to steal your pass,” Normus tells John. “I was just stretching.”

Malak states "Yea, i guess he’s along for now… “in response to Maverick’s question.

As john attempts to crawl into the guard uniform, he realizes it is too small.

Just then a mob of guards spots the naked body of their dead comrade.
Upon seeing the guards Malak screams in a loud voice “HEY I FOUND FOOD!!!!!”

The guards stare at Malak with a puzzled expression, until they feel the ground start to shake.
Malak screams, “RUN!!!!!”

He turns and runs into the opposite direction of the guards
John realizes that the clothes don’t fit him and rips them off. John still has pants and armor “Stop touching Johns pocket. Me no likey. Come come we run.”
“I despise your kind,” He clearly utters as he follows John and Malak
The Guards quickly realize what is happening when they see peasants running towards them. they scramble in a disorganized fashion as the mob draws closer.

THROW THE CUBE!! FOR GOD SAKES THROW THE DAMN CUBE!!!!!!!!!!” One of the guards scream. One of the guards manage to work a confounding cube out of his pocket, and hurl it into the middle of the horde of rampaging peasants. The mob stops dead in it’s tracks and stairs at the small brown chest. Immediately, they all dog pile on the strange little box. “Alright, enough fun, lets just head back to the palace. Grab a damn Oracle and saddle up. No extra rations!” The guards all moan dejectedly as they club a random bystander, and drag him back to the palace.

“Now that we have solved the problems of the guards,” Malak states in a cold manner, “What have you to offer us Normus? Although my compatriots are inclined to let you live, I see no reason to carry around extra baggage unless you can contribute. Your options right now are to help us in some form, or take an arrow through the skull. We have need for a place to stay for the night, food, and some money to buy some necessities.”

“Maverick,” Malak says turning to her. “I would normally not put up with us keeping this ragamuffin with us, but as I have learned from experience a little girl can be more helpful then she appears. Besides being a canary for potential future ‘mining tunnels’ she can also help us pass for a family on a trip in case we need to sneak into the next city.”

“I have a rather luxurious house where we can sleep and make our base of operations for whatever goal you are seeking that you fellows refuse to reveal to me. It’s on a rather nice piece of property near the farm I administrate. It’s a ways out of town, but there’s a shed in the backyard where all of you can sleep.” Normus offers his hand to shake hands with Malak. “What do you say? I can give you some hay to sleep on too, so you don’t have to rest on the Earth.”
“ME NO WANT YOUR HAY!” John snaps at Normus. “Me only want to work. Not bite head off. But me will ….. Trust John.”

Maverick smiles at Malak, “thank you, I’ve grown quite attached to her in these past few minutes of battlement.” she bends down to the girl and asks her name.
Then she looks at Normus, “I suppose the home of a pedophile is better than a prison.” she grips tight to the girl’s unfingered hand, “But I don’t like you and have many urges to spit in your face, although I somehow think you’d like that.” Maverick scowls.
“Thank You Normus,” Malak states, “I’m sure we can make sleeping arrangements when we arrive.”

“What are our necessities, now that we do have a little bit of gold, from the guard we can do a small bit of shopping before we depart to Normus’s home. I have the need for metal arrow heads and medical supplies in case Maverick becomes exhausted. Maybe rope and a hook if we can afford it.”

John gives Maverick the boots of springing and striding
“Thanks John,” Maverick smiles putting on the boots, “they’re perfect”
“Hey John, can I get some of that gold so I can buy some equpiment?” Malak asks
“Let’s go to my house right now” Normus say as he begins walking towards it.
“NO….IS MYN! you can have this paper though.(elevator pass) me no read.” John says and he gives Malak the elevator pass.

“Very well John, I’ll remember that…” he responds to John’s rejection
As they begin walking towards the home of Normus, the little girl tells Maverick that her name is Mary. As they walk, they see several examples of the horrible squaller that is the projects of Saint Loula.
Food carts in the street sell dead rats and apple cores on a stick for 600 gold, people attempting to burn money because wood is too expensive (however, most money in this city is coin, and as we all know it is very hard to burn metal), people killing each other in the streets for the vomited remains of food eaten by other people, dozens of children who look like starved african babies that we see on those TV ads that tell us to give them money or we’ll go to hell (But in reality we know the money is going into the pocket of an african war lord so he can invest more money in the opium trade, so really what’s the point? I’m sick and tired of these douche bags hitting people up for money when even those bastards at the red cross are, wait. I just got off track here didn’t I?) litter the streets. Maverick and Malak spot a sign that says
“Meat for a copper piece”

Maverick turns to John G, “well lookie there, it says Meat for a copper piece” stating the obvious since john can’t read. ” hey john lend me a coin will ya? u can have the most meat of all of us and ill find a way to repay ya. if u will?” Maverick extends her palm and smiles hopefully.

Malak looks untrusting at the sign…“I think we ought to pass this option up… Normus you have food at your home don’t you?”

Maverick looks over at Malak, “im not sure i trust the food at his home anymore than this. hes probably roofied everything.” Maverick shrugs “but whatever.”
“I don’t think I have too much food at my house. Why don’t you guys get some of this, and I’ll see what I have at my house for dessert maybe? I’ll have my stuff too.” Normus says.
“Why not, Maverick can always purify it, I guess” Malak shrugs.

“he gives me the friggin heebie jeebies!” Maverick exclaims quietly to Malak, tho perfectly loud enuff for Nomus to hear. "look he says he doesnt have much. just send in two people to buy and we’ll get the Heladahear.”
“No need to waste a purification spell. This meat looks good for your kind,” Normus says
“I think our kind will be the judge of that.” Maverick scowls.

While everyone was argueing john already walks in and says to the sales clerk “this much meat!” and lays down a single gold piece. “Me want lots of meat and fat and bone!”

“Do you want the good kind or the bad kind?” The sales clerk asks in his blood soaked apron.
“good good!” John shouts excitedly
John exits the store with 6 pounds of meat tied up with twine string.
“At least he went inside” Malak laughs.

“Thank you for accomodating us Normus. I do hope your wife won’t mind us.” says Malak graciously. “You will be paid for your services, trust me” he says with a smile flashing the lift key.
John eats 2 pounds of the meat bone flesh and all. then gives 2 pounds to malak and 2 pounds to maverick. “Skinny women you eat because you so skinny. you so skinny you fall through crack in floor. eat food cause your skinny.”
After eating, the group finally reaches the home of Normus. His house is a rundown shack sitting next to a gigantic cotton field. A large textile mill belches smoke in the far distance. peasants are banging on the crappy wooden door because they know that Normus keeps a small amount of food in his house. through a broken window, everyone sees that the inside of Normus’s home is even worse. The house is almost lined with rats, cockroaches, and spiders. The one straw mattress in the house is infested with ticks, and it smells like vomit and piss. There is no floor, and the whole house stinks like cheese. The house is a freaking wreck. Period. There’s garbage everywhere, no toilet, dead animal parts scattered all are rotting and filled with maggots, vermin are everywhere, the door (has recently) been blown down, the windows are broken, half the roof is de-shingled, the foundation wood is rotting, the structure is bearly standing, dude, it’s just a wreak.

The time is 4:00 pm. It’s two hours and a half till sunset. The moon is faintly visible over head.

“This is my abode. Don’t be jealous of it. It’s somewhat humble.” Normus says.

Normus looks at the peasants and shouts, “Get out of here or they won’t be any pay for you! You’ll starve then for sure, and then you’ll be the fertilizer for the ground. How you like that, eh?”
The peasants grumble and slowly shuffle away.

Malak sees the state of the house. “I take back my question of your wife…. It is obvious that you have none…..”

He does a spot check for time of day, sunset, and to see if the moon and the sun are out simulataneously. Malak, noting the position of the sun and moon, steps outside, genuflects and prays.
Maverick look at Normus stupidly “and u make fun of the kind of people….creature….er..whatever..WE are?” she clucks her tongue in disapproval. “oh well. it’s not prison, I guess.” Maverick goes to explore the grounds for any things laying around she might be able to—ehhh—borrow.
Maverick finds an old wooden cross, half a candle, a sack (One without holes, hundreds with holes), pants with holes, a belt, a belt pouch (with a colossal hole), a tiny rusty lock, a fish hook, and a tin shingle. Despite seeing most of it as useless{{for this moment}}, Maverick throws it all into her sack and slings it over her shoulder and begins to whistle. Maverick looks about and finds a relatively not icky-spidery place to lie down inside the house. she says a quick prayer and goes to sleep.
John falls asleep on the bed of hay and ignores the many friendly ticks that call the bed there home.
Normus goes to sleep on the floor near some rat carcassses after eating a rotting rat carcass in the firepit that was never cooked.
After a drink from his canteen, Malak finds a place that is somewhat habitable, and goes to sleep.

LIST OF EQUIPMENT
*
*Malak

Bounty Hunter’s Outfit
Face Of Thurazg
Silver Holy Symbol
Gloves of Storing (Pair)
Darkwood Longbow
Quiver
Arrows (Regular) x16
Arrows (Darkwood) x14
Kikuri
Shank
Studded Leather Armor
Burlap Carrying Bag
box-o-matches (Matches x49)
Canteen
Compass
Traveling Blanket
Torch x1
Aristocratic Lift Pass
*
*Maverick

Life-Saving Ring
Peasants Outfit
Ratty Pants
Porn
Boots of Springing and Striding (Pair)
Confounding Cube
Heavy Mace
Darkwood Staff
Wooden Holy Symbol
Candle x1/2
Ruck Sack
Belt Pouch
Tiny Lock
Fish Hook
Tin Shingle
String
*
*John

Pants
Hat
Sickle
Darkwood Great-club
199 GP
Arm Guard
Fish Bones
*
*Normus

Ratty Suit
Scourge Whip
Jar of Grain
Fire Wood x10
Blankets x4
Garbage (LOTS of Garbage)
Wine Bottles x…um…. well a lot.
Barrel of Rain Water
Dead Hooker
**

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